Category: altrock

In a more innocent time, we sang Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays in the same song. No one thought a thing about it. Let’s do that, hand in hand, you rascals.

Robert Earl Keen accentuates the absurdity of the trailer trash with trombone in the plodding “Happy Holidays Y’all.” This cut includes two takes (second on has slurring and cracking up). Oompah country.

N’Sync gets the corn roasting with “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.” This unfiltered fluff should have opposite sides settling out of court in a hurry. Perhaps Pentatonix is more your cup of Sanka. Pretend Motown for the preteen set.

Adam Hicks feat. Ryan Newman from the Disney show Zeke and Luther zoop up “Happy Universal Holidays” for one for all. ADHD pop.

Let’s settle the bill with invision haling us with “Happy Holidays,” a greeting for one and all. Or, an egregious alt assault on our sensibilities.

Can’t we just go back to season greeting? Must it be belligerent?

Well, on the one hand, Scott Anthony Andrews maintains he’s still like a child this hopeful time of the year. “I Still Say Merry Christmas” is less about taking a side, and more about merriment, despite the cheesy synth country.

On the other hand, “Don’t Wanna Hear No Merry Christmas” is a cry of alt pain from Kittywinder because it’s a sad time of the year. Be a little sensitive!

Let’s fool around with some more side eye on The War on Christmas. Those conservatives sound like this: fuff fu fuff uff fuffy uff fuff. Ha ha ha. Showed them up.

Erin McKeown’s Anti-Holiday Spectacular eventually introduces her singsongy ultimatum “Christmas (Love It Or Leave It)” with some strongly proclaimed un-Christian sentiments. I-ah-ron-ick!

“It’s a War on Christmas” alts out The Holiday Bloch-busters about the incursions, intrusions, and intolerance of fighting over Peace on Earth.

Santa could keep his hearth and home happy with that frisky promise of bride and groom. I think that’s all a couple needs–i read that somewhere.

If the longest sentence in the English language is ‘I do,’ then maybe Santa’s stuck with Mrs. Claus and “Mrs. Claus is Ugly” according to Santa’s Angry Elves. Rude metal, but no significant swearing.

Now that the work’s done, “Let’s Have Some Fun, Mrs. Claus.” Morning delight with a gypsy waltzing lilt from Emma Wallace and Marie Bee. Well, gee, i had fun.

“Chasing Mrs. Claus ‘Round the North Pole” is just the party raunchy alt we need to visualize to feel better about the cuddly twosome. Thanks Lust Control. Now i can stop thinking about my parents’ wedding night.

The powerful concept of family for Christmas inspires far and wide. Way far. Far side far. Some of these songs are to WTF for me to pigeonhole, but not to appreciate.

The Shake blues-metals around the bush for “Families and Christmas Trees.” Just distractions from the real meaning of life?

The Studs punk-metals a rollercoaster of feels for “Donner Family Christmas Party.” Pain = life. Don’t eat each other.

More punk metal from DIE NASTY. “It’s Christmas (My Family’s All Dead)” smells like a parody, but it’s not really about –oh i give up. Sociopathy.

More quietly, Chris Mayor draws out the alt-rock so that each word takes a half dozen notes. Christmas isn’t at issue here (i think) but family inspired by the holidays is. And “Family” is on his Xmas EP. So here goes:

We know family is so important for Christmas when we can’t see them. That void can only be filled with a song.

Serving your country can keep you from home. Daniel O’Flaherty mourns “Christmas Without Family” in spare Celtic folk. Wait, is he in prison?

Crappy Canadian pop from Rita MacNeil promises she’ll share “With My Family.” Perhaps they’re not here right now… or they’re dead… can’t tell.

Jesse Daniel Smith gets melancholic about his absence with “Please Hang Out with Your Family,” an alt-reggae bit o’ the blues. Learn from his pain.