Name Seven, etc.

Donner may have began as Donder or Dunder. It’s a Germanic thing. But who cares–no mentionable songs about this reindeer exist. At this point we lump the last two together.

F’rinstance, “Donner & Blitzen” from The Peter Pan stable of singers flutes its way jazzily through a harrowing adventure through the awful storm.

Name Two

Dancer is co-lead reindeer. Not so much pressure, but same big deal responsibility. Ancillary antler safari.

Dancer is given co-credit (with Prancer and ‘Nervous’) in the 1959 almost-a-hit “The Happy Reindeer.” This cool cat kid pop novelty is loaded with laughs (their own) as they fly by the moon. Yippie kai yo.

X-claim: hurray (pt. 3)

Vocal chords weakening… can barely shout HOORAY for Xmas… one more time….

Kidsong twaddle from Twin Sisters (Kim Mitzo Thompson) allows wee ones to clap hands to bring Santa faster with “Hooray, It’s Christmas Day.” It’s English learning time!

Everybody raise your hands–if you’re afraid. Sweet Samaritans praise the Lord in “It’s Christmas — Hip Hip Hooray!” They do specifically ask you not to be afraid, but their affectless harmony sounds brainwashed.

Now Milton De Lugg and The Little Eskimos’ “Hooray for Santa Claus” gets a lot of mileage for being from ‘Santa Claus vs. the Martians.’ And The Fleshtones do it up right (and Carla Jimenez murders it). But have you met my friend “Hooray for Santa Claus” by Richard Stepp? This washboard jug band fun-a-doodle is right up my alley. He’s a friend to everyone down the line.

What to make of The Hit Crew’s “Hooray for Chanukah“? Meandering kidsong with some rattling ragtime piano… Sounds like a kick line.

Giving kidsong a good name, Agwabom modulates slightly with some golden retro pop in “Hip Hip Hooray It’s Christmas Day.” I like how matter of fact he cheers.

Life After X-muckin’ out the manger

Believe it or don’t some folks care to clean up their after-Xmas mess.

Agenda alert! Annemarie E. Witkamp has raved together an electronic “Christmas Clean Up Dance” song inviting all of us not to be alone but to pick up the ocean (it’s full of plastic). Yowza.

Civilian Jam Patrol raps out dance moves for “The Christmas Clean Up.” Break it down, hey! For Jesus.

Rodeo Gypsy does a quick tidy-up, but with slurring honkytonk gusto soon realizes “You Can’t Hide Christmas.” Hah to your turning the page!

But, Canned Hamm and Friends trot out the real message: no toys until “You Clean Up This Mess!” Possibly kidsong, but mostly odd. I dig it.

Waitin’s OK

Some songs claim that Christmas needn’t hurry. It can be late.

John and Garfield debate both sides in ‘A Garfield Christmas.’ We’ve sampled “Can’t Wait for Christmas” before–but, hey, when happy takes on grumpy we want to watch.

Wonder Pets from Nickelodeon will sure miss the cute reindeer when they lisp in the most childish fashion “Christmas Eve Will Have to Wait.” Mixed messages at best. Chimey whiney at most.

Wait No More

This is the day before the day. This is when we really wait for Christmas. Here’s my list of boss tunes to get you through the next 24 little hand clicks.

Hit that Motown funk with Lee Rogers and his 1965 angry-cool “You Don’t Have to Wait ’til X-mas.” Is the blood pumping?

Sedated (I Can’t Wait for Christmas)” is what it promises, a punk polite play on the urban outrage. Mark Sacco sleds in warmly. Two Inch Winky played this for us a couple days ago, but i’ve got my ugly jumper on and the cocoa’s telling me–this is the version you want today.

While we’re ‘cross the pond let’s get psychedelic with Loose Tapestries. Their “Can’t Wait for Christmas” is tight pop with an undercurrent of iconoclasm. Those rogues!

Jump blues gets the Nashville easy listening treatment from Cherie Brennan with “I Can’t Wait for My Baby to Come Home.” Love is in the air, and it happens to be nearly Christmas. Consider this half-time frilly silliness.

Back to the British Invasion! V.D.King (?) tries out a Beatles pastiche with their “I Can’t Wait (‘Til Christmas Day).” Again with the love, actually. This time with more pretty rock pop.

Girl power from The Courettes keeps us 1960s bound, but with more reverb fuzz and folk infusion. “Christmas (I can Hardly Wait)” wonders where you are, baby. And why the hell aren’t you here now!

Enough of the powerful. Time for the nuts. The Ping Pongs tell the 1964 rock tale of Johnny Jones who wails “I Don’t Wanna Wait ’til Christmas.” Now that’s novelty.

King of the novelty heap, however, must remain Mr. Mel Blanc’s “I Tan’t Wait ’til Quithmuth Day.” Here’s a low-fi 1953 78 to celebrate. It’s like Elmer Fudd is seven years old.

Wait for the Show

Christmas is a big deal, a big show. Let’s bounce in our seats in the audience waiting for curtain time.

We’ve celebrated the Teresa Brewer big band version, now let’s try “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas” as a torch song with back room bluesiness. That’s a better cover, mother. Madison O’Neill for the win.

But, I do admire a jazz tempo big band serenade. See what Jenny Daniel’s (cover again) of “We Can’t Wait.” I shiver so much i hear the tinkling of a two drink minimum.

Legit overorchestration arrives via The Kindie Songwriting Club (In the Nick of Time) and their slow building “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” This erstwhile kid song elevates the genre to showstopper.

Wait for a Near Bummer

Class up the kidsong, zip up the talent and tempo, and we have less than a mess and more of a cynical manipulation. I can’t help how i can’t stomach Raffi and his ilk.

Some imagination over food and Santa interaction boosts “Can’t Wait for Christmas Morning” by Johanna Lewis. But the sweetly humble kid intonations make me pick this as a song for the retirement home, rather than the romper room.

The Texas twang of Rosie Flores imbues corrido-stylings to “Watchoo Waitin’ for Christmas?” lofting it to higher musical levels. ‘Cause then there’s food again. And then there’s accordion, and honkytonk piano. Finally the stilted beat seems almost reprimanding. Can’t recommend this to anyone under 55.

The message in “I Can’t Wait!” by Patch the Pirate is unbearable anticipation for Grandma to open the special present from ME, the kid. Showtune shenanigans that feels by-the-numbers for all its ingenuity.

Warmed over retro rock for the chilluns should set me back on my heels, but i’m only slightly offended by The Wiggles crooning “Just Can’t Wait for Christmas Day.” It stinks of dad-hobby, but the boys’ve got talent: C-.