Category: rap

Johnny Setlist uses the end-of-the-year times to reflect on how awful it all is. With experimental alt-folk he marches through “This Christmas” as if 2018 was the worst case scenario.

Santa brought us a nuclear attack, begins “On Christmas Day (Happy Holocaust)” by Mr. Strange. Slow and measured metal, like our hearts will be.

Irony smokes “Xmas Next Year,” as Connor Ratliff · Mikey Erg sing about this being the last Xmas. Games and toys over, man. Pokey indie.

The passage of time is a fearsome foe For the decent and the damned, so sings Kaprekar’s Constant wishing you “All You Wish Yourself.” Folk pop of the wishful varietal.

“Song for Santa (Jingle Your Own Damn Bells​!​)” by Sparkbird is an elf’s lament about that miserable taskmaster. Time for representation!

No Funeral is having a particularly bad Christmas, so they want to blame “Dammit, Santa.” Punk-rock with a whining edge. Fights, jail, arson… it’s a tall order for the old guy.

Laid back rap from Bubba Mooch 57 allows that “Damn, It Feels Good to be Santa.” Kidstuff, but adulterated for your listening pleasure.

It’s “Christmas in Fallujah,” children snuggle in their beds While the corpses of their parents dance around in their heads; Palaces and bridges, we burned them to the ground, ‘Cause someone got a contract to rebuild the whole damned town. Jefferson Pepper folk-pops the Hell on Earth to end all.

“Damn, Santa!” is the green-eyed rap from Delu. Lots of questions ’bout how he does it.

Working hard at all the rhymes and near-rhymes for ‘Santa,’ Dan Bull (from a JacksFilms idea) raps out gleefully “Damn, It Feels Good to be Santa.” A wild and profane ride.

Gary Oak slows the rap roll with the wistful “damn I’m Santa (damn, i’m santa).” Reverent.

‘Gee Whiz’ gets a witty update with “Oh Damn It’s Christmas.” J. Anthony Brown parodies with the best of them, while keeping the soul.

Justin Strong newages the sentiment with “Christmas is Here (I’ll be Damned).” He’s trying to woo with this morbidity.

J.T. Hiskey claims he’s “So Damn Happy (Christmas Song).” But mediocre rap set to ‘Deck the Halls’ doesn’t elevate the mood. I mean, damn.

End of the world? What about the end of Christmas?! (Sure, we’ve covered the absence of the holidays, but there’s alway room for nullo.)

The Dimmer Twins (Mick & Keef) worry about the bugs and glitches in “Cyber Santa.” One system crash and it all goes away. American rock.

Christmas has been warped beyond recognition, so Kristie K raps that’s just “Doomsday” now. Slow, but emotional.

Daddy issues in Sniff’n’The Tears’s “Man in a Million.” This folk rock insight to the deadbeat dad offers for his triumphal return a question: Will he be home by Christmas With gifts of pirate gold…?

“Blackbeard vs Santa Claus” from Gridline Rap Battles pits a covetous historical figure against a braggadocio. Little effort to decide Santa wins over pirates.

Lori Mae Hernandez reappears (after rising to the level of America’s Got Talent) with “Yo Ho Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me)” all about Santa’s bathroom habits.

Putting up the tree and mate yanking and swabbing the deck are just some of the “Christmas Time On A Pirates Ship (A Christmas Shanty)” fun-time activities by Cookies and Cream Entertainment (with Derek and Andrew). A rap masked as shanty with a strange Eastern European accent. Yeah, it’s like that.