douglove1225 – Page 321 – Novelty Christmas Music

Died. You’re Welcome: murder (4)

American folk-singer and humorist, Loudon Snowden Wainwright III (that ‘Dead Skunk (In the Middle of the Road)’ guy) delivers on the 2nd Amendment and our God-given right to kill just like in the video games with a sweet Nat King Cole kinda tune. Remember, ammo means I Love You in Latin.

Died. You’re Welcome: murder (3)

The Murder City Devils did not evolve much beyond Seattle with their garage noise, thank goodness.

This exercise in rhythmic mayhem promises no more than it’s title: “Dead by Christmas.” Just Lay Down the Track! (And yes BLUE ALERT–at least a little.)

Died. You’re Welcome: murder (2) BLUE ALERT

Street cred means you’ve survived tough times: threats, beatings, shootings. Hip hop tries to keep the power of poverty alive by trivializing the violence with happy rhymes and careless profanity. And dressing like shit.

So, oops, oh yeah BLUE ALERT:

Insane Clown Posse and Twiztd (a duo sprung from the demise of House of Krazees) band together to explain rough and tumble East Side West Side shenanigans during the holidays with “Murder City Christmas.” Blood and stockings will be spilled.

Died. You’re Welcome: murder (1)

I know… you were hoping for some metal… some death metal…

Almost there (i’m a little old for headbanging regularly).

And I KNOW Weird Al Yankevic has a comedy classic “The Night That Santa Went Crazy” but despite the hints of elficide, it’s mostly about torture-killing the reindeer and we’ll deal with roadkill in another week or two.

So to start you out of the grisly world of grinchy life-taking (check out my Halloween week from last year as well), here’s cute little Londoner Silver Darter, singing about luring you to his cabin and relieving you of your burden of breathing for the holidays: “The Face of Death.”

Died. You’re Welcome: the world

Slip a parody in here.

The H.P. Lovecraft Society is nerd candy for Goth kids. They sing fun filk about the Old Ones wiping us off the dimension of life.

Here is their “Death to the World” with a darling slide show of Lovecraftian horrors.

Died. You’re Welcome: me and you

Missed you last Sunday. Y’know Easter. It’s all beginning middle and end for us Western Civvers because of JC. But we try not to directly link that little baby in the manger with suffocating and pierced on some dusty hillside. No foolin’ though: he died for you; be grateful.

Not so reverent are our pranking holiday songsters! Deep dark December is a time to reflect on mortality, which gets mixed up with rebirth and then you just gotta put it to music–maybe with a larf. So we’ll spend April on a few passing on bits for you all sugar plummed up–or whatever else you got out of your grassy basket–for our Christmas Every Day of the Year appreciations.

Our classic today is from Parker and Stone on their South Park Christmas album. How do i know it’s a classic? Well here is Dryante Zan, who seems to have learned English from TV, covering his beloved ironical special noel: “Dead Dead Dead.”

BLUE ALERT: the s word (10)

Saved the best shit for last. Red Peters is often as funny as an Asperger’s ridden 1960s burlesque emcee. But his psychological passive-aggressive pastiche of Walter Brennan (you don’t have to suffer through the original tear-jerking tune) dealing with ungrateful grown kids at Christmas is a hoot and a holler and a half.

Please enjoy “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit for Christmas.” It’s funny. I shit you not.