Year-round Yuletide oddities
Perhaps you have a good reason for being “sick”? What if you had to work?!
“Calling in Sick at Christmas” doesn’t hint at what awful occupation Harley and the Hoggbites are dodging. Who’s out there? Police, firefighters, air traffic controllers, doctors… nobody important we can’t do without. Nasal country honky tonk.
The thing about camouflge clothing–remember where you put it!
The sadness of serving is missing family, and some times are worse than others. So here comes country western to make you cry harder. (I’ve mentioned most of these afore.)
Let’s try “Camouflage and Christmas Lights” by someone new, the Duck Dynasty crew. Maudlin scene building of what it’s like over there with slow honky tonk.
Jenny Brown sings “Camouflage Christmas” missing her soldiering other. Tender country twanging, soaring angelic vocals. Gives the other boys jealousy.
Is this new? Michelle Lombardi pushes hard her “Christmas in Camouflage,” a pop country family sing-along. Slick sentiment.
Here’s one i know i haven’t mentioned: Slidawg & The Redneck Ramblers twist the sentiment to white trash comedy with a parody of ol’ yule ‘Blue Christmas’ into “Blue Camo Christmas.” Seems like ol’ Jethro was out inna woods huntin’ when he missed the holidays….
Underneath it all, we start the ensemble.
Courtney Stoddard has already described the “Mistletoe Bikini” of legend. Worth a second lick.
Considerably more family friendly, “Pink Panties, The Christmas Song” deals with presents (more later). Mark Scherbel spins a country tale of such decorous decorativeness, however, it must be visited here. Charming.
The best tribute to those novelty noel naughty underthings comes from Kacey Jones. Country comedy called “I’m Down to My Christmas Underwear” does not address that actual time of year, but the quandry concerning those things you won’t wear–ever.
The season is upon us… what to wear?! (Spoiler alert: it’s going to be mostly ugly sweaters and Santa suits.)
First off–what’s the weather outside (frightful?). Then we recommend “Winter Clothes” as kidsonged by Joanie Calem.
Tom Rambow (The Porch Owls) takes a different (folk) route with his “Winter Clothes” all about lovers’ regrets. Pretty stuff.
Back Pocket gets alt jazz with “Winter Clothes” about depression and pain.
“Winter Clothes” for Marrus is just baggage. Garage light.
Derek Fawcett eases the mood when he signs about the weather worsening calling out for “Winter Clothes.” But then his pop folk starts the blame game with some metaphor for his relationship. Crybaby.
Retro pop folk (like Simon and Garfunkle) is Grace Basement with “Warmest Winter Clothes.” See, his love will keep off the chill….
Since the mood is so poetical, let’s party out with “Winter Dress” (code for Mother Nature & snow) from Humming House. Honky tonk pop.
If it’s a card at Christmas, but it’s not a Christmas card… what is it?
The Effengee’s (by way of a fine John Prine sound) folk their Dylanesque “Card with No Name.” But it’s about (among other things) a gift with a blank tag. Enigmatically emblematic.
Jethro Tull’s “Birthday Card at Christmas” also dodges the traditional posting. This is the mad symphonic rock of Ian Anderson, expect multiple meanings.
John Vosel & The Partycrashers have a country swing-pop rock chimney warning for you: don’t send a “Belated Christmas Card.” This guy hates waiting by the mail box.
Country and rock’n’roll have the same progenitor (i guess most popular music does). Suffice to say, if you hear guitar twiddling, but the beat is up–you got us a hybrid.
Luke Pilgrim gets ‘Murrikan with “A Christmas Card” for someone he cares deeply about, but can’t open up to. So he ratchets up the backbeat.
Swinging electric for the “Cowboy Country Christmas Card” mashes up the old and new for Stephen Amos. Some fine licks, but the song’s all about selling it.
Jingle bells, fuzzy filters, raspy vocals should add to the country of Mitchell Stone’s “My Christmas Card to You.” But it’s awful. He wishes you joy, happiness, and Mitchell Stone.
Pretty as peaches, but weary as worn shoes Jim Starks troubs “A Christmas Card” about a lonely man reading more into that piece of mail than you prolly intended. Yeah it’s only a soft rock connexion.
Something as primal as ancestral (European) music evolves with our changing needs to feel crappy. Cue the steel guitar!
Someone decided that the scratchy screechy vocalists of yore could be replaced with boys with the pipes of angels. Doug Stone tenors tenderly into the sad regret of “A Christmas Card.” He wishes you well, wherever you are.
Steven Curtis Chapman might be country but his reassuring “Christmas Card” is soapy boy band pop. Cool song, irritating delivery.
Taking the John Denver approach, Brad Parker plays up our hopes (not a country trope) with a “Christmas Card.” But, i think he’s sending it home from prison. So that’s better.
Frolicking fun from Phyllis Sinclair switching up to pop music time beating on her guitar with “Handwritten Christmas Card.” The pickin’ bridge is wonderful. I’m dancing.
‘They’ll be singing… Gonna be singing…” begins the song. We feel like we’re IN THE MUSIC. Whoa, Nelly.
“Christmas Carols by the Old Corral” was minor hit for Tex Ritter in 1945. Former Ritter back up Wesley Tuttle adds some aw-shucks yodeling to his concurrent version. Gene Autry flattened it for his Melodie Ranch broadcast of the same year. Nine years later Luke Simmons and His Blue Mountain Boys add some rock guitar but subtract with gramma’s electric organ.
What do you do when the deserving go cold, the lambs are lost, the Christmas spirit doesn’t perform miracles? Well, you could sing. It might make you feel better.
The Dean Martin Show’s Las Vegas showgirls back-up formed a group called The Goldiggers (it was a sad time) and hit the racks with a ’69 Xmas album offering a version of giving: “I Sing Noel.” Man, those high notes.
Sandler and Young combine for their “I Sing Noel.” Hokey country gospel that invites you to come in out of the cold.
Gospel might heal, so carols certainly uplift. The Statler Brothers spread the word with their Bible belt corn mush, preaching to the choir. “The Carols Those Kids Used to Sing” is a carol they sing. If you’re not a member you may not have heard of ’em.
