Category: Childrens

Just Bells

Bells at Christmastime might just be one more prop what fell out the box from the attic when you upended that tangle of merry morass.

A supernumerary, the bell adds to the list in Patti Page’s “Christmas Bells.” (This is an older version.) Scmaltzy romantic pop fun. Byron Lee & The Dragonaires & Friends‘ duet underlines the how-you-doin’.

“And the Bells Rang” let’s you know where bells rate… last. The Golddiggers tip pop into easy listening so nobody younger than thirty will like this, unless they’re buttering up gramma. (This was a year before Bing’s release.) (But a few years after Tex Beneke, Ray Eberle & The Modernaires With Paula Kelly.)

Little Rita Faye cornpones the ham with “Sleigh Bells, Reindeer, and Snow.” It’s a list, read it.

Shad Weathersby adds bells to every aspect of Christmas with “Swingle Jingle.” For kidsong, it kinda does swing.

Sleigh Bells, for the kids

We know Santa’s sleigh has bells, ‘cuz it’s a sleigh. Guess who else’s sleigh has bells–everyones! Sing that to a pipe, city slicker!

The Cricketones are back from that album i grew up with playing “Ding-a-Ling Dong, the Sleigh Bell Song.” Which means you can sing-along all you want, ‘cuz that’s the whole set of lyrics pretty much. Kidsong gleefulness.

Some kids’ toon showcased some dumb plodding tune perhaps called “Snowflakes Fall, Sleigh Bells Ring.” We’ll get into it later, but this laundry list of Xmas details does not a carol create, gang.

Here’s one you might know: Gene Autry intros and burbles through “Sleigh Bells.” It’s so happy and all that it feels like you’ve been eating too much sugar.

ël-No, the thirteenth

Out of respect, Christmas could be deleted should just the right obituary appear. Hang the stockings at half hearth, children.

Comic rap from Unckle Eddie tells the tale of shooting the wrong antlered animal in “Christmas was Cancelled.” Some twangy country swing backing that up, there is.

Closer to home, old Grandad has his in Moper’s “Christmas is Cancelled” an experimental rock ballad that’s worth the wait (and the Bea Arthur interpretive church dance). This is punk gravitas, people. (So, BLUE ALERT.)

“Christmas is Cancelled” graphically illustrates the drunken aftermath of sleighicular homicide with light childish showtune music hall humor. Get on board with The Royds, or off with you and your good taste.

ël-No, the eleventh

Ask me, some horrid Bond villain might just target the holiday season and reduce humanity by a full fraction by doing away with Christmas. That could be a mastermindful thing.

Bratty children get moody when disappointed around present time. “I Wanna Cancel Christmas” by Ron Hamilton & Gary Emory (from the quite childish Peanut Butter Christmas) outlines the dastardly plans of the spoiled (for next year).

The web cartoon Dr. Monster features just such nefariosity when the Missile Toad takes on Frosty the Bro-Man in “Christmas is Cancelled.” Prick up yon ears, this kidsong masterpiece showcases our beloved Jack Douglass, so it’s got the steal of approval.

Vacuum

What else can we say about poverty enabled people being overlooked at Christmas? They’re so poor… they don’t know it.

Carly Jamison cries “Oh No Santa Claus” when her characters in her story suffer all year long, only to realize today’s different somehow.

Foxtails Brigade presents the drama of a little girl who witnesses everyone else enshrouded in merch, but in “Unfairness Awareness” she gets the nada.

Null Set

Almost worse than getting nothing for Christmas are the hollow gift receptacles.

Jessica Wiltz fronts some children who head bang to ’80s rock for their “Empty Stockings,” a cry of pain echoing from heel to toe.

More oddly ’90s sounding, D’modes feel guilt but also pain in their “Empty Stocking Blues.” Grouchy kidsong.

Almost Something

How bad do you have to be to be passed over by Santa? Do the math.

Merrill Leffmann leads the gang as they kid-culate what they can get away with in “I Hear a Lot About Santa.” Ragtime kidsong for the generations.

“Bad Little Boy” by Ray Stevens counts the sins like he’s sitting in the confessional. Kidsong but it ranges from pet torture to premeditating infanticide. It’s not exactly sung, but he’s not exactly repentant.

Baby It’s Coal: baby it’s you

Specific warnings to individuals about the natural consequences of coal in your stocking to naughtiness don’t come around often. It’s a blanket threat for allayouze to self reflect.

Jesse & the Hogg Brothers rage through the blues about how “Santa’s Got a Bag of Coal.” And they’ll tell you what you did, you ingrate.

“Box of Rocks,” by the Song Trust but attributed to kids (of all ages), is a fun kidsong about the letter to Santa tattling about that ketchup-wielding, Barbie-exploding sad excuse for a sibling.