Xmas Instruments: Bells (pt. 3)

Part three’s weirder stuff.

The Boy Least Likely To indies sl-o-o-w pop into the form of “It Will Still be Christmas.” The bells liven the festivities considerably.

Ponderously slow bluesrock marks Waylan St. Palan & The Magic Elves’ “Bells of St. Ignatius.” The sax saves it.

Les Fradken’s “Jangle Bells” makes a rock pop party out of the instrumentality of those fabricated metal pieces. Boss.

Party rock from Sam Scola utilizes the “The Christmas Bells are Ringing” as message and lyrics over and over. You’ll get it.

Watered down rock (for elder Boomers?) from Ginger Cat (feat. Eric Mullins) dampens “Sleigh Bells.” When they say Go, Cat, Go–i think they mean some intrusive tabby wandering through the rehearsal.

Pop music mashed with a rock through line punches up Ohio City Players’ “The Ringing of the Bells.” You have my permission to sing-along.

Just a bit punk, “Jingle Bells Rock” is Dude York slamming on the ‘caster. I’m having fun now.

Reverb punk and distortion from Song Boys destroy the joy of when “Slay Bells Ring.” Ouch.

Robert Blake (not that one, the ‘Dr. Bob’ one) wants to “Make Those Jingle Bells Rock.” He may not make them rock, but he makes them roll under the couch where you can’t reach.

Just a bit rap, “Jingle Jangle” is Yarou (feat. Sydney Smithmartin) classing up the joint with funk.

Sean Cole the Outlaw raps that merry monotone about suffering in “Ringing Like Bells.” That’s his phone, dawg. BLUE ALERT

Hoarse rap from Hard Call Christmas shows us how to rock “My Christmas Bells.” Harsh.

Millennial musings from Lorena Leigh include Southwestern climes, hence “Navidad Bells.” The voice is strong in this one indie.

Indie folk from Krisp and the Kringles warbles out the message of “Bells of Peace.” Get to it, wudja?

A Fine Frenzy can’t make sense of a distant family reuniting for the holidays. They recommend ringing bells to “Wish You Well.” Pretty indie pop.

Make Like Monkeys declare “I Love You Jingle Bells” with the coolest of retro rock. A bit obsessive.

Xmas Instruments: Bass

This is a pretty loose term: stringed, skinned, brass, speaker, deep-throated? (It just means pitched.) Well, we’ll stick mostly with the longneck guitary thing. Electric, at times. At other times–look out.

Donna Singer gets jazzed when she reveals that time “Santa Plays the Bass.” It’s a North Pole jam session of moderate consequences. Unplugged.

DETOUR! Monty Harper (feat: Lisa Harper (tenor ukulele) & Donald Brown (cajon)) reveal in their backroom how “Santa’s Got a U Bass.” That’s a ukulele, kids. No, you can’t borrow mine. I don’t have one. Fine surf rock.

David M. Bax falsettos “Merry Swidmas” about Santa’s visit (where not a bass was playing). This downbeat jazz also wishes you a Merry Bassmas, so there’s that.

DETOUR: Feel the bass, see the lights, quips Kwistone in “The Santa in da Club.” Yeah, it’s club pop–you might wanna card this one for legality. But, it’s all about that sound system. Their “Santa’s Sleigh Drift” EDMs how important the bassline thumping in your ride must be.

Carols played on the bass still get a pass, but comedy about that monotone sound gets a play. So, here’s “Amazing Bass” from the Bob & Tom Show (morning radio from the ’90s, wee ones).

Merle Haggard interrupts his breaking out of county for Christmas when “I Made the Prison Band.” Ol’ C+W what names the players, beginning with the bassist. The power of performance compels him.

A gut bass, too features as well in “My Cajun Christmas” by Gary Strickland. Decorous Zydeco.

J9’s “Island Christmas” also includes this instrument for their Polynesian sound. Is there any ethnic genre the bass can’t anchor?!

A Caveat Christmas” in which the elves are kicked into gear by music is played by Caveat (feat. Kelsey Minko & Jonny Jed). Trent, the bassist, leads the charge to save the gift dispensation. American R’n’R, and it wails.

“If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?”-C.P.

Again: JMaq singsongs the wisdom of the ages with his electronic “Christmas isn’t Real.” Please address each one of his points singly.

There’s gotta be more to this, reasons The Twelve Twenty-Four Collective with jazzy overtones to the easy listening in the searching “Christmas Isn’t Real.” By not real, they mean incomplete–in the big scheme of bells and wrapping paper.

Also trying to focus on what’s important, The TV & Film Music Collective (feat. Shay Watson) reduces our holidays to nothing… without you. “Christmas Isn’t Real” squeaks in under the gate as more jazzed easy listening, but don’t expect more lovelorn frippery this month.

Let’s return to our mission as The Brockstars nasty up the Advent in “Santa isn’t Real.” This rocker manipulates the masses to get some. Then some more.

“Belief is the natural state of things; disbelief, skepticism, science, is not natural”-M.S.

Again: REVENGE covers Rusty Cage’s “Christmas Knife Game Song.” The bubblesome-ness is here, but this time the nihilism gets great electronic backup.

OG protest folk “Santa Doesn’t Exist” by Apple Juice Party stinks of Dylan, but breezes like Dylan.

The Burstein Boys twangle out some pop rock straight talk from Dad. “Santa Doesn’t Exist” takes us through the prog schema of the ’70s: genre flip-flops, ups/downs–the whole magilla. Wotta trip.

Silver Louzy And Friends ! (ft. Antony Looser) uses this door opening to echo the rock with “Santa Doesn’t Exist But Satan Does.” That electronic baseline is going to kill me.

“To believe that what has not occurred in history will not occur at all, is to argue disbelief in the dignity of man”-M.G.

Boys set loose with sound equipment usually do better than The No Hits, No Wonders. So, unless it’s a song-prank, the angry amateurish “There Ain’t No Santa Claus” is on the naughty list.

Starting with ‘Sleigh Ride’ Tenille Primus & Tenielle Lewis dance carefree around “There’s No Santa Claus” with electronic easy listening and parang.

Jed Davis mashes retro rock with elctro-pop in the inspiring “There is No Santa.” Quite a ride, but i’m not sure of our destination.

Boys, straightened out by the parents, might moan the blues rock like we get from Baxter and The Basics. “There is No Santa Claus” is a roller coaster of belief suss and disbelief mistrust. I need a scorecard here.

“The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief – call it what you will – than any book ever written”-A.A.M.

clockworkbird and japmn uncrank some industrial pop into slomo folk for “I Don’t Believe in Santa.” Who hurt you?

Don’t Believe in Santa Claus” by ShitBricks is more band practice than garage. Know your exits at all times.

Clown School Dropout’s “I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus No More (War on Christmas Version)” mixes media, but stays in the slow lane of rock (or maybe the short bus of pop–i can’t tell from here). Perhaps it’s only global agenda philosophy that makes it dull.

I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus” care of The Matt Lewis Experience also takes its time with carefully considered nihilism. Rocking folk pop that makes you think/not care.

“Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business”-T.R.

Again: “Santa Is a Fake” by Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers is the hard (dad) rock that digs deep into the heartache of growing up. The word’s out.

Little Suzy also faces reality in News at 5’s “Calling Out for Santa.” This is the hard-nosed takeaway from Mom’s unremitting cancer. Then Timmy suffers from Dad’s alcoholic abuse. Janey’s son gets it worse. And Santa won’t help. Brutal folk.

Summer Camp poops all over your beliefs with “Here Again.” Indie cynicism to feed your depression.

The Vandals decide gift-giving is moot since “I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus.” Punk dissection of our hypocrisy. And humor.

I have about a dozen versions of “Don’t Believe in Christmas” from Smash Mouth to Pearl Jam. But they all repeat without embellishing upon the original verzh from The Sonics 1965 (except perhaps for some of the foreigners).

“If a man will content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties”-F.B. BLUE ALERT

Again: Otis Gibbs ups the skepticism with “Lookin’ Like a Hippie.” Groovy fiddlin’ makes this blues, but i’m bustin’ my sides on this one.

Merrill Leffmann presents “Daddy Says,” a cute bluegrass ensemble about a dubious kid. Tough logistics. Good stuff.

After an awkward gift exchange among millennials, Santa shows up shouting I’M FOR REAL! It’s all part and parcel for the garage fun of Corbeta Corbata’s “The Spirit Of Giving (Santa’s Lament).” Intense.

Libandano Urfam (ft. Libandano Urfam) tests our patience with the experimental rock “Awful Christmas Rap.” I don’t believe it.

“Doubt comes to the door in darkness, pretending to be alone and in need of your compassionate ear.”-J.C.

Again: Frearson pops rhythm with the heavy back beat of “I Can’t Believe It’s Nearly Christmas.” Nostalgic, really.

Also again: Can’t pass up the opportunity to share Bob Wire & Chip Whitson pissing and moaning “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmastime Again” in country pop.

VeggieTales oompahs kidsong with the celebratory “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” It’s ADHD catchy!

Jon Lilygreen smooves R+B with the casual “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas Time.” Funky guitar solo!

Michael Duncan smolders the R+B with the sultry “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” Then it gets dark. What th–?

Maxine Johan Mazumder fronts Henrik Lars Wikstrom for the spunky Motown “Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” It’s a dance party!

Big Marvelous melodizes rap with the slightly off-balance “Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” It’s like being intoxicated!

Tony and Tori Baker peddle rap with “Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” One piano chord, some axe riffs, and… rubber ducky?!

Rick Creelman snarks folk with “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” Social commentary doesn’t mix with anticipation, bro.

Istvan strumbles over frenetic folk with the poignant “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas Eve!” Kidstuff in its eagerness, but some good songwriting here.

Chely croons country with the pop swayer “Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” Nostalgic gas!

Lucas Hardy revs the pop with “Can’t Believe It’s Christmas Time Again.” Breathless rocking.

Gaspard Royant brings The Continent to indie pop with “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” Builds symphonically, yet that country twang keeps it grounded.

Brady Anderson twangs up country with “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” It’s for the kids!

Spirit Driven 2 puts grampa band on the map with “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” Plodding easy listening, perhaps slow paced for troubled breathing.

The Rubettes doo wop past their best by date with “I Can’t Believe It’s Christmas.” What’s that accent? Dentures??

Magma Melodier bosses retro rock pop with “Pinch Me (I Can’t Believe it’s Christmas).” Believe it, this is the good one.

“It helps to know that others have endured a loss of faith” J.C.

Again: JC Cassis reproves all the rigmarole for the holidays with symphonic R+B for “Christmas is Bullshit.” Eggnog is invoked.

Johnny Young trolls the drawl with “I Don’t Know If I Believe in Santa Claus.” This honky tonker asks more than it answers. Downer, but in a good way.

Eavesdropping on his child’s prayers, Nashional hears a little girl wrassling with doubt in “Hello Dear Santa.” Country moralizing.

Again: Nick Thune drops the truth bomb in the struggling country “You’re Still Getting Presents.” Secondhand smoke and mirrors. But, funny.

Silence Dogood does one better by announcing, in party rock, “There’s No Such Thing” as Santa. For your own good. Got it?