Category: Childrens

And if you met the jolly one in person, what would you think?! The Evaporators respond with the pop “Who Are You?“ WILD!

Idaho slow-rolls the indie with “Santa is Weird.” There’s something about love and light and falling in there.

Bandrew has more questions than answers in the guitar strummin’ indie “Santa is Dead.” No corpses are investigated in this one, so it’s more existential angst.

Speaking of weird, “(You Broke the Face Off a) $10 Santa Claus” by ‘Weird Paul’ Petroskey rocks the unlikely mercantile faux pas. Diggin’ it.

The one who doesn’t make you jolly is “Reverse Santa.” He won’t eat your milk and cookies. He vomits instead. Offbeat lounge polka from Hot buttered Elves.

Was it a dream?! “Santa Was Eating The Christmas Tree” was the disturbing scene for Nicci And The Project’s kidsong. Perhaps it was a Christmas tree shaped cookie? No? Run!

An oft heard low rating for Santa is his poor choice in gifts given. I mean, what’s the list i sent him FOR?! Handwriting analysis?

Worth repeating: Trout Fishing in America knows kidsong, if “Santa Brought Me Clothes” is any indication. Wild mini-organ jelly-rolling.

Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force serenades a visiting country pop star with “Santa Left a Booger in My Stocking.” It’s an Adult Swim thing.

Space Band has a problem with a little AM radio from “@santaclaus.” Children rocking about griping.

Saint John and The Revelations call down club rock to set a “Christmas Fire” as a reaction to not getting their wish.

Jello Productions paints a horrible portrait in “The Bad Santa Song (I’m Gonna Punch Your Presents).” Jingly kid song that blames Old Man Christmas without asking the hard question (How Naughty WERE You?).

One of the complaints we aim at the Wintry Philanthropist is that He’s Larger than Life. Worth repeating: The Ineffective Subdefectives parody ‘Nowhere Man’ with “Big Fat Man.” They’re having such fun. I’m jealous.

D’modes nitpick the dietary lack of restrictions Claus does in “Too Fat to Fly.” Club pop, but thoughtful-like.

Richard Sponaugle is also deliberate when asked to berate the old guy in the countrifried pop of “Santa Needs to Diet.” Low hanging fruit.

Making kidsong of it Muriel’s Animated Stories brings us a specific culinary caution in “Santa Needs a Diet.” Lifestyle choices are measured and reassigned.

Keeping kidsong in view, The Polkadots sing that song your kids sang in the second grade “Santa You’re Too Fat.” Ill manners have to start early.

Freddy Cannon helps with the light kidrock “Santa (You’re Too Fat for Me).” Kids are now deciding he‘s naughty!

From an obscure theme to an idea that knows no bounds… We’ll bid a frond farewell to Xmas hairdos to celebrations of Santa Claus in general. I’m not too interested in sharing hundreds or thousands of novelty songs about the big guy for April, so let’s focus on pretty good stuff.

We’ll start with the basics. Balderdash & Humbug introduce our hero with “Bella Gusta Santa Claus,” a parody of the Italia-Americano persuasion.

Description continues with Buck Owens and his country rock twangin’ “Here Comes Santa Claus Again.” He sounds nice.

More askew, Haschel Cedricson’s “Ballad of Santa Claus” explains and exalts the big boss of the North Pole. Banjo folk.

“The Man with All the Toys” is a fine Beach Boys bit of surf rock. They’re young, it’s clever, and bops liven it up.

Kids’ stuff from the ’50s seems to add social commentary to “Tinker Town Santa Claus.” I’m not sure why these folks sound funny, but Santa delivers nonetheless. According to The Cricketones.

Take it off, Santa! Take it all off!

And yet, shaving isn’t just for Ol’ Nick. Ren and Stimpy (John Kricfalusi, Billy West) return for their hair rock tribute to “Yak Shaving Day,” a truly tasteless ritualistic celebration. (That Nickelodeon cartoon’s Christmas corruptions involved hair in other ways: “Cat Hairballs“–a caroldy present alternative; and “We Wish You a Hairy Chestwig“–another caroldy about the preferred present for manly men who lack.)

The Nobility is indie hollering about how “Santa Shaved His Beard.” Into the stocking! Game Over, man!

Mighty Magic Pants kidsongs about the peripeteia when “Santa Shaved His Beard.” It’s traumatizing for the reindeer, elves, and impersonators.

Lachlan MacLeod is greener ‘n the Grinch over “Santa’s Gnarly Beard.” Ukulele indie idolatry for Mr. C’s white stuff.

“Santa’s Beard” by Keith Pendergrast is hard folk kidsong about some psychedelic episode some kid had with worms, a Coke, and a cat. If it were just animals each day for 12 days, i might get it. But this nightmare (of what’s UNDER the jolly one’s chin) is no joke.

Christopher Smith’s kidsong takes us on an adventure through “Santa’s Beard.” The treasures in that mess (and i don’t mean last night’s dinner)! Some fun.

More activity in darker days means one thing: lack of Vitamin D! And, erm, well, also accidents. Often featuring Mr. Christmas himself.

Short and hilarious is “Christmas at the Bottom of a Well” by The Light. Listen and see.

Tom Dyer sadly relates Doober’s ailments after returning from WWII. As a mall Santa much later, he’s hardly whole. But “It’s a White Mule Christmas,” so some fun jug band bluegrass.

Just as countrified, Dave Rudolf makes light of ‘Go Tell It’ with “Bo Fell Off the Mountain.” Those good ol’ boys… spooked by a squirrel!

Some mishaps are worse than others. StarFish remembers when “Santa Split His Pants.” How bad is that??? Mocking children’s music.

Just a couple more bad-mouthed carols.

BLUE ALERT! latewaves is mad as hell and still gonna take it while rocking “Hungover for Christmas.” So Merry Goddam Christmas….

MattstaGraham hits the garage with wishes of a Merry Goddam Christmas in the head banging “I Can’t Keep Up with the Holidays.” BLUE ALERT Good save on that last note.

I’ll be damned If I let another Christmas Go to waste laments Jon Bakke over “This Christmas.” Just a touch of Celtic to liven the pop epiphany here.

Dave Sweeney and the Kickin’ Mules tweak kidsong with some pop backbeat and bitch about waiting all damned year for a “Christmas Cookie.” To your room while I get the soap!

Making with the kid assembly song, Maynard Music brings us a kids’ choir proclaiming “A Pirate Christmas.” Band music, but short.

Pirates love Christmas, according to Tiny Tots. Yet, Santa seems ignorant of delivering gifts at sea. He’s got a prejudice that these freebooters were bad. But what about their children?? Who’s the villain now?! For an answer, try “Pirates Christmas Day,” a folk/easy listening tale as old as the briny deep.