Polysomnography: Morpheus-time

Daniel Worth lets his freak flag fly in “Stay in Bed for Christmas.” See, he doesn’t like family, and can’t afford presents, and–i suspect–is just tired of it all. So, Why Get Up? It’s that simple. Unplugged folk.

Mother, what is Santa doing in your bed?” asks Tony Green Orchestra with a hard backbeat and an insouciant pop air. Pass.

BW Johnson reveals the most sexy bedtime activity… acceptance of all peccadilloes! “Socks in Bed” is what he wants, especially during the holidays. Folk get used to it.

Polysomnography: Lullaby.20

Can i get another holiday in here? The Jewish Wedding Band advises you to close your eyes and gently drift away–so you won’t be sad the eight nights are over! Ritualistic “Low She Lies.”

Perhaps Ryan Miscilak’s more plaintive “Hanukkah Lullaby” suits your mood more for this Jewish observation. The candles are supposed to dispel the darkness, you know.

Not to get all Wiccan on you, but “Winter Solstice Lullaby” might leave out Christ. Jan Garrett + JD Martin unspool Celtic balm to remind us Heathens need sleep, too.

Jackie Oates brings us to the frigid North with “Wexford Carol.” Loolays and bare hollow sounds create an environment that needs soothing.

Claiming to use a music box as backbeat, Grandma Mikie heps the folk harmonies with her “Christmas Lullaby.” A better sing-along than a calming influence.

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We’ve tipped the hat to the old hymn “The Silver Stars are in the Sky” to honor stars. But it IS a lullaby. So let’s see how Janet Seidel hits the jazz club diva target for this Big Choir Number.

Skirting the topic, the rather well known lullaby “All Through the Night” (NOT the Cyndi Lauper hit) is tangentially X-mas, though it is 18th Century Welsh harp music. It sneaks into plenty of X-mas albums, however, so let’s allow the modern soul adaptation from Chevon and Flagstone. They can barely keep up, so overwhelmed with reverence are they. Love it.

Another lesser known ‘standard’ of Christmas carols is “Still Still Still,” the 19th Century Austrian folk tune. Usually a Big Number with the church choir, it prefer the low down and dirty honkytonk routine from The Lower Lights (or the jazz club bit from Shay Estes).

Ruben & Marlaina Garcia wield monotony and panpipe to slumberific effect in the loving and weaving “Christmas Lullaby.” Good stuff.

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Childsong from Willie Sterba mixes tremolo with admonition and dreamscape for a “Christmas Lullaby” you might want to forget. (Mention the gifts, Willie!)

Not clear on Olivia Newton-John fronting for Mannheim Steamroller’s “Christmas Lullaby.” That’s a pretty sexy warble for the tikes.

A Christmas Lullaby” from Rob Falsini is the song a dad troubadours to the kids to get them to calm down 12/24 20:59. A bit of rock, but not of rocking.

Sara Ernst misses the mark, too, with coffeehouse ukulele and country twanging hallelujahs in “Christmas Lullaby (The Angel’s Song).” (Read the room, girl!)

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A nice turn of The Nativity from Smalltown Poets in their indie ballad: “Christmas Lullaby.”

This Christmas Lullaby” from Michael Sheahan is a boisterous Celtic dance number about how welcome you are. Sleep tight.

Bruce Enloe is also a bit pushy with “A Christmas Lullaby.” This folk strummer is a stern reminder what’s at stake for the sleeping/not sleeping choice. (Scat bridge!)

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Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin’ Tonight” ya dig? Rocky Sharp does. Blues! (Not to be confused with “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’” by Albert King. Tha’s smoove.)

Ms. Jody might not intend “Humping Santa” to sound as sexy it does (he works hard, has a bent back…), but never mind. I feel the heat from this soul.

JMaq raps about those lonely urges from our hero in “Get It.” A psychological peek behind the curtain.

In Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains’ “Jingle Jingle” the gifted one is only looking for a girlfriend. He’s courting, if clumsy. Fun folk.

Could It Be… Santa?!

Santa is The Big Man. So, wouldn’t you wanna be like that? Gonzo and Fozzie tearfully croon “I Wish I Could be Santa Claus.” It’s a lesson, showtune style. This was Paul Williams penned, so it WAS nommed for an Emmy.

Jacobsen Brothers know all their last minute shopping problems would fly away with one wish–“I Wish I was Santa Claus” they croon with slick lounge-y pop. And they’d give out more wishes–Like the Wizard of Oz!

Performed by Sumus Vulgus and based on the Kinks’ 1967 song ‘David Watts,’ “I Wish I could be Like Santa Claus” kicks retro pop in the elbow.

Gastronomical Unit returns to covet the power in “Santa to Be.” This folk anthem is deep and shaggy (as in dog). Love it.

Guess Who? (Santa)

Parlovr’s “I’m Santa” overplays the garage uniqueness into head bobbing gonzo oblivion. I mean, what th–?

Chevon & Flagstone lecture us in “I Am Santa Claus.” Spoken word haughty teaching that goes as far as World Peace.

More spoken word from another cultural landslide, which leads into the sultry club blues “just remember i’m santa claus” (2015 r3 mix). Star Wars meets the garden department.

Jeremih & Chance the Rapper soothes our concerns with “I’m Your Santa.” Soul to the rescue. (Dance moves given, no extra cost.)

Andrew X is strumming and folksong asking for a little faith when he proclaims (Elvis-style) “I am Santa Claus” and he was working late last night.

It’s-a Me, Santi-o!

Time to turn the mic over to our Guest of Honor and hear what Santa Claus has to say for himself!

Worth another listen: Arrogant Worms wakes up to find “Oh God, I’m Santa Claus!” A descent into pop music madness.

The Oley Project rock moderately in the tell-all “I am Santa Claus.” Not much new here: lazy, cold, lonely.

More industrious is the embodiment from Christmas Workshop Band (feat. Elfie). “I’m Santa” is a folk amateur mess, but what a beat!

Just as folk kitschy, Ben & Tucker allow the big man to narrate his gift-giving adventures in “Santa Now!” The low-key enthusiasm is key to selling this strummer. Then I becomes WE. Mystical.

Coal Man – mildly blue alert

How mean can Santa get? “Santa Sneezed on Me” recalls Matt Farley (aka The Toilet Bowl Cleaners). It results in a criminal prosecution. The blues.

Santa Gaga” is a parody by reubennase that aims to frighten with a little BLUE ALERT, a little talentless rock, and a little graphic imagery.

Lil Poverty Angels does their odd spoken jive rap improv thing to scare us with “I Heard Santa’s a Blood” (he calls it Crips-mas!) as well as “Drive by on Santa’s Sleigh” BLUE ALERT.

The Electric Amish are pretty scared when “Parson Klaus is Coming to Town.” The tune is an old carol, but the concept is adorbs.

Bragging about their crappy music since 1988, Wheelchair Full of Men wishes revenge ‘cuz “Santa Claus Hates Me.” Experimental (or just mental) jazz with a scarily quiet intensity.

Go Slowpoke is mad as Noel and not going to take “Shit from Santa” anymore. That crotchety old so and so. Lovely folk with fab kazoo bridge.