Mr. December

Ho ho ho, like jingle bells, ya dig? is the catch phrase from Sandy Baron’s “Swingin’ Santa.” Sax stirs it up and, honey, it IS stirred. Twistin’ and struttin’ and all that.

The Moods recognize that party crasher “Rockin’ Santa Claus” as well. He livened the party no living end. More sax, nascent rock.

Do You Hear What I Hear (feat. The Wicked Smart Horn Band) jump blues good ol’ “Santa” with insults that are really terms of endearment. They love ‘im!

Collaborateurs swing on down to “Santa’s Karaoke.” He’s got quite a repertoire, that Duke of donation. Swings!

Would you then like to “Sing Along with Santa“? As per The New Christy Minstrels that, strangely, requires generosity, courtesy, and gratitude. Loud folk.

A Harold Rippy monotones his inexplicably R+B pop to let us know there’s “Santa Claus Singing on the Back Porch.” Could be worse.

Santa

The Sonics cool the rock with their 1965 “Santa Claus.” It’s a wishing spree, but without proper reverence they may be gettin’ nuthen–nuthen–nuthen–nuthen!

Go Santa Go!” is boogie woogie slay from Pepita Slappers · Joakim Wall. Rafters raised. The Duderinos hit “Go Santa Go” as more evenly paced and easier to follow. The Wiggles’ “Go Santa Go” is standard kidsong. The Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) save it.

BeauSoleil bounces zydeco across town with “Papa St. Nick.” Sweaty, swampy, sweet.

Haschel Cedricson has decided than rap is whiteboy easy with “Santa Oom Mow Mow.” Cringe cool.

Mr. Santy Claus” is a celebration of life from those retro popsters Make Like Monkeys. TCB, baby.

Right Jolly Old Elf

Worth repeating: The Tinseltown Players over-orchestrate kidsong to a classic big band elevation with “When Santa Claus is Flying Through the Air.” It’s the tick-tock percussion that sells it.

That famous old guy who comes to visit on Christmas Day is bio-ed in kidsong from Maple Leaf Learning’s “His Name is Santa Claus.”

Sammy Kaye and His Orchestra (Vocal By The Kaye Choir) shows how to jazz the kiddies without compromising musical integrity with the old-fashioned “Santa, Santa, Santa Claus.” Old fuzzy-face makes an appearance as judge/jury/giftacutioner.

Mary (New Zealand All Girl Band) is sweet on the “Big Boy.” Can’t wait to see him. Seductively swaying sweet pop.

Hyperbole helps out Oscray’s gentle indie pop “Santa is Magical.” The mundane life of mall-going and nostalgia takes flight with this earnest harmony.

The Goons at Something Awful know how to ironically challenge kidsong as with Dr. Cogwerks’s whispery pop “The Story of Santa.” It’s not just a matter of English fluency, it’s weird. There’s murderous revenge in there. Oh well.

Christmas Chin Curtain Hollis

Psychostick namedrops Santa (as well as Jesus and Chewbacca) in their manifesto “Obey the Beard.” Bro rock.

Jaydes does the sexist rap for “Dirty Santa.” Amongst the sexual innuendoes is the invitation to pull the beard.

Holiday Roger to the rescue with the most disgusting Santa beard of all. “Rudolph’s Got a Nosebleed” is electronic pop about where to wipe that mess. Ugh. [Outdoing himself, HR adds a nauseating list of “Things in Santa’s Beard.”]

And Put Your Stubbles Out of Sight

The Hot Buttered Elves warn about not enough prep to play in the big sleigh. “Santa All Year Long” begins with a bad glue job, and ends with a fistfight in Vegas. Pop goes the whiskers.

Ken Jones uses the natural approach, growing his own in the ukulele comic folk “Santa’s Beard Song.” Amateur, yet precious.

Carbon Leaf also recounts the personal growth in the pop “LIVE” “Carter’s Christmas Beard.” It’s getting envious out there.

Neckbeard the Halls with Boughs of Holly Scented Oils

Must be Santa” checklists the features of Kringle (white beard is the primary), and it’s a children’s singalong staple. But when Bob Dylan powers up the polka machine and rocks the house, eyebrows must be raised. If you view the video, explain to me why Mr. Zimmerman has Barbra Streisand hair.

Recover with the micro-pop of Johnathan Mann’s “Creepy Santa Outside the Hair Salon.” Dude has written a song a day for years, so this is like thinking out loud for him.

In “The Ugly Sweater Song,” Henry Holyfield x DoeTheUnknown has a list longer than Santa’s beard. But gets R+B rap distracted by the titular jumper.

Miles Maxwell (feat. Gary Zimmer) tells THE REAL STORY of S.C. in “Santa Claus is Real.” He begins before his Santa beard could grow… but covers centuries quickly with pop song. And gets a bit extrapolative.

I Want a Pogonotrophy for Christmas

Don’t Go Pullin’ on Santa Claus’s Beard” is the schtick-y country from The Oak Ridge Boys. Is this advice for good manners, or merely a way to keep off the naughty list?

More suspicion from Ryan Marchand in the form of the ukulele comic folk “Santa, Is Your Beard Real?” I mean, you smell like beef and cheese….

The Drop Shadows not only believes, but in pop “Solidarity With Santa Claus” they also grow beards (for December).

Do You Beard What I Beard?

Santa’s Angry Elves reveal the real reasons circling “Santa’s Beard Conspiracy“: to cover up his hairlip. Tea spilled in this blues-rock!

Bluesy rock from Charlie William Boyd recounts tribulations up the wazoo from the big guy’s in “Long White Beard, Red Suit (Santa’s Lament).” He’s called names, he’s pulled over, and he’s soooo full of milk and cookies… Troubles!

Like my Santa-personating Snoopy T-shirt says ‘Chicks Dig the Beard.’ Jody Quine divas the pop “Got My Eye on You, Santa.” Mostly on the beard, the way she sells it.

Gunna Celebrate.264 LBC-AR

Keep an eye out… for bullets! (again)

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out” by Big Chris & D’bare Bones Band is a summary of that movie to some gangater honkytonk rockabilly. Makes that movie better.

Ralphie’s Red Ryders rock the pop when they persist their case: “I Won’t Shoot My Eye Out.” That’s right. I can dig it.

The (John) Candy metal the kidsong with their “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out.” Napalm? I feel threatened.

Johnny Dee rollicks the rock with “Shoot Your Eye Out.” It’s fun, even when he calls the household jolly assholes. So, be careful.

Millington swings the ska pop with “Christmas Song (I Don’t Want To Hear Another).” They do pick up on all the specials and movies, however, including having Lost an eye to a BB gun. Awww.

Gunna Celebrate.256 Gibbs Magnum BLUE ALERT

I shoulda seen “Jingle Bell Glock” coming. This BLUE ALERT parody comes in at a 7 for wit, but a 4 for talent. Sorry, Eddie Ishaya & Wasted Youth.

BLUE ALERT. The short-is rap “Asked Santa Claus For A Glizzy” by Sunshine Christo gets filtered and urban, but is so sing-along that you’ll want the whole family to join in.

Santa will you bring me a gun, I think I need to kill someone, sort-of raps April Blue in the just weird enough “Too Much.” Warned ya.

Kinsey Sticks point out how Lebanese and Syrians get a gun, so they want to also “Get a Gun.” A cappella pop with a hint of hymnal. And you can use it later for Halowe’en!

A bit ironic and agenda-driven The Private Gentlemen’s Yacht Club has the children recite “All I Want For Christmas Is a Shotgun.” The reason: It’s America! BLUE ALERT as well as gasp alert. Lively pop.