Animation and swearing, it’s like chocolate and tuna fish! They shouldn’t go together, but somehow–
‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ is the easy target here, ‘cuz it’s a musical (duh) and also weirdos like it.
Gamma Secretase plays “Fuck This” as a Madlibs, poking in the swear word for some other word as often as possible. Your laughter levels will tell you how high you are at the moment.
Shorter and more clever (though with direct drug references) is Lord Jazor’s “The F*ck is This?” Yeah, i know, it’s a Christmas movie, not really a Christmas song. Still like it.
Bring on the star holiday abhorer, Scrooge. Dozens of iterations of this iconic humbugger include many apt songs.
1992 featured Anthony Newly frolicking through “I Hate Christmas.” He actually hates all people who celebrate it. Small, significant difference, as that is the actual title of the song.
Keith Ferguson and Bruce Greer lean more heavily on the Dickens text with “Scrooge’s Song” in the 2015 church and high school friendly ‘A Christmas Carol: A New Musical.’ The ‘cast’ Scrooge here makes less hate and more economic disapproval with his singsongy operatic LesMiz prattle.
The Alan Mencken 1993 ‘A Christmas Carol: The Musical’ roils about with the operatic Walter Charles bickering with the hands out in “Nothing to Do With Me.” (Don’t find the Kelsey Grammer 2004 Hallmark adaptation.)
Out of the Ark has their own ‘Bah Humbug!–A Dickens of a Christmas Carol’ with such 2018 assembly-ready kids chorus numbers as “Bah Humbug“–don’t sing hamburger again, Randy, I’m warning you!
Time for kidstuff! Must recap 1962’s ‘Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol’ with the heinous hee-hee of Jim Backus chortling “Ringle Rangle” an ode to coin.
“The Stingiest Man in Town” is the title song from a 1956 TV musical snuck into animation by Rankin Bass in 1978. Here Tom Bosley (a bug) sings about how mean Scrooge (Walter Matthau) is, not necessarily as relates to Xmas. “Humbug” is the better angerpalooza with Dennis Day (Nephew Fred) and Matthau himself. Hatin’ on the St. Nicholas. This is a hoot.
The most fun of the hate is the 1992 ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ with the cast toasting the miserly, stingy, awful “Scrooge.” Michael Caine towering over the little felt guys is so menacing.
“I Hate Christmas Eve” is a half-baked attempt to make a musical out of the ‘Grinch’ story. The whole troupe gets involved here, which is too bad. I had hoped for a bombastic belt-down from the big Kahuna bringing down the house, not a sympathetic kumbaya.
Todd Steed and the Christmas Suns go basement bar live with “I Hate Christmas (Songs)” to their friends and family. Your patience will be rewarded with witty country blues.
Jewish mom Lauren Mayer lectures us from a place of love with “I Hate Holiday Music.” She’ll scream. But first, a melodious show tune.
It’s all a trick! It’a all advertising! It’s all lies! Xmas isn’t real enough. So I’m getting mad.
Singin’ Steve allows Teddy, the cat, to go on and on in “I Hate Christmas.” After the treacly kidsong, he interrupts to pull a Linus true meaning preamble.
On the other genre, Psychostick metal screams out their “Holiday Hate” making every aspect of the season hypocritically horrid. It’s HOW they say it.
Rusty Cage made a name for himself online with his ‘Knife Game Song.’ (He’s got merch.) His “Christmas Knife Game Song” is a muckraking expose of the Christmas con. Whadya gointa do about it, punk? Infectiously bouncy showtune.
Escaping the entire fashion scene is Dan Hart with his light-hearted “Xmas in the Nude.” It’s poppy ragtime. It’s natural.
This doesn’t have to be sexual, you know. Unless you ask Donny Lovering. “Kenny’s Naked Christmas” is on the naughty list. Lounge pop.
Yeah, “Naked Noël (A Naturist Christmas)” by Andy Twyman does that thing with comparing your free swinging bits with food. We’ve done that! But, those Brits laugh at the same thing over and over.
Time to let it all hand out! The Naked Cowboy (Gaetano Lattanzi, Lee Evans) party down with dance and reggae and country and rock and all manner of noise in “Naked Christmas.” Whoa.
You’re not intimidated are you? Big Mess ukes up a lively folk warning about “Naked Santa.” Run doesn’t seem to cover it.
Peter E Clarkson is seething. His frantic showtune “Santa Saw Me Naked” is propounded on mere conjecture. Settle down, man.
Cross dressing for Christmas has some small following.
Bob Rivers does a silly naughty bit, but i like the reimagining of (and new intro for) “Walking Round in Women’s Underwear” by The Stag Party Quartet a cappella. (You know what carol that’s from.)
Robert K Wolf also makes brazen his “Crossdressing for Christmas.” Smoky honky tonk blues, if you can believe that.
Cumberland Sausage Show claims to have caught Santa wearing Mother’s silkies in “Cross Dress Christmas.” Poppy show tune.
A Don’t Hug Me Christmas Carol updates the Dickens into Minnesota, but also allows for a woman ‘they call Bill’ singing about fashionable choices from “Deep in the CLoset.”
The Modern Prosthetix go much more professional and retro rock ballad, with “Facebook Christmas.” He’s never alone, you know, a-whoa-oh-ohhh.
The Perry Brothers favor the stupid, as with their Stupidface and Retarded Policeman series on Youtube (oh, ay, one of ’em preformer’s autistic; is okee). But their “Xmas Txt” is a mediocre callout to the thumby generation. Cards are (somehow) more personal!
The excellent Jon Lajoie lets you know how much he cares when he sends you a Christmas text. “Merry Christmas Exclamation Point” is country rock pop done stone cold ironic.
Just as predictably Kristen Bell fronts Straight No Chaser with “Text Me Merry Christmas.” This was probably a gas several years ago when first sung, but it’s a smug MOR show tune now. Cute.
The classic 2003 Will Ferrell film “Elf” got crammed into a B’way musical 2010. It didn’t get better. But it gave us an okay song about Christmas singing “A Christmas Song” here star-powered by Jim Parsons and Kate Micucci from the 2014 TV special (quaintsy and quirky) as opposed to Sebastian Arcelus and Amy Spanger from the original cast recording below (more chorus, more from the diaphragm).
Todd Steed and the Christmas Suns sing (over the girls playing in front of the camera) a stern folk lesson “I Hate Christmas (Songs)!” Wait, there’s a happy ending (i guess).
My favorite Greensboro pranksters Piedmont Songbag have the bitching in the bag with “Stupid Christmas Songs,” a rambling country pop pisser about the futility of carols. (Love that Bing Crosby imprssion!)
Teresa Fischer belabors the burden of the professional singer told which tune to croon. “Please Don’t Make Me Sing a Christmas Ballad” is a roller coaster of a story with piano pounding, range stretching, and lyrical loopiness luring you to sing-along: don’t!
