Year-round Yuletide oddities
Suo Gan’s “Welsh Christmas Lullaby” retells JC’s arrival with a slow tempo and lots of recorder. In two languages.
Amati Bros. stop the sleep and sail into blues with “A Christmas Lullaby for Me.” It’s moving, mushy, AND meta.
“A Christmas Lullaby” by Louisa Manuel peels off the softness and revels in jazz diva-ship. It’s a country warbler full of love and uncertainty.
There should only be ONE hole in your Xmas stocking, neh? The one on the top, where the goodies go in. But–
Blame ranges from moths to mice, but “A Hole in My Christmas Stocking” energizes Liz Anderson to do something about it. Before it’s too late! Kidsong with odd instrumentation.
Pat Boone steps up to the topic with “The Hole in the Stocking.” See, this kid got so much last year (it IS a lot), it wore out the fabric. But, our easy listening experience takes a Christian turn. Wait for it–
Echoic country comedy (baZing! boi-oi-oing!) from Dave & Jeanine advises “Don’t Hang Your Stocking with a Hole in It.” Good for a two-step or two.
And sometimes, ol’ Red Suit is a home wrecker.
Jackie West (with Billy West) interrupts a wife-stealing “Santa Santa.” Knives are drawn, windows are violated, shotguns appear… the usual. Folk by way of Jamaica.
George Jones saw “Mom and Santa Claus” twisting that night. He had a look in his eye. Pop country from ’62, so it’s all innocent i’m sure.
At the bar Bill Mader’s old lady ran off with That Guy, so–in appropriate country fashion–he sings “Beer Humbug.” Catchy.
“Santa’s Misbehavin’” when faced with a scantily clad recipient in Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp’s country howler. … and Mrs. C found out!
Santa’s creepin’!
Santa got caught smoochin’ around and got smacked a bit. “Santa’s Movin’ On” ‘cuz of it (and for other reasons) according to Homer and Jethro. Folksy country.
“Santa’s Got a Wish List” is classy R+B euphemism from J. Anthony Brown. It’s food oriented, so, you know.
Rich Evans claims, with dirty blues, “Santa Knows Where All the Bad Girls Go.” Apparently it’s on some list.
Andrea Gower country rocks the children’s tale “Big Bad Wolf Santa.” He’s on the hunt, so keep your receipts!
Keep it in your pants, St. Nick!
Lil Poverty Angels rap and rattle “Santa’s Got Side Chicks.” Don’t blame the playa, blame the beard.
MANNURSE X YUNG FREETHROW (FT. DRAKE) chat, rather than rap, through “Ho Ho Ho.” Many inappropriate gift ideas are listed. Let’s continue.
More rap parody from jennyinstereo who portrays a hounddawg Santa with a trail of conquests and STDs in “Christmas Back.”
Daniel Dennis starts with kidsong, but “Santa Wants a Ho Ho Ho” sneaks pop country into the indelicacies of the North Pole.
The “Santa Blues” include a loss of faith and not getting left the good beer, according to The Last Dregs. Swinging for the blues.
Skar de Line satirizes the need to worship the holidays (with a solo by Tsar Santa) in “Another Bloody Christmas.” Oi.
Yeehaw from The Oakridge Boys, fiddling up “Santa’s Song.” Now that’s (midcentury) country!
Ironic country from Albert Fishing Trip infuses blues to the down home in “Santa Claus Can Survive.” Earthy stuff.
The idea of an unhappy Santa was not created by Father Guido Sarducci, but his “Santa’s Lament” discos up some fine comedy. Remember, he hates Jell-o.
Johnny Setlist has some confusion with the Fresh Prince when Mr. Christmas meets a child at the N. Pole in “Santa’s Christmas Rap.” What what!
“Santa’s Lament” by way of Fm Smith & Rob Bonaccorsi is a bar-fueled set of sloppy blues. Santa lonely! Not jolly!
Noisecult’s “Santa’s Lament” begins with the disgruntled naughty calling for Claus to DIE, but complicated the issue with Father Xmas calmly addressing the issue in metal.
Charlie William Boyd’s “Long White Beard, Red Suit (Santa’s Lament)” is country complaining. The cops, the wife, the kids… it never ends. And he’s not even the real deal.
How do you manage the whole Christmas machine? Good boss or mean boss? Time for a struttin’ Neil Young parody! “Southern Claus” by Pity Rally might answer some of these questions.
“Santa’s Elven Slave Trade” by Aristocorpse screeches metal accusations at that holly jolly soul. Do you believe? (Feeding their young to the reindeer!?)
With a kickass drumlin Gatsby’s American Dream challenges “St. Nicholas” to a duel of honor. He’s gotten away with too much! Metal match!
Richard Sponaugle hair rocks “St. Nick’s Sweatshop” with an axe to grind.
The Rattlesnakes American rock “Santa Kicks My Boss in the Ass,” turning the bellicosity of Old man Winter to good.
The Plastic Invaders mod rock the question/answer “(Who’s the Boss?) Santa Claus.” Almost comes off cool. Still the boss, though.
Average Friend calls out grievances to “Santa Boss.” Rollicking rock to organize those little workers.
Chuck Picklesimer jams country rock heavily for “I was a Slave for Psycho Santa Claus.” Scary stuff (hee hee)! Spaceship escape?
Worth repeating: From The Trailer Park Boys, Bubbles & The Shitrockers BLUE ALERT react badly to bad gifting with the country twangin’ “Dear Santa Claus Go Fuck Yourself.” So mad they’re giggling.
More BLUE ALERT from the disgruntled Dan Warren. While traumatized from being good not equalling the goods, he hurls insult and invective North Pole-ward, including “Santa Claus Lives Alone.” (That’s ‘cuz no one likes him.)
The Armenian Comedian (from the old Kevin & Bean Show) allows that some will blame Santa, but he lousy-raps “Don’t Blame Santa.” Then, scat.
Perhaps a bit of guided instruction would help. The Jeff Archer Group kid-rocks (hard) “I’d Love to Go to Toys-R-Us with Santa.” Doesn’t even matter that they’re closing out stores anymore. It’ll show Mr. Claus what is what.
Flooded Cellar makes an Indian Giver out of the old guy when, due to a clerical error, he now wants to take back all your unearned toys. American country rock notifies that “Santa Claus been Writing Me Letters.” You have 30 days to comply.
Worth repeating: I’ve before shared Mono Puff cover of “Careless Santa” but it’s really a They Might Be Giants number. It’s give and be taken.
James Brown stylings are unique. So is his “Santa Claus Santa Claus.” Please don’t make him suffer so. You’re his only hope.
Little Charlie & The Nightcats dish out a bucket of blues with their “Santa Claus.” Please stop by his house today. He’s got needs.
Aaron Schubert is asking for something better than “A Ho Ho Hobo’s Christmas.” Not having to eat half a rat, or a new box…? Throw him a bone already. A cappella amateurism.
Professional a cappella comes straight from Straight No Chaser who’re calling out “Hey Santa!” to catch a ride to their baby in Dixieland.
Sharna-Mae & the Mayhems rockabillies the request (oddly similar to the Cashes’ ‘Jackson’) “We’re Off to See Santa.” I see this working out just fine.
Scott Andersen takes the country challenge: still wants to be man, but “Wrote a Letter to Santa” to get his baby back as well. Not sure this’s gonna work, bubba.