Category: pop music

Dylan Daley is not too good at make-up songs as proved by his “Merry,” a sad sack passive aggressive why-can’t-we-get-together-now-that-I’m-back-in-town-for-Christmas-instead-of-400-miles-away emo-boy pop ode. Whiney to the max.

Rizo is dealing with the haters hanging with the 1907 Syndicate and worrying about keeping up. “Life Goes On…” stresses the purpose, but eases on the mad rhymes–Fuck you if you don’t like me I’m just trynna make a living Buy everybody 900 dollar presents for Christmas… which must be the mark of success or something.

The Red Squares represent the smug SOB who tells his girl he’s right. So she takes a Greyhound bus back home for the holidays To be with her East Coast family 900 miles away–not a good sign. “Santa Don’t Stop for Me” is the logical call-out for a boy who’s as bad as any boy can be. But the music is boy band as good as can be.

What’s nine one one to you? A call? A car? A calamity? It could be so many things!

Some Karen called 911 when someone Christmas Day was seen breaking and entering in “Santa Got Arrested” by The Arrogant Worms. Bouncy pop. Just what we need.

Also calling would be Cledus T. Judd who can take only so much “Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily.” Pop redneck country. [Cledus also avails of 911 in “Tree’s on Fire.” Fishing for spokesperson role?]

Pyreworks heavy metals the merry tale of children calling for help when “Santa Died” on the floor of their home–where’s Grampa?!

A 911 Carrera tops RuffGotRhumes’s “My Christmas List.” Inoffensive, nay playful, rap.

JohnLion compares a rare beauty to both Christmas morning and a Porsche 911 in “Sleigh Tonight.” Lusting rap for that red dress.

Nick and Gabe bring it back around to novelty with “Thank God (9/11 Wasn’t on Christmas).” This pop tribute begins with how awful people make the holidays, BUT… ‘coulda been worse. Thanks for the perspective, boys.

“Dial 999” is a fun children’s song about Santa crashing and needing emergency services. Plus a house fire, and a runaway cooked turkey. Pauline Willoughby has an odd sense of appropriateness, but when we realize 999 is emergency for the UK all is clear again. Those Brits!

Tortured banjo folk from People Who Look Like Things disses the religiously observant, claiming there are only “1000 Christmases.” Then we’ll be free. They keep singing about it so much, they note there’s only 999 more now. What’s got there goat (lamb?)?

If being a thousand miles away sucks at Christmas, how good is it to BE home?

“Miss Christmas” is what Abigail Bowers does NOT want to do, b/c of the thousand little moments she loves. So, yeah, not there–but the song so positively whispers in diva jazz pop about the good parts ’bout being there, we’ll count it as there.

Getting cosy with it, “Homemade Christmas” shows Eleri Angharad your love is like a thousand little lights. Her shrill slow pop is romantic and antic at the same time.

Your tree shines out in a thousand shades of gold heralds Christopher Joseph Cortés (feat. Jeremy Perez, Jesse Mclaren & Tim Garcia) in spirited high school glee form by means of “It’s Christmas Time,” a spiraling pop statement of popitude.

How much further apart can you be for Christmas than 1000 miles? Well, we’ve already covered songs that bemoan 12,000 miles. But that 4-digit distance… that’s f-a-r.

Drove a thousand miles just to see you smile warble Goo Goo Dolls in “This is Christmas.” Alt-pop laconism. Effective.

Also weary, “Won’t be Home for Christmas” recounts how yet again There’s a thousand miles between us (And another year that’s seen us throw it all away). Flyte marches in a sorrowful holiday pop drum beat.

Under the tree Wrapped presents w/ your name On the marquee A thousand miles away boy band pop Amely with “Christmas Time Again.” I’m not sure where they’re going with that. Bouncy, though.

All the flights have been delayed phones in John Legend a thousand miles away. He’ll be there “By Christmas Eve“–you can count on him. Earnest soul.

Larson Lee admits “This Christmas Day (I’m Far Away).” Less lugubrious, more chimey pop the thousand miles away doesn’t seem so bad.

Well about 1000 miles away Lives a big ole jolly man With presents on his sleigh sings David Brodie in the oddly serious “December 24th (One Night).” Not sure what the odometer will read when he’s done, but this perky bluegrass limned pop rejoices.

Nikki and Ziki Hexum get light rock romantic with “This Christmas Night.” Out of one thousand and one people there’s only you, ya love match you.

Rob Lord sweetly serenades us with a Southern Hemispherically Christmas, like no other. This laid back “12.25” pummels pop into a soulful seduction. Sign me up.