Year-round Yuletide oddities
Whassamaddayew, you act like being bad is All THAT! You DO know you’ll get no gifts this Xmas, doncha?
Oh, and that’s your thing?
Melodic punk from The Reducers: “Nothing for Christmas.” They know it fo’ sho’.
Nick and Gabe play Chris and Chris, “The Christmas Boys.” They’re down with naughtiness and they’ll ‘burb-boy rap you their list o’ crimes. Shudder.
After listening to too many songs about coal for Christmas, i begin to think it might be just a catchphrase or cliche, like ‘dog tired.’ It may just be some more noise to stitch lyrics together.
Skumbags’ “Coal in My Stocking” suffers from poor recording quality, but i think boys just wanna have punk. This song is about how rotten life is. So maybe the metaphor plays well.
Unoway seems also to be bitching, but the electronic smuzhup of rap and R+B in “Coal for Christmas” is just background moodscape for a desperate make out session.
How mad does Santa get at the naughty?
Monkey Men Productions spins us a rumpus room rap about what Kringle bequeaths when out of coal in this homemade “The Santa ‘Coal’ Rap.” Don’t pooh pooh the ideas in this one, kids.
Do kids actually get coal for Christmas? According to the songs, it’s a problem.
What’d I do?! wails The Pipettes in their groovy pop “Getting Coal for Christmas.” If you don’t like it, it’s ‘cuz you weren’t in the audience that night!
Girl pop (’80s style) also whines about “Coal in My Fishnet Stocking.” Palmyra Delran casts about for reasons why this travesty of Jesus’ Day was allowed. I think she blames Santa.
Yarou raps the concern in “Coal,” a mission statement on the intolerance of injustice. Strap in, you’re not gonna wanna missit.
Now for the rough stuff.
“Who Mugged Santa?” does result in some jolly leg cast and merry missing toys. This odd Welsh kidsong from Carlton Lawrence with some dub step beats pulls no punches, or banjo strums–but there’ll be a happy ending if you can just hang on.
Who could throw a better party than St. Nick?!
Les Baxter’s Orchestra has the best standard here with big band beats in “Santa Claus’ Party.” Weee. (We’ve played this before.)
The Incredible Casuals admit the big guy sure knows how to party. Nawrleans down tempo jazzmunching in “Santa’s Gonna Party.”
Johnny Earle resurrects Elvis for “Santa’s Party.” Blues country cool.
Nick & Simon know everybody wants to go to “Santa’s Party.” So they get awfully pop about it.
Top prize at “Santa’s Rap Party” takes home the peppermint microphone. Super Jay gossips about how that jolly old elf is sizing up the ladies at his little get-together. Disco word jazz.
It takes two to tango, and maybe only two to make a warm Xmas party.
R Kelly wants ‘everyone around,’ but the R+B cool here is reserved for his baby. “Christmas Party” is full of orgasmic moaning.
Savanna Cole fronts Going Spaceward with a fun folk pop story of a possible meet cute at “The Christmas Party Song.” Aww, love. Call Hallmark! (But skip the post-song breakdown.)
Take a trip with me to Poke Music to hear Jessica Banks vamping up “Get This Christmas Party On.” Short, sultry, jazzy, seductive: worth it.
“Christmas Party” for Blowfly is all naughty. Disco Motown is non-stop profanity, but it comes to a satisfying end. Santa B Nastee.
Who’s coming to your Xmas party? Is it X?
Bevil Joseph is ridin’ the riddim with the parang “Christmas Party.” Lots of glory hallelujahs and heavenly name-dropping for the loosey goosey gettin’ down.
JustPierre preaches with their rap “Christmas Party.” Ain’t no party like a Holy Ghost party. The after party is Easter.
The chaos and madness of battle can drive us up the Walmart. The War on Christmas has befuddled a few.
“If There’s a War on Christmas (Christmas is Winning)” teeter totters us around the room with gleeful showtune childishness from Lauren Mayer. Oh, yes, she is Jewess. I think that’s part of it.
Macarone sultry raps out “The War on the War on Christmas.” I can dance to it, but i can’t follow the soul train of thought. (BLUE ALERT)
Get your adult coloring books out! Purple Christmas and orange Christmas and grey Christmas–it’s all in song!
Kick off with a bang. Grammarchist gets political with “Mr. Red Christmas” a Communist take on the ‘Year Without’ groovy tune. Make allowances for the experimental nautre of it all and we’ll be fine.
Gary Wu’s “Red Sleigh” is a pretend metal tribute to urban carnage in Santa’s name. Oh, you.
Dr. BLT addresses crop failure with his “Orange Christmas.” We’ll allow it, because of the funkiness therein.
And then he comes back with “That was Before Our Christmas Turned Blue.” The blues. Duh.
Marvin Gaye soothes our blues with “Purple Snowflakes.” Yes, it’s better than John Legend doing it. (Too pretty.)
Back to Dr. BLT with the best in color. “Black Santa” is a spoken word-rapped ‘White’-backed racially tense situation, diffused with humor.