Missed you last Sunday. Y’know Easter. It’s all beginning middle and end for us Western Civvers because of JC. But we try not to directly link that little baby in the manger with suffocating and pierced on some dusty hillside. No foolin’ though: he died for you; be grateful.
Not so reverent are our pranking holiday songsters! Deep dark December is a time to reflect on mortality, which gets mixed up with rebirth and then you just gotta put it to music–maybe with a larf. So we’ll spend April on a few passing on bits for you all sugar plummed up–or whatever else you got out of your grassy basket–for our Christmas Every Day of the Year appreciations.
Our classic today is from Parker and Stone on their South Park Christmas album. How do i know it’s a classic? Well here is Dryante Zan, who seems to have learned English from TV, covering his beloved ironical special noel: “Dead Dead Dead.”
Easter may not be an appropriate reference for the high holiday of Xmas. Or is it…. Tell ya what, we’ll deal with death and resurrection next month. Let’s get back to swearing.
Tinkling the piano keys all artisan fancy Lisa Scudiero dives deep into androgynous anger over present-giving posers pouting while she does all the GD work.
Her “Merry Shitty Christmas” is a gentle tune of ulcer-giving complaints. An octave higher and i’d call her a whiny bitch. But she plays it just right as a Unionizing call to arms.
Perhaps we’re going in circles running from where fudge is made to lemonade, but i’m working up to worse and worse… brown is for later. Now for yellow. (And we’ll explore snow in a bit.)
Precocious li’l ol’ Lori Mae Hernandez ‘tubes up her channel with parodies and ukulele stand up. Her Christmas songs are pretty straightforward, but “Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me) Christmas Song” uses that catchy Disneyed tune to wonder when Santa has time to go (fuller of milk than a 1990s ad campaign). Childishly naughty.
It’s Sunday Again! Time for Love to mean agape’. For, you know, God.
Churches still churn out original material, inspired as they are. Here is Mark Schultz writing for his Street Baptist Church a few years ago, and singing “When Love was Born.”
Now don’t forget all the party fun you can have with Chanukah!
You know, spinning pointy little clay dice! You get to kiss a girl after that right?
I hope you all already know the South Park anti-semitic bit o’ fun “Dreidel Song.” Good, then we don’t have to address that silliness.
The trad version has been (over)done thousands of time, from bluegrass to swing to hip hop. Not interested.
Incubus busts a rhyme in their “Dreidel Song” and lays down a fine hora beat. They seem to be getting into the spirit of it.
“Chocolate Coins” from Smooth-E (Eric Schwartz) raps even harder and brings that famed Jewish sense of humor (a bit too hard?).
BLUE ALERT Rucka Rucka ALi has a totally inappropriate dreidel song using stupid rhymes to make social commentary and poop jokes. I laughed. Then felt bad. then i laughed again. Racism? AND Star Wars?
But for the whole family, The Itchy Kazoo Show uses puppets to show us how fun (and significant) dreidel play is with “The Hannukah Dreidel Song.”
Everyone expects the Novelty here to be Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song Part 2” (have you heard Neil Diamond‘s original?), but NO–can’t hear that One More Time. No means something else.
Yet, while we’re on the Billy Madison topic, check on the fan parody by René Marcellus and Christina Hondromihalis. They really want to be in one of his movies or something, so they sing about Chanukah to Lady Gaga’s ‘Bad Romance.’ It’s called “Gaga Hanukkah with Adam Sandler.” You might believe it after you’ve seen it.
Gotta give Sandler the props for his cartoon movie “Eight Crazy Nights.” I watch this every year and still laugh (go figure). The weirdly realistic animation (Ralph Bakshi stylized), the super-cool man-child loser hero, the two-edged sword of ageism and intolerance toward prejudice, and the meandering moralistic songs… wow. I could go “The Bum Biddy Song” because it’s more ethnic, but i always default with “Davey’s Song.” Rebellious angst and holiday hate. Isn’t that just a little bit Chanukah?
BLUE ALERT: PEOPLE ARE SWEARING MAD ABOUT THIS DAY
Black Friday, the special discount day for retailers right after Thanksgiving, is arguably the first day of Christmas, certainly the first day of Xcess. Not everyone wants to celebrate it.
Without music, SGT Report exposes the depressing truth behind our greedy grab economy. Truth Stream Media poetically transposes retro ads with horrifying stampedes of lower middle classers killing each other, in case you weren’t sure that Black Friday was bad.
Asalieri2’s screed against the special day “Happy Black Friday!” runs against the music of ‘Have a Merry Little Christmas’ while ‘tubing disturbing footage of shoving and punching and grabbing. Okay, i will stay home.
Monique Nagel (i think) has recorded “Black Friday Shopping Song” to the tune of ‘We Three Kings.’ I did not see this one coming. It’s mournful and clever.
The Resident has a cute ‘Jingle Bells’ riff with her “The Black Friday Song.” She’s adorably ironic if not outright funny punching us in our capitalist faces (look out, she swears!).
The Holderness Family also abuses ‘Jingle Bells’ for “Better Than Black Friday” which addresses the all-important Amazon Prime Day. FrGdsakes.
The popular trick here is to make fun of Rebecca Black’s song ‘Friday.’ Alex Kimball gets acoustic piano and parodic with his “Black Friday Song” as well. This is a rehearsal surely. “Black Friday Night Song” by ‘Two Pretty Girls’ looks like a dare, but plays like a shoulda woulda girl band that never happened. Sing to that laptop girls! Jessica Frech tilts into professionalism with her “Black Friday Night Song.” Great production values; good song skills. Ally Hills pulls sweet with her “Black Friday” and triggers my paradeus button. Loves me some note-for-note parody of pop songs bending the Merry way. (Insanely, Kohls stores has a commerical spot with this same idea.)
Original songs get slightly more fun. Paul Howard recites his “Black Friday” (guess you’d call that a capella) telling the heroic story of his shopping prowess, but keeps going and going and going….
Libby Allen does her “Black Friday” as a kids’ song. Its limited musical range and emphatic repetitiveness should make it funnier than it is. But no, not a insta-classic.
Barry Finnerty and Clarita Zarate’s “Black Friday: The Song” sings the blues about consumerism and crowding (footage of the Huns storming!). but their snark undercuts all our Christmas dreams.
Eric Folkerth gets serious for just a moment with “The Martyr of Black Friday” honoring the memory of Jdmytai Damour, the man trampled to death at a New York Walmart in 2008 on Black Friday. Holy crap, he really wants to remind us of God’s message AND sermonize over this.
All emo alt-pop comes Jim Berhle of Skibunnynot singing “Black Friday Theme Song.” He wins me over with his computer progammed melody and punchy vocals.
Brett Newski tries out hard folk rock (“better to burn out than fade away” Brett?) with “Black Friday Totally Sucks.” Judgment during the holiday times just seems so screamingly snide from this dude.
The real deal here is the banjo-tastic folksie “Black Friday No More” recorded at the dining room table by Elizabeth Loring and Larry White. The satire of our ridiculous ways is so much more palatable with bluegrass.
Beth Crowley sings “Black Friday” as a 90 second musical theater tribute. Soulful and meaningful.
Shop? Protest? Cuddly teddy bear Kevin Gisi finally takes the subject seriously! His “The Black Friday Carol” wants you to go out and buy and he does it in such a christmassy style it makes me cry just a little. Like Michael Crawford in ‘Phantom.’
There’s no better Christmas Ghost story than Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. Terrifying the stuffing outta your contrarian soul in order to learn ya the lessons of the Baby J!
Boss Martians have a great rocker called “3 Ghosts.” I dance to it (but not a Halloween dance). (It’s currently blocked on Youtube.)
Animaniacs have a ChristmasCarol episode with songs. They’re fun, but 10 minutes later i’m starved for music again.
Which i guess means i oughta mention the Mr. Magoo Christmas Carol and its big hit “Alone in the World.” It’s sweetly sad, not ghosty enow.
Superplushybros’s “Christmas Carol Rap” is clever but clumsy and coulda used a bit more jingle in the backbeat.
Chris Blackwood’s musical adaptation includes the song “Link by Link” which is noisy and cutesy at the same unfortunate time.
But my favorite ghost song springing from this source has gotta be “Marley and Marley” from A Muppet Christmas Carol by the inimitable Paul Williams. Love ya, PW!
