Category: rap

SFG Music presents their “Christmas Dream” as high altitude spirituality. Smells like AI pop.

The hoedown version of this pablum would be Mike Manuel’s “Christmas Dream.” Family, Jesus, and love. Put a bow on that dream.

The Christmas Jug Band have a dream about being There, i mean–you know: THERE! The MANGER! Great honky tonk for “Rockin’ the Nativity Scene.”

Tiffany(SNSD) has her own “Christmas Dream.” but it’s underage prurience. We can dance until we die. Go, dream, go.

Mark and James holler (rap?) about “The Girl of My Dreams” to Santa. Pretty shallow dreaming, bruh.

And Christmas Day… after all that hullabaloo… it’s time to SLEEP!

Bathing Stirrups admits “I Slept Through Christmas Day.” Off key indie actually is spot on for this narcoleptic garage apology.

“All I Want for Christmas is a Nap” is retro pop from Matt Aaron, whining and moaning about the burden that is The Holidays. Danceable, and yet pitiful.

Shark Uppercut is always welcome on the blog, and “Five Past Turkey” sums up the feelings we all know: Tryptophane the light fantastic, you know. Electrono-rap.

How hard is it to corral the kids Xmas Eve?

Annette Funicello and Tommy Sands croon to children “Go to Sleep.” It’s from a sort-of Christmas musical, so it gets in.

“Jingle Jingle Bling Bling” is Youth on Track’s rap about Eve prep. The kids need to sleep gets put on a loop.

Kj52 & Spechouse want to know: Do You Not Know How to Sleep?! in the hilarious parental meltdown “Go to Bed.” Rap fun with Jingle Bells influences.

As others go to sleep, Secret Sinclair’s would like to be “Where You are (Is Where I’d Like to Be).” Hey, i just said that. Lugubrious folk pop.

Cher shares the stage with Stevie Wonder for “What Christmas Means to Me.” Going to sleep is one of those things. Soul stirred pop.

Mista Ben Hood raps it out. “Ready for the Holidays” tells you to Go To Sleep. It’s the reason for the season.

Santa? Is that you?

“Santa Man Comin Down Your Chimney” (Original) by John Band’s Family Ham is a disco garage effort to sneak Krampus into your house.

Birthing Stirrups warns you to COVER UP YOUR CHIMNEY in their electronic ditto machine of “Krampus Grill.” I’ll leave you to get to it.

Scrooge gets fingered in “Krampus in ur Chimney,” an odd mix of movie samples, rap, and silliness from The Snowflakes.

Hey, kids! Look to the skies! Or, if you’re indoors, look to the chimney! It’s Xmas!

“Santa’s Coming Down the Chimney” is ‘O Susana’ from The Golden Orchestra. If you were a kid, you’d like it. Raffi tries this, too. Unplugged!

The Land Band (a dad with kids) welcome the Red Express with their “Down the Chimney” pop kidsong. Pretty straightforward.

Gill Henry Durant raps about being a kid and needing that peek up “The Chimney.” Doubt dissolves with visual evidence. Or was it all a dream?

Again? I overlooked L M Azpiazu’s original “A Christmas Tango” (about celebrating JC’s Bday, when it first posted the updated “A Christmas Tango (With Santa).” Both’re sexy Latin music, only the latter is about fatter men.

Lala Deaton torches up the night before with all her fussing over kissing ‘cuz “I’ve Got a thing for Santa.” Seems he’s got a thing for her as well. Look out.

Throwing Muses has some trouble focusing. In their “Santa Claus” the object of affection reminds me of Santa Claus. Then there’s a lot of running. Wild club indie.

Elfie with the Christmas Workshop Band freestyles the aberrant, lisping “Love You Santa” with abandon. Now we’re getting to the novelty of it all.

Blue Powerade Boys sardonically have a bone to pick with all the crap going on. “I am Samta” seems like the reasonable epicenter of blame. Plucky clucky indie.

Also sus as Big Red is AronChupa & Little Sis Nora’s BLUE ALERT character “I’m the Santa Claoz.” Some fun EDM Euro-pop.

Santa Churn is rapped about in “Winter Wonderland” by Homie Churn (feat. Henry The Barbarian). Some dis and BLUE ALERT bleeping.

Jackie B is the strip club owner in ‘The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical.’ When he lounge lizards the bluesy “Baby, I’ll be Your Santa Claus” you might want to reconsider your life choices.

“Santa Bibby” is also rapped about this time by K Bibbles. He seems nicer.

1954 keeps twangin’ along with Eddy Arnold (And His Guitar)’s “I’m Your Private Santa Claus.” It’s a love declaration, not a military incursion.

Mikael Englund & Árpád Solti go the showtunes route with the bombastic “One Night Santa.” Humblebrag.

Nasal rockabilly (y’know like Elvis) from The Refreshments declares “I’m the Real Santa.” Dy-no-mite.

A confused playa, the narrator of “Christmas 2023” raps modulatedly from Birmingham Lordson. You have to appreciate the gifts! It’s my way or the highway.