Category: show tune

You think Christmas presents are tough? Hanukkah is an octuple toughie!

Mark worries what to get his mom in “Mom’s Hanukkah Song.” This is bitter folk sibling rivalry, trying to make the gift of this song better than what brother Matt got her. I’m Team Mark! (He’s a great accountant, so i forgive the mudslinging.)

Don Cooper worries about what he wants in “My Hanukkah Gift” with fun kidsong folk with kid back up. Seems like he mostly hopes he doesn’t break all the presents by the time it’s over.

Elissa Oppenheim Shreiner & Sunnie Miller stir up the supsense with the slow kidsong “Eight Little Presents.”

More reverentially Troy Mitchell, Max Vitullo sing in Hebrew & English for “Simple Hanukkah Gifts” (Nods to that shaker song ‘Simple Gifts.’) Beautiful.

David Rael regales the gifts he got last Chanukah, but seems to be looking down his nose at the cheapness of the loot with the britpop showstopper “Your Stocking’s Filled with Candy, But a Pencil Sharpener’s Handy.”

Some humor may be beyond us.

Amy Sedaris is so droll, so ironic it’s hard to laugh in her face. She seems like she’d break. You tell me, is her “Snowman Song” from her TV series At Home with Amy Sedaris funny–or die? Do you see me cracking up?

Is it a snowman or a man of the snows? “Santa the Snowman” calls all of it into question and shakes my paradigms like superhero snowglobes (Marvel universe references throughout). Thanks for that, Jacobsen Brothers!

And then there’s the song i cant’ tell if it’s legit kidstuff, or if the gangster references twist it toward the Adult Swim crowd. Try on “Joey the Giant Snowman” and tell me what Keven Boyle’s dealio is, a’ight?

Just as confusing is the 1993 Troma Studios Try Parker movie ‘Cannibal! The Musical’ based on a tragic 1883 Rocky Mt. journey (not over Donner Pass, though). Our entry “Let’s Build a Snowman!” has John Hegel trying to lighten the mood of the desperate men. It’s over quickly enough, but if you can hang on… reprise!

Pop music doesn’t dip its toe in the Arctic Sea for Abominable Snowman songs much.

But try Summer Salt’s boy band/late nite lounge approach with “Abominable Snowman.”

Then there’s garage rock musical theater from the original cast album of ‘Frozty the Abominable.’ Quiz S is credited with the lead-in “The Ballad of Frozty the Abominable Snowman.” Rawr.

And leave us not neglect excellent musical theater from Joe Iconis and Rob Rokicki. “Footprints (The Sasquatch Song)” should be the start of a Broadway baby (entitled, I would hope: ‘Abominable–What You Did to Me’). The pathos, key changes, rising intensity… it’s a mini operetta that you ought not to miss.

Although i try to avoid the heavy metaphors that get way off the solstice/holiday track, some are too thematically on topic to leave by the way side.

Gabe and Lilli Shakouor pity the homeless with a tinny rendition of “The Snow is Falling.” It’s rap set to Pachelbel’s Canon. Oh, NOW you want to hear it?

Victoria Scott also sings out for the underhoused with a hollow tinkling gospel jazz chiller: “Snow is Falling.”

If it’s Yoko, it’s political. “Listen the Snow is Falling” calls for peace, whether or not you get it.

Movietone is atonal jazz with simple declaratives like “Snow is Falling.” So there’s subtext, baby, betcher bottom dollar.

Will Foster complains “The Snow is Falling Down” because he can’t get home fast enough. Country hypertension.

Chris de Burgh makes an anti-war statement with “Snow is Falling” (on our shallow graves). It’s sweeping high orchestral pacifism (hang your heads), so just about right for Xmastime.

Despite the product placement success from Breaking Bad, meth gives little comic relief to Christmas music.

Dan Robertson tries, however, with “Meth Carols.” (Then it gets racist.)

You know there’s slim pickings when I include a ’12’ homage. Let’s Talk Figures go downtown with “The 12 Days of Methmas.” There’s a recipe in there, guys.

So let’s get in our salute to Breaking Bad finally. Animeme has “Do you Want to Build a Meth Lab?” Cartoon pathos! “What’s Meth?” from Callison Slater. In jokes!

Don’t forget the lighter side of cocaine for Christmas! What was it? Oh, here!

Stage Door Guy deadpans a cowboy ballad: “Cocaine for Christmas.” He’s suffering for his art, but it barely shows.

Aleksei Archer reframes “White Christmas” OF COURSE about cocaine. Subtle, unless actually you listen to it. (‘Schnife’?!)

Christ Sampson pokes the hip hop bear with “White Christmas (Cocaine).” It’s not exactly comedy, but it’s not street. More like lane.

Just as unfortunate a rap number is “Ho! Ho! Ho! (It Looks Like Snow)” from White Lightning, P’Zilla and Chinchilla. They can keep a beat. But the moral of the story is: are we famous yet?

Parody hit and misses for cocaine here. “Frosty the Cokehead” by CC Streetz is a near-miss. It’s so sweet. Isn’t it a sweet one? Bob Gautreau does the Jimmy Durante impression for his “Frosty the Blowman.” Look, Mommy, the old man is singing about young peoples’ problems! sibbaldk in a similar vein tries “Frosty the Dope Man.” Tries. Friday the 25th drops a ghetto beat on theirs. Lickety fun. By this point The Funny Hat of America sound old hat.

Bree Essrig & Brett Erlich go to some trouble to ruin ‘Frozen’ with “Do You Want to Do Some Blow, Man?” I say yeah. To the ruination, that is. (Yeah, this is obvious: Doctor Panglos does this, too. And The Tokyo Fever. And some big half naked tatted up guy named Roccy.) (And lounge hagstress Loretta Jenkins killing “Let’s Do Blow” should be overlooked.)