Category: folk

Baby It’s Coal: ore not

We’re well out of coal for Christmas ideas for novelty songs, so let’s say NO to coal.

Les Barons slow bluesrocks ‘a Krampus song’ about how there’ll be “No Coal in My Stocking Tonight.” This psychological investigation into what you think of him is a bit scary.

Chandra Knudsen gets emo maudlin about getting YOU “Instead of Coal.” She doesn’t seem to believe in Xmas, but she ranges her pop all over the folk chords diva-style.

Baby It’s Coal: judgment

The threat of coal in your Christmas stocking measures a culmination of your evils set on a balance ‘gainst your goods.

Mocking those with Christianity on their lips but not in their hearts, Delores Dagenals almost apologetically strums out the folk denouncement “Stockings Full of Coal.” Yeah, you better listen!

Also turning the lump of coal story on its ore, David Dondero folk rocks us the tale of the tormented trannie who inspires us to fling the middle finger to those who have purported this intolerant age. How do you like them briquettes, the man? “Samantha’s Got a Bag of Coal” only touches on a Christmas tradition without being a true carol, but please sing along for the spirit of the season. Thank you.

Yee Haw-liday: equal ranch amendment

Now that girls have been mentioned, let’s allow they can ride and rope and rape the environment like their white counterparts.

The English Brothers pick and grin and yodel up a bit of fun with “Cowboy and Cowgirl Christmas.” Cattle’s out of the bag.

Nevada Slim and Cimmaron Sue depict the hard life of a “Cowgirl’s Christmas.” She’s all alone, you see, so it’s tough. Quiet, unplugged pathos.

Well, let’s welcome them back for a more upbeat wanna-be dream. “The Cowgirl who Lost Her Jingle” is the bouncy tale of a li’l one who outgrew her boots. Don’t fret, we’ll wrangle a happy ending out of this muddle (no, it’s not sexist, i swear).

Born this Day, twenty-five (King of Kings)

A birthday song can just be Hey. Even for the Messiah. I mean, hosannah.

You may have caught Nassiri earlier here with his opulent routine “Happy Birthday Jesus.” Raga just opens up more possibilities.

Kurtis Parks and friends folk around with happiness and the whole nativity story in “A Christmas Birthday.” Kids all sing along ‘cuz it’s fun.

Born this Day, sixteen (Newton 1)

Celebrating the opposite of faith, some kids observe the birth of Sir Isaac Newton on twelve/twenty-five. I say kids ‘cuz so many students make music videos for extra credit in their physics class.

For example Francesca DiMare and Mary Pyrdol jumping a lot to ‘JBells’ and singing out “Newtonmas.” There oughta be a law, or three.

An original (short) amateur bit celebrates “Newtonmas SOTU 305.” Pabrizzer is an Australian ukulele maestro and senior member of Ukulele Underground who conjures short sweet oddities (i suppose SOTU is Song of the Universe, not State of the Union).

Born this Day, five

Jim Beloff is the entrepreneur of Flea Market Music a movement to put a ukulele in every pot by Christmas. His own music, in the case of “When You’re Born on Christmas Day,” is a smash-up of folk, blues, pop, and something that always feels Hawaiian to me. Nice noodling on the little box, but also nice imagining about the other holiday-birthday coincidences. Just celebrate, mate!