Again, we understand that with the passing of Hallowe’en: No more witches flying brooms, no devils eating flames; All I see when I look up is 12 reindeer with Santa’s sleigh. So rocks Twilight Creeps with “Poison in the Mistletoe.”
Pastor Ned leads Canned Panda through “Devil Went to the North Pole.” Yeah, it’s Charlie Daniels karaoke twisted up for Something Awful.
The Ornaments of Bowling Green dramatize “The Devil’s Nativity” wherein ol’ Nick (not that one, the other one) visits The First Christmas. With goth-y folk it becomes clear, he’s not impressed.
Allen Mask (feat. Dave Rosser, Lev Wilson & Carlina) has trouble with crazy womens. In “Maybe Then” he raps Is this just Merry Christmas For them demons in you? or will you listen to reason.
BLUE ALERT macexface raps about elf massacre and Santa horrors, inviting Boys and girls come out and see The demons that come out christmas eve. “I Don’t Wanna die on Christmas Eve” is a deal with the inner devil.
Mike Larson and Allison Iraheta sea shanty a yarn ’bout a little demon who gets all hepped up for a Christmas celebration in “Tinsel & Brimstone.” He LOVES Father Christmas, the wayward soul.
Horses or cows or, more likely, goats with hooves and a horn up front have inspired our imagination for centuries, especially if you’re an eight-year old girl. Let’s play.
Country schlock from Tiny Totz Kidz celebrates the arrival of “The Christmas Unicorn” to do what Rudolph couldn’t–light Santa’s way. Huh?
Kidsong wonders Wouldn’t it be great to be The jolliest unicorn of the sea? in “It’s a Narwhal Christmas.” Had to include it.
Still more girlishness from Claudia Robin Gunn about the helpful “The Xmas Unicorns.” They help with magic magic, magic magic. They also fly. [Her “Jingle Jangle Magic” also entertains, this time with unicorns AND trolls AND witches AND pixies AND more…..]
Quarantined malaise is reflected in the “Depressed Unicorn Christmas Song.” Kevin Drew leads us away from kids’ pap to more nuanced pop morphing into soul. Whoa.
Fraine River recounts with fine folk pop how fairy tales with Pegasus and “Unicorns” will help children believe in things like true love, even on Christmas Day. Don’t harsh my dumb, bro.
Old timey sailors had it even harder. For Christmas.
1980s pop (with a gospel influence) may not be ancient, but Goombay Dance Band’s “Christmas at Sea” is about a simpler time. The tragedy is not being with family. That’s pretty much it. But you can dance to it.
Meg Davis runs over octaves with her classic operetta offering “Christmas at Sea.” It hurts to hear about it.
Old fashioned folk/country from Lloyd Snow brings in a Celtic influence. “Christmas at Sea” is frothy and light, but that’s only the foam floating on top. Its depths’ll kill.
Let’s bring ’round the professionals: sailors. For Christmas.
Skinny Lister has a hornpipe of no little merit hailing the setting of sail, and also of the return: Home again for Christmas “If the Gaff Don’t Let Us Down.” So big party when not drowned. It’s dance-inducing.
Homeward bound for the holidays, still the sailor spends Christmas in a harbor on the boat. Jeff Brown’s “Sailor’s Christmas” is nearly romantic, but the harsh harmonica in this breezy folk rock recalls us the hard times. (Yeah it’s Jimmy Buffett‘s song. So what.)
The same year The Titanic went down, so did the Christmas tree schooner Rouse Simmons. This was The Great Lakes, and the German tradition of trees for the holidays (free for the poor) was in full swing. The lore of this particular joy-bringer being lost has inspired many a sailor’s yarn.
Paul Behrend narrates and warbles “The Christmas Ship.” If you wanted to know what happened, poetical-like, here’s the folk-pop verzh.
The Patrick Brothers attempt pathos by stretching out every syllable and note in the folky “The Christmas Ship.” The flute makes it ghostly, too. But it becomes maudlin.
Mike Aiken applies more pop to his Carib maritime melody “Christmas Schooner.” It’s all upbeat here. Nobody sinks. The music, on the other hand, causes sleepiness.
Oh Papa, come look, shanties Lee Murdock in “The Christmas Ship.” The glory of the great sailing actually overshadows the tragedy here, a fine memorial.
Novelty relief oars in from Claire Margaret Corlett who only wants to kill herself “This Christmas Eve.” The flapper-style jazz is a cute contrast to lyrics like: I wanna slit my throat, or get eaten by a goat, Or tie myself up and drown slowly in a boat. (Ha ha?)
Success measure by excess: Christmas? Skiing in the Alps! Summer? Caribbean nights! Ice of Neptune pounds out the beat with “On Sale,” a rocker of a diatribe ‘gainst capitalism. Eat the rich (foods).
Also fronting, the protagonist of Glenn Frey’s “Big Life” claims: Right now we’re flying over some land I own–Yeh, that’s Aspen right down there; I go skiing there at Christmas time With Don and Jack and Cher. Bouncy pop with an edge.
Juliet Lyons is not as impressed: All my friends, they love getting big gifts: Starting out in June they’re dreaming long lists, Designer clothes, a skiing trip… But in the jazzy pop of “You’re My Christmas” she only wants you. Period.
Ray Conrad’s “A Skier’s Daydream” is awfully old fashioned fiddlin’ about the mountains back home. With lotsa snow. Wistful. But. iff’n you likes that, i highly recommend the entire album, The Cotton-Pickin’ Lift Tower and Other Skiing Songs. Picking and grinning and poling. Great stuff.
Kicking off with a ‘Better Off Dead’ sound bite, “Ski Slope” from Cute Aesthetics mines the bebop walk beat of ’80s attitude movies for a never-ending stroll down wintery lane.
Patient Corgi fuses ’80s electronic action movie soundtrack with primal rhythms for “Ski or Die.” It slaps.
“Bikini Skiing” seems to be about dating, or at least getting past third base, on the alpine decline. Waterlaso threads getting hot and heavy around a rather insistent alt-rock beat. Might as well dance.
Chad Mitchell Trio folk-spins the tale of “Super Skier.” While a parody (of The Kingston Trio’s “M.T.A“) spoofing the pop folk iconoclasm of the time (1961), this grisly saga is too upbeat to believe. (Bob Gibson’s gory sequel–to ‘Battle Humn of the Republic’–“Super Skier’s Last Race” might be ironic. Oh heck, his album Ski Songs is worth a whirl.)
Excellent surf rock from Suffering Fools tells the tale of “Santa’s Going Skiing.” It’s strictly recreational. Though he is a master.
Paul Kopetko’s “Skiing Yeti Mountain” is background music for the 16-bit video game. It’s an electronic throwback to the ’80s. Tubular.
Dan Reeder’s “Skiing Song” is supposed to be a song about skiing, but his existential blues distract the message. Lovely gentle folk. About Skiing. Sort of.
Frank Yankovic reels us back with ski poles-ka (doesn’t quite work, does it?) in the hoot and a half “Let’s Go Skiing.” Step-by-step accordion supervision.
