Category: pop music

As Seen on TV: SpongeBob SquarePants

The biggest moneymaker from Nickolodeon ever isn’t just a can of rocks shaken for the lovely sound it makes. It’s also musical.

The eighth season featured a all-singing formulaic story about Plankton taking over, blah blah. ‘It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!’ is stop motion which throws the surrealism out of whack but is otherwise serviceable. Stick to the album.

“Santa Has His Eye on Me” opens the story with just the right amount of repetitive mush and exposition.

These iconoclastic kid bits often push genres. Patrick the starfish’s “Pretty Ribbons and Bows” is a ’60s rock ‘splosion of ADHD fun.

Limp country from Sandy the Squirrel in “Ho Ho Hoedown.” I think i’ll stick to the better stuff.

The bad guy gets a real showtune carol in “Christmas is Mine.” Mwah ho ho ho.

The Brit pop anthem to kids “Don’t be a Jerk (It’s Christmas)” is the big hit, though. Falsetto ululate, all!

As Seen on TV: Tweenies

UK’s answer to Teletubbies was the pop song children in a nursery teaching and learning and coloring. Their album drops in ’04 and at least one song climbs to the top 100 of the Brit seasonal charts.

Starting out is the oo-ooh backbeat doodle “I Believe in Christmas.” Well, i believe in a formula for kidsong–fulfilled it. Ditto “Can’t Wait for Christmas.”

Reflective pop rears its stiff upper head with “Light up the World.” Social consciousness: check.

Most infectious is kidboppop “Fab-A-Rooney Christmas.” You know what’s coming….

As Seen on TV: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Turtles were around for a decade, mid ‘eighties to mid-‘nineties, but the nasty cash grab begins in the early ‘nineties. “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” is more cheaply made than porn, although it tries harder on the songs than on the dialog because this is the touring rock show in their own special.

Title song gets a cinematic treatment, as the big box office films came out before this video villainy. Pop.

“Michaelangelo’s Christmas Opera Song” is ‘O Tanenbaum’ done funnily. It helps the plot a bit.

“Gotta Get a Gift for Splinter” is percussive ska with an almost catchy beat.

As Seen on TV: Ren & Stimpy

Thus begins the nuevo wave-o of ’90s cartoons from cable channel Nickelodeon. The disgusting dog and cat gross-fest woke up a new generation previously taught not to pick their noses in public.

By 1993 a holiday album Ren & Stimpy’s Crock o’ Christmas an original story spunoff of their Yaksmas holiday shenanigans. I have offered songs from here before, so let’s mention a couple new ones before i barf.

Concert rock is the platform for the contrariness of “Decorate Yourself.” Should have mentioned this one earlier. Starts out amusingly….

Ren has the holiday blues for the whole album, despite Stimpy’s antic efforts to cheer. “I Hate Christmas” is the hilarious plot twist revealing the fat dog still grumbles. Smooth lounge blues.

Father-son sentimentality is pretty straightforward in “What is Christmas?” which i guess reveals the irony of the ’90s. If it’s honest emotion, sneer for all you’re worth. Quiet pop.

As Seen on TV: The Simpsons

The juggernaut of prime time cartoons has outlasted the age of irony, post-irony, and colonial irony. Naturally most of its holiday contributions are parodies of carols (caroldies).

“The 39 Days of Christmas” (sorry about all the non-song bits) came after “The 12 Days of Christmas (parody).” “The Grinch (parody)” nobody remembers. (Get that poster a tripod for Christmas.)

Better are the Nutcracker bits.

The holiday-inspired “Everybody Hates Ned Flanders” is the winner here, by a single Homer hair. (I mean, David Byrne covering…!) [To discover why this is considered a carol, watch the poorly recorded 40 second intro here–then stop watching.]

 

As Seen on TV: Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends

An independent TV toon that’s lasted for decades and offered music too, this playground of stereotypes need to work through their childish ways and become stiff upper lipped. And sing about being of use (why do i think of Boxer in Animal Farm?).

Not a follower, but i can tell “Glynn’s Christmas Wish” is later on with the uncanny valley scariness of the computer animation. Nice Brit pop story.

More derivatively carol-like, “There’s Snow Place Like Home” just sells it all the way out. Learn, kids, learn!

Less hyper, “It’s Christmas Time” is a measured consideration of pomp and celebration. Stand straight when you sing this one. Then you’ll get a lump of coal in your throat.

As Seen on TV: Fraggle Rock

The holidays include more than Christmas, as many other cultures get holy-rolly this time of year for their own simpatico reasons.

Thus we include a mention to the Wiccan-mystic underground fantasy creatures who worry about the big bell overhead. “The Bells of Fraggle Rock” mentions no Santa, no JC, no mistletoe… but it is in the spirit of the season relying on faith–not proof.

As Seen on TV: themes

Most TV shows have music, opening themes often included whole songs (until Lost ruined it for television musicologists everywhere). At times, feeling puckish with their funds, shows have had special holiday openings which spoofed their own music. These may exist in the hundreds. I have a few.

“The Rugrats Christmas Theme” doesn’t sound much like their opener, but it’s polka fun.

“Dora the Explorer Christmas Theme” also reeks of bells, not much castanets. Love the samba in the original.

“It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! Theme” sounds more like their music, and we’ll get to that special later. Lots of songs!

“3rd Rock from the Sun Christmas Theme” sounds very like their original, with a slight twist.

Ditto with “That ’70s Show Christmas Theme” which only jingles some bells.

Bear McCreary’s carol-sized minimalist intro for “Eureka Christmas Theme” goes all out, for about ten seconds. Thanks, Bear, now go count your Galactica residuals.

Presents of Mine: nope

No presents! For Christmas! Call my lawyer!

Hypothetically, is it Christmas? James Kyllo larfs it up with the pop music hall “[Christmas isn’t Christmas Without] Presents.” Even if the shopping drives us mad.

Even more British is the ska beat up “Driving Home for Christmas (Presents).” What? Forgot ’em?! The Thyme Machine illustrates the drama amusingly.

Maybe you just can’t find ’em. Childish ‘Rudolph’ parody “Where did They Hide My Presents?” is for children by Alan Katz. Settle down, kids.

21 Santa whips out his parody and chases down the naughty list to tell them “No Gifts.” Hip hop.

More naughtiness judged by Paul Mauled and The Furious Elves. “Santa Don’t Bring Gifts to Assholes.” Melodious garage rock.

Metal from King Diamond and Holy Grail crow “No Presents for Christmas.” Same song, different lead ins. They’d just set those presents on fire anywho.

The original tear jerking “The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot” hails from Phyllis Robins. Light jazz with excessive orchestration. Wait, my face is leaking.

Much More Upbeat, riddim from Nicole David dances out “No Gift.” See, she got busy. Check later.

David Myles has to suffer ever year because “Santa Never Brings Me a Banjo.” Light, fluffy enjoyable bluegrass.

An amazing Christmas song, rivalling ‘Fairytale in New York,’ comes from The Hive & Cyndi Lauper. What terrible people in “A Christmas Duel.” What dirty secrets. No presents! No! Get away from me.

Recalling Devo, Yulenog hollers “I Want Presents!” only to be told No–again and again. It’s just a matter of waiting for the right time, but –oh okay booboo. Alt-pop.

Presents of Mine: oddly specific

More weird presents for JC-Day.

Obvi parodies include “I Want a Hypothalamus for Christmas” by Danny Birt. It’s only a minute, and seems to be a lovely neurological lesson–until we learn how the gift is achieved.

Ursula Burns and Donal Scullion get weird with the gift of a nuclear power station in the sly folk sweetness “Every Day of the Year.” Got a little agenda on you there.

Seth McFarland weighs in with “I Want a Gun for Christmas” from American Dad. Pop rock-lite.

The Blenders a cappella “I Bought You a Plastic Star,” but make it sexy. Huh. Bohuslän Big Band make it swing.

I hope you’ve heard “Millennium Falcon for Christmas” by John Arnealio. I posted it before. It’s boss. And heartbreaking. And folk/rock.

Best Christmas gift ever? “The Murple’s Magic Hat” seems to be the wish of infinite wishes, according to the kidrapblues from A Halo Called Fred. Must hear this.

First Atom crows how “I Bought You a Sweater.” Is that hipster lingo for something i should know about? Bouncy alt-pop, it’s in the spirit of the holiday, hey.