Category: bluegrass

Wait for Love’s Chance

Waiting for Xmas means time off, overeating, gifts… and having an excuse to see that one you’ve been missing all your life. Get the Hallmark outta here, musicians!

James Collins plays in low key rock ‘n’ roll with his folksy “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas Time.” He’s cool, ladies, ’cause he’s found a reason for the seizin’.

Pop R+B overplays the love story Sheléa woo-oohs about missing you while she “Don’t Wanna Wait ’til Christmas.” ‘Nuff said.

Stretching the limits of easy listening, soul lisping Mario J Brown sexies up the possibilities of what he “Can’t Wait for Christmas” for. Here he comes serenading with sultry snares of sensuality. You better watch out.

Empty pop spouts whole out of Erick Nathan (ooh, then there’s scatting doowop! And dance moves!) in “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Bouncy, but i’m not exactly won over.

The woman-rock of Denae Joy is assured and folk strong. “I Just Don’t Think that I can (Wait for Christmas)” is bluegrass country with vocals ranging into a yodel. That’s good enough for me, i’m in love.

Baby It’s Coal: digging Santa

Some previous hits on our blog need a revisit here. Santa as a coal miner is such an obvious stretch it appears more than once in songs.

Theocracy nails “All I Want for Christmas” with power rock demanding Santa get his ‘old job back!’ Witty and gritty. Guitar solo is less than ten minutes, though.

Adolphe Adam has a weirder Bob Dylan-esque blues number full of jazzy ephemera, “Santa Had a Dream.” This is the ballad of a poor coal miner who dreams of presents, children, and flight. What a life-changing journey.

Baby It’s Coal: watch the flue!

Last word on warnings about how miscreance = coal for Christmas.

Smoking Popes has a maybe-it’s-about-Christmas/maybe-it’s-not pop piece entitled “Little Lump of Coal.” You may read an inconvenient truth into it as you please. I see Xmas everywhere.

More sinisterly specific, Bill Fitzsimmons realizes the consequences for shooting the wrong deer might be “A Big Lump of Coal.” Fun folk/country.

Baby It’s Coal: posted

If you’re not familiar with the ‘bad tip’ protocol (wherein getting nothing is not as bad a getting a penny), there’s a song for that. That is, there’s a song (or two) explaining why coal for Christmas is a pronouncement on your maladjustment. Posted warnings include:

John Fontana drawls the blues in a frame of Mama sez for “Coal in My Stocking.” Take it to heart, young man–before Valentine’s Day.

Nolan and Jake from Canada have dropped a few songs on the ol’ Youtube as nolziz28. Of note today is their pop rap “You’re Gonna Get Coal for Christmas.” These Stranger Things runners-up get into the swing of the season, but ought to avoid close-ups. And avoid overlong comedy sketch set-ups, too. (A full minute before any singin’!!)

Haschel Cedricson employs a banjo to better effect with “He’ll Bring You Coal.” This pokey bluegrass masks bitterness with back woodsy folksiness. And that’s how you do humor.

Merry Criminals! jailbreak

No special release for the guilty during the holidays. Unless….

“Slim Tall’s Christmas on the Lam” starts out in jail. Then Charlie Parr picks his way on outta there. Earthy blues.

“Break Momma Home for Christmas” depicts a breakout by Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains. Hard rockin’ bluegrass defends the poor old lady from deerslaughter. She was trying to feed the starving poor ones, not take out Santa’s team. Sorry!

Merry Criminals! felonious Santa

Naturally as Santa is more powerful than us we joke about how he’s up to no good. But the finger pointing just got real.

At times the mud gets so flung pedophilia rears its childish threat. Kruxy croons “A Touch of Christmas” as a folky conspiratorial eff-you to Big Red.

Arlo Guthrie’s iconoclastic “The Pause of Mr. Claus” side-eyes the jolly old elf as if one of ‘these guys’ looking to get beat on by one of ‘those guys.’ He’s a dope-fiend, Communist, and worse through those narrow minds.

A treasonous militia seems to form around S.C. in the song “The Gift” by Do You Hear What I hear (feat. Screwy). Cheer and gifts are the weapons of his cult–so you’d better watch out. Electric blue grass.

Xmas Tech Support: radio

Wireless is magic! Like Santa! Radio connections are made well before 1900, so maybe the songs here might sound a wee bit old fashioned.

Pop music sounds way been-there done-that to me. Olivia Newton John loves “Christmas on the Radio.” She’ll even throw in a doowop or two. But it’s modulated mainstream.

Finding Favour instills more funky soul (and God) into the bluegrassy folk of their “Christmas on the Radio.” It’s third degree nostalgia.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: drunk as an underling

The call to arms at the office Christmas party is alcohol. Get as sozzled as possible so you can get all resentments off your chest and no harm done. Right?

PSA from Shawn Hollenbach: “Don’t Get Wasted at the Holiday Party” preaches a pop/rap dance beat to consider.

Brent Burns slurs through his confessional “I Got Drunk at the Office Christmas Party,” a hoedown of oompah hilarity that offers no moral lesson at all. You’re welcome.

“Christmas Party Song” from Bob Rivers is the office party drunk that went all sorts of the wrong way. But the ornate orchestration and strong vocals (Karen Carpenter tribute?) make it fly.

Beatnik Turtle’s Song of the Day offers “Company Christmas Party,” a rock pop-up (with bongos!) which merely suggests drinking as the reason for all the celebratorily outrageous behavior. It’s all in order. Count it off.

John Vosel & the Party Crashers let you know the hangover dangers before they begin their electronic blues wiler “Office Party.” Wild.

Roberto Cassani rolls his Rs for an Irish sendoff “At the Office Christmas Party.” It’s syncopated folk (isn’t that rap?) about alcohol-fueled shenanigans.

Bluegrassy ragtimey warbling really sells the “Office Party” drunkenness. Shorty Garrett sends you home with a cautionary tale. (About how you can win the girl with an extra cup of wine.)

Making Merry (BLUE ALERT)

Time to recognize the few, the brave, the messed up groups out there who make an effort to eroticize the Advent for their own reasons.

HC Weinberg & His Midwest Merry Makers kerfuffle out of Seattle to jug band out the holidays with a wry ol’ creepy uncle wink. Beware, these guys only know one tune.

Their album Christmas Makes Me Horny from a couple years ago warm up with the innuendo of “Santa’s Little Helper,” a tribute to little blue pills(??) with some horny horns and cheerleader cheers.

“Frisky the Snowman” is also naughty-lite blue grassing this time concerning the romantic sojourn of a certain iceman. Frankenstein’s monster had the same trouble.

The ‘Uncle and Aunt approved’ version of the title song is “Christmas Makes Me Frisky.” Stop here if you redden easily.

The same song done earthy is “Christmas Makes Me Horny.” Basically the same thing. No BLUE ALERT necessary, but i got nervous and pressed the button prematurely.


Take a Card: bluegrass pop

A pure form of country is down home bluegrass, which loves the pickin’ and strummin’ over the speed limit more than the surly sentiment. It’s hard to be sad with bluegrass!

Lugubrious gospel bluegrass from Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp harking back to the posing for the picture of “Our Family Christmas Card.” It’s not good news, but–hey–bluegrass.

Mark Best swings and sways with Sunday school rhythms for his blue grass special “The Christmas Card.” He wants you to know why he signed your card. It’s ‘cuz o’ God.