Is it just so wonderful to see all them again with love in their hearts and gifts in their laps? Are you turning to mush inside?
David DeBoy comedy brags about the family with the “Flegman Family Christmas Letter” using easy listening oomph. Ha!
Ritchie Remo seesaws his pop country doggerel into “Christmas Family.” I include this ‘cuz of the touch of killer fiddle and purdy tenor, but background only….
Just as metronomic, Lizzie West and Baba Buffalo praise/miss the warm hearth with their “Family Christmas.” Earnest folk tearjerking.
Nicholas Cunha plays the good son card with the well meant and talented “Family (An Original Christmas Song.” It’s serious as a loaf of bread.
Without the holidays you might never wad the kidlings into the SUV and trek all the way over to the ‘rents. It’s so much work to see ’em get older and more clueless; it’s so draining to put up with their expectations and judgments.
So here’s to the family! Love/hate ’em! And then turn into ’em!
Each day of this month we’ll listen to songs that thrive in the lap of mommy & daddy and then pit them against songs that howl about the dysmerogenetic dysfunctional dementia from the descendants. Winner takes all for 24hrs.
The Dropkick Murphys have already blessed us with “The Season’s Upon Us.” The unkind kin are trotted out celtic punk-style like unwashed laundry flags. Oi.
Buttered corn from 1959 serves up Dennis Day fresh from The Jack Benny Show warbling “Christmas is For the Family.” More listing, almost all the way over, but this time about the fun activities that bring big, fat smiles to all.
Deadly serious, the winner is the cover of that same cheese by The Christmas Crickets, released the same year, but rereleased–now with irony–in 2011. Ladies and generalists, i give you “Christmas is For the Family” insect infestation.
Oh, there’s a song or two about wanting my baby back for Christmas. Let’s touch on the treasure trove of time-travel wishes.
O.B. Buchana smooves the soul with “Santa Bring My Baby Back.” It’s almost hypnotic with insistency. Then there’s the deep bass Barry-White one-on-one with Santa at the end.
Girl rock from Glam Skanks also asks those who can to “Bring My Baby Back for Christmas.” More into the guitar solo than the romance, you ask me.
Country blues from Seckond Chaynce listing the wants/needs for Xmas. “Santa Just Brang Her Home” he drawls, just Jesus won’t.
Alexandra Lawerentz infuses pop into the country blues so all’s that’s left is pop. “Bring My Baby Back (for Christmas)” is just crying to the music. (The zombie reinterp video accompaniment is sufficiently odd enough to warrant a wink and a nod.)
Owen Adams goes easy listening with a soft pop “Christmas Wish” hoping she’ll come back. This is the cornpone you’ve been looking for.
My collection of Xmas (about USA) songs was a mishmash of odd references. Couldn’t tell if i was saluting or kneeling. (Aren’t those both reverential?)
Take Brian Kinder’s “Fruitcake” song that invokes the founding fathers. What in the name of children’s music is that?
The Hamilton parody on Rudolph was so good, Six13 returns with a Hanukkah Hamilton, entitled “A Hamilton Chanukah.” Tangentially American. Wait, The Maccabeats do this, too? Theirs is called “Hasmonean.”
Biting the hand, Johnny Setlist pushes 1st Amendment limits with a BLUE ALERT bit o’ the irony “Christmas in America (Every Single Day).” Folkabilly that hits that mandolin hard, mocking by protesting too much in honor of.
Just as funning, F. Lobot intones ‘The Night Before’ to the karaoke of ‘Star-Spangled’: Yes, it’s “The Star-Spangled Christmas Tree.” Stand up, godammit.
What i DID not pursue that first iteration was that political ping pong tournament of Dems v. Reps. You want that hairpulling, read whichever news appeals to you. But i have found an irreverent easy listening country piece about how both sides should get along for the holidays. It’s BLUE ALERT time, so take a tranq, get comfy, and listen patiently to Red State Update’s “Divided Nation Christmas.” (It’s like ten years old, so historical… and what’s the saying about tragedy + time = comedy…?)
Yeah, i bit off more than i could chew thinking i could find a Christmas song about each other month of the year. Only set aside half a month to do this three years ago.
Found some more.
The tough nut was March and April. Little did i know Benny Goodman had this covered with his smooth “Santa Claus Came in the Spring.” It’s a standard. How do i NOW know? ‘Cuz of the covers–Mark Shane’s Xmas All-Stars grind it up, Jeudi gypsies it up, Putney Dandridge fronting Johnny Mercer jazzes it up (like bands did in 1935).
Half the off-date songs about Christmas are in July. So here we go. Therapy Sisters swill down some steamy honky tonk with their “Christmas is July.” Highly recommended.
Piedmont Songbag leans into the jazzy heat with “Santa in July.” More than highly recommended.
The New Anxiety gets jittery with “Christmas in July in December” ‘cuz, you know, climate change. Damn. Why bother celebrating or loving one another? Pop folk. Slightly recommended.
K-Drama raps out his joyous reckoning “All Year Long.” No, it’s not an excuse to leave the decorations up!
Salsa bet-up pop from Midwest Merry Makers brings us “Christmas All Year Long.” More brotherhood for its own sake. Yea.
Some of this foreplay for the holidays is tortured and awkward. I’ll just fall asleep waitin’ up for Santa.
5 Alive (a BOY BAND) fist pump the hint while making kissy face and moaning pop music for “Sex this Christmas.” Baby, if you believe it’s not the meat it’s the melody, then puddle up for these jailbaits.
Future Rama uses the riddim method to have “Christmas Sex.” Smooth yet syncopated talk. I’m guessing….
The king of maladies, the doomsday diagnosis, the terminal terminology this is the big C. Not Christmas (although the latter does get the capitalization). Two cs together and you have 2cc of uncomfortable song.
First off, Johnny Hobo and The Freight Trains punk up the idea “I Want Cancer for Christmas” BLUE ALERT by refusing joy and hope with a blazing middle finger to life. (I’ve posted this before, and there’s no actual mention of cancer in it… but meager pickings. And it’s catchy. And there’s a dozen covers by fans online.)
Balancing out the anger is the schmaltz of Carolyn of the Choir with “Pink Christmas,” a jazzy siren song sentimentalizing the survival of it all.
Okay, we went all that way so i could share Double Plus Good with you. This Something Awful contribution, “Cancer for Christmas,” stands alone in its MOR orchestration, country caterwauling, and ironic horribleness. It might ruin you. (‘Santa’s taking Grandpa to Heaven in his sleigh.’)
If you’re not preggers for Christmas, perhaps you’re moody, pre-menstrual. Peter Kevoian for Bob and Tom carols our way through “PMS for Christmas.” No, no, it’s not a sickness… just not tip top, you see. Healthwise. Hrm, i’ll just stop talking now. No, you’re fine.
Who else is sick this time of year? Ready of jerking of tears?
A fine Red-Sovine-style ‘Teddy Bear’ parody, “Sick Cripple Christmas Baby” by Red State Update, tells the story of a terminal child. Or is it?
Kyle Dunnigan trowels on the comedy/tragedy with “My Baby Lamb has Christmas Cancer.” This baby-voiced dirge runs the gamut of attempting humor. Certainly pings the odd meter at the top. (Yes, it’s about a pet lamb.)
Let’s revisit Red State Update for more absurd commentary on our mad world. According to them, Santa needs to be reassured that he can visit ALL on his list, even those suspected of highly contagious conditions. “Dracula Doesn’t have Ebola this Christmas” is pretty much what it claims to be, with saucy pop seriousness. Et in terra pox hominibus bonae voluntatis.
The stresses of Christmasses may lower one’s ability to robustly fend off gramma kisses, fruitcake offers, and viruses.
Or we just want more attention than JC is getting.
So we might express our ill health a tad more emphatically than we experience it.
Red State Update present a poor sufferer unable to join in the tidings “Too Sick for Christmas.” Genius redneck traditional easy listening. [Why is he singing from inside a bowl of popcorn? Why not!]
