Year-round Yuletide oddities
What’s so wrong about Xmas? Well, she’s asked for luggage as a present!
Joseph Bradsahw & Nikki Lane spar about their bickering in the fun bluegrass “Wait ’til After Christmas.” For the kids. (Okay, i chuckled.)
John Greer tinkles out the blues for a grand ’55 sad song “Wait ’til After Christmas.” Wailing, not wassailing.
Sometimes what we look forward to when Christmas is round the corner is the companionship and reunion of loved ones. Well, for those who can stand other people (cheers to ya).
Carly Simon draws out Livingston Taylor‘s “Christmas is Almost Here” as an easy-listening tribute to commonplacities. Finding a partner for the dance? Is this Prairie Home Companion?
New Nashville Revue’s “Almost Christmas” is honky tonk pop swing about being alone and jealously side-eyeing other lovers. Downer topic, downer genre mashup.
Unplugged, singular, plaintive folk/pop makes much more emotional impact, so take it away MYMP with “Soon It’s Christmas.” Heartstrings strummed. (Carol Banawa does this breathily and sexily; half a point off.)
Laying the blues on a piano bar smarm, Marc Broussard is begging for home with his sorrowful “Almost Christmas.” Lighters out!
One of the problems with Santa at the mall is that (in the old days) we had malls every few neighborhoods apart. So, when Daddy had trouble finding the right gift for Mommy at the Center, he had to go to the Square, then maybe to the Consortium–and darnitall if they’re weren’t a Santa at each and every one! It’s enough to give a child a double take.
Bunch of Believers spell it S-K-A with their “So Many Santas.” Then they ruin it with a sermon about how all those Nativity scenes only have ONE baby.
A cappella masters The Bobs slow the roll with the epochal “Too Many Santas,” reprised here for your sanity. As is Gayla Peevey’s “77 Santas.” Kids see the darnedest things.
Hokum appear! Hal Willis kidsongs the trouble of “Santa’s Clones.” Holy Dolly the Sheep, kidlings!
Canned Hamm and Friends bewail the crowds in the “Santa Claus Parade.” It’s a hoot and a half of ironic kid song, though i suspect there may be only one Kris Kringle. Still–the noise!!
Maxwell, Miranda, Parsely return us to the cool setting with their bluesy “Too Many Santas.” Things that make you go hmm.
What’s sadder than a mall Santa with an empty lap?? Nuttin’! Makes me think about missing other companionships….
Smokin’ Joe Pilloud cries out with some smokin’ blues about wanting a little more close-up attention on “Santa’s Lap.” Hey, bay-bee.
When you say a word too many times (‘western, western, western, western….’) it finally loses its meaning and becomes just noise. Overthinking disconnects the sign with the semantic. So, what’s the deal with Christmas and… a star?
Watkins and The Rapiers pick over symbols as meaningless in a heartbroken world with “All the Stars at Christmas” a bluesy folk ballad of bitter disappointment. (If you wait, hope may be at the bottom of the box.)
Dr. BLT takes the “Star of Bethlehem” to task for symbolizing perhaps too many ideas. Let’s count all the connotations. I’m not sure he’s trying to be the best star he could be, but kudos to the smoky western ska.
Enough with the not enough!!
Let’s move on to the spirit of Xmas, the trappings, the deets, the minutiae…how ’bout them BELLS? Poe‘ll tell you, bells can be used to connote many celebrations–but I’m hard pressed (unh) to attach these tinklers to Halloween or the Fourth of July or Earth Day. Ringing means 12/25, y’all.
The icon in the room is ‘Jingle Bells,’ the 1850-something small-ranging number by James Lord Pierpont. The controversy surrounding this earworm could fill a whole month of blogging, so let’s just say NOW it’s a family tradition for more than the racists among us.
If you need to hear this every December, bully for you. It tasks me, so i will not share the best, coolest, weirdest versions of this song i can find (maybe some other month when i’m out of ideas)–not the instrumentals, nor even the foreign translations.
Today, let’s try out some reimaginings using a bit of a different melody. That’s fun. (It’s the same lyrics, mostly here.)
Even John Denver has a bit of tinkly new age fun with this old horse.
What about James Taylor putting his downbeat syncopation trademark on it?
PDX’s own Jesus Presley throws a low curveball of lounge garage when you least expect it.
Over the Rhine sneaks up on you as well with “One Olive Jingle,” a bluesy, jazzy, word poem.
Going girl ASMR Lisa Loeb slows down the ride to a stuck in the snow slog.
Walking away with recognizability, Fats Waller jellyrolls the ragtime out of “Swingin’ Them Jingle Bells.” You won’t know you’re in a one-horse open sleigh for a minute. Ride with it. It’s mostly instrumental.
What a powerful metaphor–No Christmas. It’s like a similarity to another unlike thing. Whoa.
David Lee Roth waxes blues-y with his coffee house ramblings in “Ain’t No Christmas.” Like, darkness/no presents. Man.
Whaddya say about nothing? I’m talking ’bout Christmas… i mean empty stockings, uncluttered trees, echoing expanses… well, then it’s time for the blues.
“I’m Getting Nothing But the Blues for Christmas” is less raunchy and more melodic as a disaffected Stuart Hale Shakman pirouettes around the six-string to spill his guts. Purdy stuff.
Grinding the gears, Blaha shreds the blues with “It’s Christmas Time (And I Have Nothing Left to Lose.” It’s a sing-along for done-me-wrong.
Floyd Dixon leans hard on the bad news with his 1951 icy jingling “Empty Stocking Blues.” Brace yourselves. He’s all alone.
Maybe some really want coal for their Christmas offering.
James Leo Oliver pops a yarn about Grampa wishing he’d receive “Coal for Christmas” because, hoo-doggies it’s a cold one out there.
Woozy blues from William Wyatt tout the benefits of not freezing to death with his “Big Hunk o’ Coal” tribute. Wave your lighter carefully for this one, it’s combustible.
Some previous hits on our blog need a revisit here. Santa as a coal miner is such an obvious stretch it appears more than once in songs.
Theocracy nails “All I Want for Christmas” with power rock demanding Santa get his ‘old job back!’ Witty and gritty. Guitar solo is less than ten minutes, though.
Adolphe Adam has a weirder Bob Dylan-esque blues number full of jazzy ephemera, “Santa Had a Dream.” This is the ballad of a poor coal miner who dreams of presents, children, and flight. What a life-changing journey.