“2016 Hurray Hurray for Christmas” is so happy the election is over (goodbye to Trump and Hillary!). But that was short sided, not a good look for folk. Mostly about Greg Helmer’s friends and family, not the world at large.
So, back to The Holderness Family with a “Merry Christmas 2016” music rap: all the positive news of the year including the Cavs, Gilmore Girls, ‘Hamilton,’ the mannequin challenge, and a new puppy. The big deal is IT’s ALL IN ONE TAKE. Infectious.
Now for historical documents: songs that salute the year they hail from. Hindsight? Not much! Anger? Oh, yeah.
Malinda does her annual Xmas card with “An Honest 2020 Christmas.” Her angel/devil debate over how sucky the year was includes murder hornets, John Krasinski, TikTok, and global death totals. Much witty parodising of carols.
A different approach comes from The Holderness Family, whose “Christmas Jammies 2020” (a tradition beginning in 2013) celebrates drive throughs, less pollution, UFO acknowledgments, ‘Parasite,’ and the Christmas Star (juxtaposition of Saturn and Jupiter). Rap (The Killers) parody upness.
“2020: A Virtual Christmastime” by Sam Gecko (feat. Kristen Leah) is a lively pop tune about Covid and masking and isolating and whatnot. Party! I said, Party! I can’t hear you! No, you’re on mute.
Buck Æ Down appropriately downers the year with superlatives. Fine folk is “2020 Christmas” with its class warfare, police brutality, racism, and economic failure. And Alex Trebek?!
Upbeating, The Sons of Pitches (feat. Dan Bull) a cappella “Best Christmas” about hand washing and vaccines and whistling!
Desperate for positivism, Nathan Ro goes lounge easy listening for his “2020 Christmas.” Great masking joke.
Dominique’s “2020 Christmas” is ethereal pop about over drinking and all the reasons to do so (12?).
At this point, the year Twenty Twenty-five is the future, so the spirit of Xmas then, as per Holiday Roger’s faboo “Christmas Spirits,” tells us Cookies are made of lasers, Christmas lasts forever, Santa is president, and Better reindeer are invented. Let’s go! Electronic comedy pop.
Multiples of two thousands aren’t as easy to graph into our curve, but “Smell of Christmas” by Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man must not be overlooked due to its experimental pop and grisly nature. The tons of whiskey needed to get through the horrors of the holidays outweigh the dead dog, blindness, broken families, suicidal tendencies, and overpowering odors of Santa. Happy merry.
Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick hearken us back to 1977 and the best present a kid could hope for, the Atari Computer Video System–a game you could play on your TV that wasn’t Pong. Also known as the “2600,” this quantum leap in technology began the decline of Western Civilization. Who didn’t want to be the first kid on the block with one?! Repetitive pop madness.
Michael Shelton’s biochemistry lesson “3,000 Xmas Lights” is a tripping rock romance fantasy in which the Xmas metaphor is the least disturbing aspect. in the final line.
Mindy Smith isn’t getting home for Christmas. “The Snow and Three Thousand Miles” is yet another missing-you missive to music, this time slow country pop. Chin up, ye separated ones, love will find a way.
Crooning with tremolo, Stan Rogers laments that “First Christmas” 3000 miles away from home, working the holiday shift in the shop. Classic country downer. But, wait, maybe he’ll meet that runaway girl escaping domestic abuse….
OHEI & 500 Year Food duet a sparkly jazz mood with “Christmas in LA (or NY)” about taking sides for Xmas. Long dee relationships, a’know?
This Century is also closing the gap between long distance lovers. “Kiss Me Like It’s Christmas” smacks the pop with gusto and hope, despite being a continent away.
Sarah Golding notices how empty the beautiful Christmas Day is with you thirteen thousand kilometers away. “Same Sky” seems empty, though the slow piano pop is fulsome. ‘Scuse me, need a hanky.
The million faces passing by make you and me “Always Christmas.” Heather Nova’s take on pop loving.
Davis Mallory may be looking for love with his hot pop “Christmas Giving,” but his outsider angst tips him off bad-boy charm and into weirdo. A million people celebrating but you feel so lonely and sad….
“Christmas with You” is the best of a million things, a thousand things to see for Madisen Renee (feat. Riza Singal). Breathy diva pop.
Fats Domino don’t need a million dollars, because you are enough for him. “I Told Santa Claus” is a boogie woogie proposal. Awww.
The million love songs holds no candle to what I want–“All I Want” is not the songs. Snappy soul from Jamie Jones, Matt Wong, Hanna Asres Jones (feat. Pau).
Robbie Williams sang a song a million sing in “Idlewild,” a hipster pop love meet-cute.
More exaggeration with Jimmy Buffet’s “A Sailor’s Christmas.” A million soggy miles is also applicable to the parroted leader.
Perhaps not a million miles away, but it feels that way with pop R+B “This Christmas” from Jimmyjamster (feat. Eric Sumpter & Mercedes).
From a million miles away Chris Isaak goes weepy country plonking in “Christmas on TV.” Worth a revisit.
A Fine Frenzy also feels that same distance (from family) as they “Wish You Well.” Weepy pop this time.
It’s wearing on Elizabeth Chan who has seen this sort of thing a million times. But “Christmas Through Your Eyes” will make it reset anew. Pop to the rescue.
Babs had a dream a thousand miles away a million years ago, in her overwrought easy listening “I Remember.” There’s gotta be something about Xmas in there.
Is it enough food to have a million courses? Would Bing steer you wrong? “Christmas Dinner Country Style” returns for easier listening.
It’s almost magical that you came my way from a million stars, ya alien you. *NSYNC’s “It’s Christmas” annoys more than it bores.
A million trees surround Xandar, but his “Quarantined Yuletide” is a piano rag-pop search for meaning that will never land.
