Category: pop music

I shoulda seen “Jingle Bell Glock” coming. This BLUE ALERT parody comes in at a 7 for wit, but a 4 for talent. Sorry, Eddie Ishaya & Wasted Youth.

BLUE ALERT. The short-is rap “Asked Santa Claus For A Glizzy” by Sunshine Christo gets filtered and urban, but is so sing-along that you’ll want the whole family to join in.

Santa will you bring me a gun, I think I need to kill someone, sort-of raps April Blue in the just weird enough “Too Much.” Warned ya.

Kinsey Sticks point out how Lebanese and Syrians get a gun, so they want to also “Get a Gun.” A cappella pop with a hint of hymnal. And you can use it later for Halowe’en!

A bit ironic and agenda-driven The Private Gentlemen’s Yacht Club has the children recite “All I Want For Christmas Is a Shotgun.” The reason: It’s America! BLUE ALERT as well as gasp alert. Lively pop.

Santa with a gun? Who’s shooting whom?

4 Aspirin Morning ska rap “Santa in a Ski Mask (Stick ’em Up It’s Christmas)” with all the womp womp of a club band. I had the time of my life.

Some dandy beach pop from Ryan Seabass defuses the whole “Santa’s Got a Gun” scenario. What, me worry?

Happy rap from Eiqu claims “Santa Claus was a Gangster.” Preferred a nine if memory recalls. Left bodies as much as gifts. Reformed later.

Shouted rap from The Benefit reveals what it’s like to be “Gunned Down by Santa Claus (I Didn’t See It Coming).” Honestly, it’s over before you know it.

fkbambam & Wxrmz get mighty BLUE ALERT rapping about “MRS CLAUS,” a demanding bitch, as well as Santa with his Tommy gun. Time to order online.

“Santa’s Got a Gun” is the big reveal in Watkins & the Rapiers bebop pop rock number. You’ll want your dance shoes on for this one.

“A Candy Gun for Christmas” by Niels Cremer takes a step back from the violence and rage and considers the psychology of toys and gifts with new aged indie-ism. BTW do you eat a candy gun barrel first??

…Running around naked firing nerf guns in the air is the least of the problems in the lite-metal “Another Family Christmas” from 77 Apes. Duck!

Two-Ton Santa warbles rock on the attic recording “Toy Gun.” There may be a lesson in here….

Even more atonal, “Bobby Got a BB Gun for Christmas” from Todds Holiday Greeting Disk spools out the escalating tale of a budding sociopath. Shouted folk pop.

Machine gun? The thugs in The Kinks’ “Father Christmas” ask for one (if you have one). Nearly polite for muggers. Classic rock/proto punk.

Caetano Veloso has a problem “In The Hot Sun Of A Christmas Day.” Through slow-mo classical pop we learn he’s being chased, but by someone who machine gunned someone else. I think. Wild flute backing it all up.

Against All Flags waves their garage banner “Machine Gun Christmas” like it’s the answer to all their problems. Then they switch to wanting a guitar. Whew.

“All I Want for Christmas (Is a Machine Gun)” by Henrique Couto is a mojo-nixon soundalike daring you to be offended with its pop sound. Cool.

Covered all the bases for a terrible, horrible, not very good Christmas, have we? Let’s see.

End of the world was last month, but something always falls through the cracks. Like “A Merry Nuclear Christmas” from X-Ray Mary. Old time rock and roll, babies.

also missed on the blog was “Worst Christmas Ever (Christmas of the Dead)” from Hardeman. Zombies are back with a vengeance.

Even more apocalyptic is “The Star That Fell to Earth” from Edison Lighthouse (those ‘My Love Grows (Where Rosemary Goes)’ guys). Prog rock about the meteor that heralded Christ. Look out! Save the dinosaurs!

The other end of the spectrum includes “The Worst Part of Christmas is You” wherein Oak Winter Red warbles out an alt-folk diatribe about how a cup of cocoa ruins EVERYTHING!

More relevant, Jeremih & Chance the Rapper rap-belt out “Tragedy” about a homeless man, and Winter, and fried sugary bells, and ghosts. I guess. It’s a bad scene.

“The. Worst. Christmas. Ever.” according to Lux Lisbon is still better than every other day. Thus endeth the lesson. Pop rock music preaches again.

Except for Tim Allen, no one ever said Santa was immortal.

“Worst Christmas Song Ever” is crappy lounge singing about the tender tots asleep on Christmas. Glenn Simonelli jazzes up the prank about telling the kids about Claus’s demise.

In “Christmas Sucks (Sheepie’s Christmas)” AlbinoBlackSheep (feat. Andrew Kepple) sings music hall jazz about how we all hate S.C.! After shooting him down, however, Sheepie has regrets.

Pete the Elf tipped me wise to the goth/blues of finding dead Santa whilst doing chimney work in the beautifully dark “A Daddy Christmas Eve” by Who’s the Daddy Now? Silver lining: another believer!

Make Like Monkeys return to feed the greed in “Mine!!! Rub Out Santa Claus.” Arsenic pies make an appearance in this ragtime-ish polka pop.

Statistics claim traffic injuries/fatalities are more numerous in the summer months than the winter… and yet, how awful for Xmas to be marred so.

Fleet Foxes messes with perception in their “White Winter Hymnal” about being careful not being enough when I turned ’round and there you go… Indie spookiness.

Lots of ‘Run Over’ songs and take offs. We shouldn’t, but we’ll allow “Grandpa Got run Over by a Hybrid.” Brad Tassell & Steve Goodie acquit the thankless job deliberately. Liberal backlash.

More parody?! “Here Comes Bubba’s Cows” all over NASCAR tracks. Dave Rudolf returns for a not-so-Christmas carol. Fire up the ‘Cue!

More on topic would be The Non Traditionals returning for “We Hit the Reindeers.” Jazzy rock with an MA rating.

“I was Made for Losing You” is an auto fatality from the POV of the DOA. Yikes, but soothing pop from Eric Bachmann.

“Car Seat Headrest and a Flashing Light” is all there is when winter traffic misadventures take over. The Non Traditionals indie rock this mess into a lesson to heed.

Alan Racadag’s “Worst Christmas Ever” revolves around sensory defenestration as well. …trying to remember… trying to forget… weirdly quiet indie grief.

The Cuckoo Clocks jazz band their “Accidents at Christmas” for a more complex family dynamic. Rejected Dad is driving away from his allotted holiday home time when he loses control of the car–