Category: big band

ReduXmas: You Auto Have a Merry Christmas

I knew of some odd Xmas songs concerning automobiles and one thing lead to another. For all the roadster rock, however, there were as many trucker numbers about helping out delivering presents. And also some inbetween the category bits. What else is on the back lot?

How could i forget Lindsey Buckingham’s overtired “Holiday Road” from that one movie that time? That’s right, it’s NOT about Christmas! Not even when The Stone Lonesomes put in on a Christmas album with all the ‘billy you could ever want.

2 Live Jews parody ‘Frosty’ with “All Used Car Salesmen.” Funny, but no mention of holidays.

“Toboggan Boys” from Steven Courtney is not tired, but has a Beach Boys tribute that won’t quit. They’re movin’!

Farmer Jason digs deep into country pop with “Santa Drove a Big John Deere.” How’d i miss this cornpone?

“Christmas in My Car” reroutes the topic to the suffering of the homeless via Do You Hear What I Hear (feat. No Kisses for New Years). Conscientious rock.

From the blues side, Matt Roach starts with Christmas in my car for “Christmas Blues ’95.” He gets around, but he’s not happy.

Bryan Kennedy is more down home with the plonkity-plonk in “Santa Drove a Dually.” The fiddle sells it. Cody Romshok goes electric with this.

Molly Starlite & The Sputniks saunters through “Hot Rod Christmas” without the need for speed. Slo-mo ‘billy.

Roadster rock should sound like Slant 6 and the Jumpstarts. Or is “HotRod Christmas” just a bit too familiar?

JD McPherson parallels without pause in “Santa’s got a Mean Machine.” Jolly jazzy big band ‘billy. Go go go. Gone.

ReduXmas: Baby It’s Cold

Ahh, the 1950s, ostensibly the birth of novelty Christmas music (not counting Yogi Yorgesson or Spike Jones or… hmm, maybe the 1940s were the birthplace of novelty Christmas music. I must investigate further).

1959: Spike Jones is still trying it with “I Want the South to Win the War for Christmas” (feat. Phil Phillips and The Rebels). This isn’t quite as offensive as it coulda been. Swingin’ big band coolness.

1959: Clifford Charles Arquette plays the rustic fool as Charley Weaver with “Christmas in Mt. Idy,” an entry in pre-Woebegone countrified comedy. Chatty.

1959: Yay ’59! “When Santa Comes over the Brooklyn Bridge” is the wailing funky jazz blues doo wop, in other words, rock’n’roll. Jimmy Allen & Tommy Bartella don’t exactly nail it, but they try it on for size.

1957: The sort of novelty that you may be nostalgic for (widdle kiddie voices)! Kenny Bowers (w/Jimmy Carroll and His Orchestra) clown around as the feisty kid and the cornered Claus in “Weach for the Wafter, Santa.” Kids are just like us, but dumber and overdramatic!

1954: You thought blockbuster movies owned sequelitis! Eartha Kitt follows up ‘Santa Baby’ with “This Year’s Santa Baby.” Last year’s presents are SO last year. You can do better…. purr purr.

1953: I scored some of these from a 1980 Dr. Demento show recording someone posted, including this truly racist Harry Stewart (as the ah-so Asian stereotype Harry Kari) bit “The Night Before Christmas.” There’s your ’50s golden age for you.

Pete the Elf turned me on to Barry Gordon’s 1956 attempt to recapture lightning in a bottle like with the previous year’s ‘Nuttin’ for Christmas’ in “I Like Christmas.” OMG, does this kid LIKE Christmas. Bouncy band kid pop.

Federation Undersecretary Captain Kirk (BLUE ALERT)

Christmas is so full of expectation, that any loss is catastrophic and cuss-worthy. Jilted for joyeax noel? Time for snarling slang!

Those Dreaded Gnats roll up the woes with “Merry FXmas,” a tale as old as flat tires. Cool rock pop.

Niki Luparelli is crestfallen by your caddishness, so “Why Don’t You Go F Yourself (This Christmas)?” I mean really, to this lounge diva brassy bossa nova tempo, why don’t you perform all these euphemisms? G’head.

Sick of Christmas: emesis

Toss your cookies, Ralph! We know you’re sick when you puke, barf, vomit, upchuck, or chunder. And we’ll give you space enough to drive the porcelain bus.

Enough of that! April Smith and the Great Picture Show are merely metaphorical with “Christmas Threw up All Over You.” This is kiddie ragtime expressing concern in how you overdo the season. As if.

But Arrogant Worms spews a great big band electronica “Dad Threw up on Christmas Day.” Man, that’s tasty novelty!


Take a Card: big band

Let’s roll this old concept thru the decades of musical evolution and see how much steam we can build up.

(To be fair, musical categories become updated, revisited, retroed and otherwise played again in later decades. A most recent ‘big band’ tune–full of folk, country and jazz–hails from Andrea Carlson. Her “Christmas Card” is all the lounge diva with all the orchestration necessary to fill a homefront ballroom. Worth the tangent.)

Let’s play it orchestral way back in 1954 with Petula Clark and “Christmas Cards.” She’s only 15 at this point so her cutesy singsong chirping against the big band backdrop is cause for comfort and joy amongst almost all Americans.

(Alma Cogan does this with more adult assuredness the same year. Who needs it?)

As Seen on TV: the star

Santa’s the big guy for Christmas. If you don’t see him at the mall, likely you’ll see him on TV.

“Santa as Seen on TV” by The Christmas Jug Band spells it in colorful washboard fun. Weee.

Bah & The Humbugs get serious with Santa’s guesting on Survivor, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and other “Reality TV” episodes. Caterwauling disco.

Or perhaps the television set is the big star. Mindy Carson leads us through a big band tinkler where she admits “I Want a Television Christmas.” This 1950 commercial is meant to change your household forever. For the kids. For Christmas.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Stand-in in a Stand

Poor resources! While nearly 30 million living trees fall for Xmas each year, in the past few years half that number artificial trees are bought. So let’s not forsake the fake.

This quandry is the subject of the ‘Tannenbaum’ take-off “O Christmas Tree, Reusable Christmas Tree” from Richard Holley. Lively, but with an agenda.

The dilemma is taken to violent levels in the grade school musical ‘Home for the Holidays’ by John Jacobson, Roger Emerson, Cristi Cary Miller, Emily Crocker, Mac Huff, and Tom Anderson. “The Christmas Tree Feud” features both sides in a kidsong sing off. They both win!

A word of warning, some assembly required. The Puffers oompah some old fashioned country rock for their “Christmas Tree Catastrophe.” So lowbrow, it’s fox-worthy. (Now, with the Lord.)

Flocking a tree is still a dead plant, but “We Will Flock You” from The Mistletones is so good, i had to repeat it here in the artificial section.

Quite alt, “Christmas Tree Menorah” is a music hall comedy (?) skit from Three Quarter Ale getting medieval on the tree. It features a long spoken set up, protracted groans, and a final Wonh!

Caribbean steel drums crowd into the lively “All I Want for Christmas is a Big Palm Tree” from Gene Mitchell. It’s so much better than the traditional, Gene follows up with the sequel “Coconut Palm for a Christmas Tree.” Double dipping in the inspiration pool, bra.

Likewise, Singin’ Steve is out on the islands with “Coconuts on My Christmas Tree.” Kidsong that worries about Santa finding the right tree. And Santa’s definitely black.

Apparently Texas has some forestry difficulties. So the McGuire Sisters (in 1956) proposed a party switch to “The Cactus Christmas Tree.” Sanders Family has a more tongue-in-cheek modern hillbilly take. Can’t tell which is more offensive, i likes ’em so much.

Spanish influenced, “Tumbleweed Christmas Tree” portrays a poor family’s second best. Red Steagall & The Boys in the Bunkhouse know and play real country (maybe not USA).

Po’ folk gots to improvise, i get that. But this Loretta Lynn clone “Green Felt Christmas Tree” is so spot on loving ’70s country that i’d pay good money to Ella May Kay. Wowza.

“Hibiscuses’ Christmas Tree” might refer to a business name, or a family name, but this goofy S.Pacific Islander love song is so alternative, i have to believe it’s not a standard Christmas tree. Aloha, Ukulele Santa!

“My Fake Plastic Christmas Tree” is all LJ Jones needs in his gentle folk rock apology. It’s bright enough.

Electronica from Glial Cell (is that a moog?!) extols their free “Plastic Christmas Tree.” Sounds already lit up.

A triumph in housecleaning and safety, Tommy Emanuel’s “Artificial Christmas Tree” is always pretty and really ever-green. Bossa nova club music with a seductive sales edge. Yes, you want that plastic thing now, don’t ya baby.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Yule Log in to My Account

Mistletoe, bah! Cedar pine now… c’mere baby.

Ron Glaser (or is that Elvis?) will be underneath the “Christmas Tree” where there’s room just for him and you. That kind of rockabilly.

More tributes to the King with The Ridin Dudes who also intend their assignations underneath the “Christmas Tree.” It’s a rockabilly appointment, so you know sometime.

All The Cute Lepers want under the Christmas tree is you, honeypie. “The Cute Lepers Christmas Song” is retro pop rock–even Jesus would skip out on his final peace… for you.

Cathie Fredrickson doesn’t need gifts, just you “Next to Our Christmas Tree.” Oh yes, and some kissing and hugging, too. Percussive folk.

A perfect gift for you and me is the side by side presence “Next to the Christmas Tree” for Jay Broadway is intimate, sultry alt-prog-pop. Too close, man.

More only you, this time with more country/western: Sam Mason and Songbird Jones repeat how the “Empty Tree (All I Want for Christmas)” means why-oh-you.

The Zac Brown Band (feat. Sara Bareilles) have nothing but love love love for each other, and it’s all underneath the “Christmas Tree.” Enormous band swing.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Love Tree Angels

Hey, look everybody! I found one last corner not covered over with stuff on the Christmas tree–The top!

Pretty symbolic. Should be some nadir kinda thing up there.

(And bee-teedubs, that angel might be a metaphor, not actual ornamentation.)

Kenny Chesney country jams “The Angel at the Top of My Tree,” but it’s about his squeeze. She’s not just a heavenly being, see. She’s the acme of the holiday season. She’s pretty good.

Faron Young is a little slicker with his yodeling crooner “You’re the Angel on My Christmas Tree.” Silver tongued devil!

The Christmas Rockers (yeah, generic as their name) woof out “The Angel Underneath My Christmas Tree.” That, for class!

More amateurish, but with feeling, Glenn Diamond seeks out peace on this day from an “Angel on My Christmas Tree.” It might be an actual angel here. Country with electronic bells!

“(Sweet Angie) The Christmas Tree Angel” is a full tale of another unappreciated Santa-helper. This big band twinkler has short shrift from Fran Allison , grrl sweetness from The Spitfire Sisters, adorability from Las Campanitas, but heavenly harmony from The Andrew Sisters.

Earth Mama wants to sing about decorations, but “The Angel Tree” is folk with a lesson (what else is new?): give love!

Michelle Schmitt uses “Angels in Trees” as a brief bit of imagery to kick off her list of loving memories. Jazz folk along.

Just to keep you off balance, let’s hear from the little girls who wish to be “The Fairy on the Christmas Tree.” Henry Hall and The Three Sisters apply a [music hall] different religious aspect to decorate from 1936. (I believe they had Jesus back then, but, well–)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX2kbXpKGcU