Year-round Yuletide oddities
Wah, can’t get a date on the 25th! I’m so mad, I could swear!
Go Set Go is pretty depressed by it all. “Fuck Christmas” is a folk spiral down into sickness. Come along. Pretty strumming.
Carter Skull, in a rejected state, avers “Fuck It, It’s Christmas” to all his incel buddies. Pop jitterbug blues.
Anger at overspending (and having to return crappy presents) excites 85% Jesus to rockin’ song with “Merry Fucking Christmas (To Some of You).” Wow.
But finally, a song that celebrates the 1% (with tongue in ass-cheek) for the holidays. Meanspiritedness trickles down, motherspender! Brad Sucks and John Benjamin present “Fuck You, Motherfucker (It’s Christmas)” as a quarterly economic lesson for the rest of us. Coffeehouse pop folk. Have fun with this one.
Far away places with strange sounding names celebrate Christ’s birth. Also piss all over it. But with panache.
Swansea Jack is a Welsh sod with a wicked sense of song as “Oh Mush Christmas” exhibits. You may need a translator.
The French love their revolutionary anti-socialism, but this band and this song is a metal mystery to me. Does “Fuck Christmas” use the F-word? Quel damage, mes amis?
Can Whatever21 be Franc with me? Their “Merry Fucking Christmas” is basic (if not classic) rock.
Slovenian Aljaž Vuk banjos up the fun with his “Christmas Song” which features Santanapping and profanity, thickly accented for your pleasure.
“Merry Fucking Christmas” is energized punk by DØMT. That’s foreign i figger. This is flipside to ‘Rudolph is a Drunk.’ but it has it’s own reprise.
Rockabilly makes all merry and bright. So Alabama Black Snakes (Danish dudes!) take the whole concept less seriously with “Merry Fucking Christmas.” Whoa whoa, there’s intermissions for dramatic content!
Those classy Scandinavians can do (US) country music better, rock’n’roll better, earworms better… what about iconclasm? Try Zanko’s industrial electro pop “Merry Fucking Christmas.” Fa, la la, la la, la, la, what a party.
They grow up so fast, those Santa-believers! They’re drinking and smoking and SWEARING and still moon-eyed for the gifts.
Rap can appeal to the infant in the urban lost kid, so Gentleman’s Delight & IFHT (feat. Peter Chao) cry out with a child’s realization that the list isn’t the gift with “Fuck Christmas,” a melodic journey lashing out at handy targets (your mom!) and ending with a fan letter to you, girl.
Talay sings (i guess–pick a key!) “It’s Fucking Christmas” as if she were announcing ‘It’s really Christmas.’ Pop millennial anthem about love, life, and disappointment.
Just the right music can mollify the worst of the curse words. And save Christmas!
Nomy misleads with bright pop music sugarcoating a child’s angry message: “Merry Fucking Christmas.” Ready, aim….
Blink-182 ramps up the pop with their littlest of ditties “Happy Holidays, You Bastard.” Hot dogs for the holidays!
Just a moment for positivity. Fuckin’ A.
Sex Bishops go modulated electronic pop (’70s Steven Hawking) for “It’s Christmas (Let’s Have a Jolly Good Time).” Unabashed programmed jollity.
Crudbump likes life. So “Fuck You If You Don’t Like Christmas” and so many of the other good things. More intolerantly tolerant pop. Holy God, reindeer dogs.
The F-word may have descended from the Dutch for ‘fidget,’ or a Scottish take on a Viking obscenity. It certainly did NOT derive from an acronym (Forced Unlawful Carnal Knowledge), but they’re so fun we will adapt that practice for our posting titles.
The power of the expression is its complete and utter taboo. It may have existed before the Middle Ages (when, according to my University of Oxford reference, swive was the nasty word for copulation) and was just too abhorrent to commit to print. But this is a new age, and fuck may be used as every part of speech in any context. It is a showstopper, an emphatic, a mood enhancer, a protest, hatespeech, and a rite of pasage. You name it… and Xmas songsters do.
All month we will whittle down the offerings of novelty Christmas music to feature a sensational recording or two (maybe reprising a past post if it bears a second hearing) for each day. So let’s stop talkin’ ’bout it and just do it.
Our first time we’ll take it slow. The bad words don’t really start until this song is largely over. But, please follow this TMI journey of depression and heartbreak as Matthew McPeck bemoans the loss of the one truly fun holiday in order to have a miserable celebration in “Fuck Christmas (I Wish It was Halloween),” an ’80s pop anthem so charming i’ll overlook the grammar.
Everyone else is a jolly couple with some other freakin’ significant other at Christmas. So hate the world outta loneliness! See if that helps!
Matt and The Nobodies gently rock the notion with “Christmas Blows.” He is so alone and soulful.
Okanomodé dives deep into desolate despair with the hiphop pop of “Anti-Christmas Song.” Great backbeat. Horrible worldview.
You promised forever, but Meaghan Smith knows “Christmas is the Worst” without you. Soft light pop (lotsa melody, some hand clapping, little actual music).
More superpop from Photronique with “Getting Down on Christmas.” Mistletoe’s a trigger for the solitude! But this party bubbly froth surely foretells a hollow holiday hookup.
Classy UK pathos from The Fratellis in the form of “Lonesome Anti-Christmas Blues.” Not blues, of course, but pop. SO whiney you might never fall in love again.
Okay, okay, sometimes the kvetching about Christmas is self indulgent whining. But isn’t the enjoyment of Christmas the same thing?
Les Issambres kidsongs up the punk with “Christmas Sucks Anyway, Everything’s Shit.” There may be a moral here, but who cares–da da deedee dah–dahdah.
Joss Stone hits way too many high notes with her “Anti-Christmas Carol.” It’s smooth jazz and swirls like a blizzard, but it’s message of hatred is a silly gimmick. Kidding!
John Hinton (aka Johnny Acecraft) of Spalien Acecraft gets Brit-pissy with his “Anti-Christmas Song.” It pops like a cracker. He cracks like a pauper.
Take a break from the antagonism! Let’s get amusing and witty with the ideas for this one post at least.
Impertinent parody of ‘Wonderland,’ “The Anti-Christmas Song” allows Greg Orosz to mock the ridiculousnss of that time of year. Clever.
5inco Minutas (‘from Brazil but singing in English sounds so much better’) call out the crap from their viewpoint in “I Hate Christmas.” Techno pop that’s fun to follow along.
I like what Dan O’Farrell does with his The Purge version of “Anti-Christmas Day.” This pretty slow pop piece is mad that Christmas makes us bastards 364, since we’re only called to task the one day. So why not vice the versa? Ha!