Category: rap

Parodies’ Paradise: 1991 “Baby Got Back”

Sir Mix-a-Lot caused controversy with his outspoken and blatantly sexual lyrics about women… debuted at number 75 on the Billboard Hot 100… hit number one twelve weeks later… spent five weeks at the top of the chart… the video was briefly banned by MTV… the second best-selling song in the US in 1992… sales of 2,392,000 physical copies that year… 2008, it was ranked number 17 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop.

Christopher ‘The Notorious’ Barnes (Southern California’s Greatest Kids’ Magician) has a little “Santa Got Back” to get you in the giving mood.

Duncan G w/Brian get funky with “Santa Got Gifts.” Look at that package!

Parodies’ Paradise: 1990 “Ice Ice Baby”

Vanilla Ices’ best know song was the B-side to his cover of “Play That Funky Music” (not initially successful). Disc jockey David Morales played it to success: the first hip hop single to top the Billboard Hot 100… topped the charts in Australia, Belgium, the Netherlands, New Zealand, the Republic of Ireland and the United Kingdom… came in fifth in VH1 and Blender‘s 2004 list of the ’50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.’

ApologetiX goes secular with a under-weatherized stranded car during a shopping spree (prayers resulting) in “Nice Iced Pavement.” Where’s the Christ, y’all?

Parodies’ Paradise: 1990 “U Can’t Touch This”

MC Hammer’s signature song was the winner of the Best R&B Song and a Best Rap Solo Performance and the first rap song to be nominated for Record of the Year at the 33rd Annual Grammy Awards in 1991… and won the Best Rap Video and Best Dance Video at the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards… peaked at number one in the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks and on the charts in several countries… hit no. 8 on the Billboard Hot 100… In 1999, MTV’s 100 Greatest Videos Ever Made ranked it at No. 71… October 2000, VH1’s “100 Greatest Dance Songs” rated it at No. 88… May 2001, VH1’s 100 Greatest Videos included it at No. 59… certified gold by 2008.

The Mistletones cover this comically with “Can’t Wrap This.” Pretty. Perhaps too pretty.

Leight Press has gotten most of the mileage from a masterful parody video by someone else. “Can’t Wrap This!” This one’s a keeper.

 

Parodies’ Paradise: 1988 “Wild Thing”

Tone Lōc’s song peaked at number two on the Billboard Hot 100 in… spawned at least two parodies (by ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, called ‘Isle Thing,’ about Gilligan’s Island and was Yankovic’s first rap parody, and by Christian band ApologetiX, called ‘Child King’)… eventually sold over two million copies… peaked at number 21 on the UK Singles Chart.

Not too many of these parodies get the Wikipedia nod. Go ApologetiX. Go “Child King.”

Behold a Star: Winona Ryder

Winona Laura Horowitz had her ’90s in the sun. Her over publicized brush with the law right after her Hollywood sidewalk star let everyone know she was complicated package. Her recent return to cable TV (‘Stranger Things’) has let her play her own messed up self to some acclaim.

Fake Shark Real Zombies has a lovely tango number “Winona Ryder Hates Christmas,” but it’s all conjecture. I’m sure she’s a perfect hostess.

Drink N.B. Merry: nog7

Drinking Christmas from now on is all booze, hooch, and spirits.

Eggnog fully loaded is the beginning of some memorable holiday get-togethers.

Starting out philosophically and stuck with rum, The Morning Squirrels keep one eye on the TV when they explain “The Eggnog Song.” Some killer guitar folking, but mind the memes boys.

Jumping ahead Canned Hamm can barely string their psychedelic pop lyrics together for “Rum and Eggnog.” Head hop holly humping huh what did he say.

Whiskey now for The Rockin’ Guys’ “Eggnog.” Hard, but southern, rocking about the aftermaths of dysfunctional family drinking.

Erica Perry twangs a bit ‘billy with her “Whiskey in My Eggnog.” Not so far gone yet, but anticipating going that far. Girl can sing.

For a change of taste Michael Hackbart, Maurice Johnson, and Elliot Live serve up “Vodka Eggnog.” Dissing whiskey results in some fun rhymes. These are nearly talented, sassy entertainers. I have to give it up for tart over talent.

Sweet Christmas! fruitcake 7

And now the least worst of the fruitcake songs. The nut-laden finale–until we move on to the most popular baked Christmas sweet of them all.

Rum cake gets boxed in here, best portrayed in riddim by The Barefoot Man’s “Rum Cake.” Hic! Nearly is impressive is rumcakes.org’s “Rum Cakes.” Hypnotetically repetitive. And folky. Also mercantiley Lisa of Lisa’s Rum Cakes sings “Lisa’s Rum Cake Song” as a commercial for her seasonal product. Okay.

Back to our featured baked good.

12Stone Worship offers up Xian young men of the hiphop persuasion to praise the Christmastide, while side slamming our target with “Spread Love, Not the Fruitcake.” Fresh (yeah, without the exclamation point, tha’s wha-yime-sighin’). Big mixedmedia finish, though.

I’ve already squiched in Lauren Mayer’s “The Fruitcake That Ate New Jersey.” That was more than a year ago, so another song-story-time for this overbaked orchestration.

Finally a song parody about fruitcake! Master comic-caroler Dave Rudolf growls out “Fruitcakes for Christmas,” to ‘Silver Bells’ elvis style. Okay, mostly fun.

Pretty as twinkling lights is 1000 Clowns mellowly rapping “I Hate Fruitcake” available from all i can tell only on the KROQ Christmas fund-raiser. I don’t begrudge the boys hate when they sing like angels who were high.

Merry Mistletoe: hiphop BLUE ALERT

Rap starts out as scat, right? Louis Armstrong? How about Koreans playing around. eSNa have a “Mistletoe” song that borders on rap. No, what do YOU think?

New the Pharaoh gets the real rap on stage with “Mistletoe.” Female exploitation ensues. And profanity. And carrying on.

Secret wanders around the party to make arrangements with his babe. “Mistletoe Song” is the softer side of rap. He’s going to woo the woman.

T-Rock dopes the rock with “Smokin’ Mistletoe.” It’s flyin’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3DcagyV-Iw

Christmas List: items twenty-four (what else)

Could we have overlooked anything?

Holey Moly yes.

Family – “That’s What I Want for Christmas” by li’l orphan Shirley Temple. It’s from some heart-tugger.

A job – “All I Want for Christmas is a Job” by le Ukulélé Club de Bordeaux (worst audition video ever–WARNING: CONTAINS MARIAH CAREY PARODY) and by Below the Surface (parole plea?).

A black president – MC Overlord. Ahh, nostalgic rappin’ times.

A rock ‘n’ roll guitar – The Stompers overlaying punk onto rock. More originally by Johnny Preston.

A gun – The Vandals with more punkish punk. Ian Yo Yo Yo (Jib Jab Brothers) go urban for the Red Ryder Rifle. (Still preferable to the ‘Christmas Story’ musical version.) Best of the range is Roy Zimmerman’s  “Buy War Toys for Christmas.” Made Demento famous by The Twang.

A bag of weed – Common Enemy (BLUE ALERT). Hard garage rock.

Cancer – Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains. Ah, the young and their guitar banging regrets.

A tan – Kenny Chesney mashes up Hawaiian slide with country drawl. (It’s an all over he’s after, with you dawlin.)

A space ship – Bah & The Humbugs recognize that some intergalactic captains keep getting their rides blasted out from under them.

A Doodle-Li-Boop – Art Carney with authentic drunk-sounding jazz novelty from the ’50s.

A Ting Ting – Billy Ruffian attempts to update this old folk chestnut. (Yeah, more punk influence.)

Swiss Colony Beef Log – South Park boys deliver it again with “Swiss Colony Beef Log;” it’s what a fat kid wants for Christmas.

A new hat – Thots takes it easy on Santa and for that we thank you.