Year-round Yuletide oddities
Worth another listen: Here Come the Mummies dance club up some blues with the danceable “Secret Santa.” Herein begins the gray area of WHO is Santa.
He sings, she sings in Gary Fjellgaard’s “Secret Santa.” Aw shucks folk country pop flirts me to you like mistletoe on fire.
Vista Blue retro rocks their “Secret Santa” like it ‘s a party. I can’t believe that I got you!
Retro sockhop from The Barbary Coasters blows hearts your way as your “Secret Santa.” Just between us.
Worth another listen: Obvi we have to recycle the Black Sabbath parody “I am Santa Claus,” but we’ve already heard Bob Rivers. Other, more metally rockers, weigh in, like The Juggling Potatos.
JunyTony’s kidsong “I am Magic Santa” gives ear to the other side of the aisle. Here, the gifts are wishes for seeing dinosaurs and going to space. Hyper.
The other side of the triangle might be the lounge ballad “My Name is Christmas” by way of Scott Scovill (featuring Hanne Sorvaag). Is it Santa or a personification of a day?! Smarmy!
Super Alvarez Bros. indie up some mysticism with “Have I Told You Lately That I’m Santa?” Para-psychedelia that makes you wonder. (Beware the ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ sampling!)
Worth another listen: Balderdash & Humbug parody The ‘Stones (NOT Fred & Barney) with the superior “Sympathy for Santa.” Guess his name!
Chaffu$ gets derogatory when maintaining “I am Santa.” BLUE ALERT rap. He finds your lack of faith disturbing.
Glam rock from ’15 sends The Darkness into “I am Santa.” He’s hungry for you in the best Eurotrash style possible.
The Hot Rods growl out “Old St. Nick Blues” like being Santa is a burden. It’s hard work, kids! Roll out that electric organ!
Time to turn the mic over to our Guest of Honor and hear what Santa Claus has to say for himself!
Worth another listen: Arrogant Worms wakes up to find “Oh God, I’m Santa Claus!” A descent into pop music madness.
The Oley Project rock moderately in the tell-all “I am Santa Claus.” Not much new here: lazy, cold, lonely.
More industrious is the embodiment from Christmas Workshop Band (feat. Elfie). “I’m Santa” is a folk amateur mess, but what a beat!
Just as folk kitschy, Ben & Tucker allow the big man to narrate his gift-giving adventures in “Santa Now!” The low-key enthusiasm is key to selling this strummer. Then I becomes WE. Mystical.
Santa Claus is Missing! howls Pyreworks in their experimental church organ dirge “International Catastrophe.”
Where Have You Gone–? moans Rudy Casoni in the lounge act “The Christmas That Was.” But this time, the Sinatrator isn’t making with the comedy so much as the message. Santa died because we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. His body was found behind the Walmart
Aye Cay goes to extreme lengths to get even with Santa after being passed over. In bluegrass (reminiscent of Sufjan Stevens) he reveals “The Plot.” Not for the faint of hearth.
BLUE ALERT Rap “The Death Of Santa Claus” by Cult Activity (ft. Claas) holds no scruples over murder. Brutal.
Dr. Scythe catches “Santa’s Last Christmas” with lighthearted metal. Frozen is bad.
Bullet in the head, is the method from Infinity Greenhouse. Indie pop BLUE ALERT autopsies “Santa’s Dead” with musical precision. Don’t tell the kids, but they’re not sorry.
White boy rap from T Vinci (feat. Sully Gunther, James PM, Woolly Peaches & Yung Krusty) follows a fall and plow over. “Santa?” is only the beginning. The boys do the cover up and then do the job. But….
Valley of Love (Dan Barbanel · Amaury Massion · Joy As a Toy) overproduce the dramatic reenactment “Santa Died for You.” As much a march as just plain pop.
The Smothers Brothers sing their unfinished “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” redo with abrupt panache.
After the fall, whaddya going to do? Make Like Monkeys retrorock the answer in “Santa Claus is Dead.” Hint: you’ll need a lighter.
Let’s pile on Santa! Call him names! Judge him! BearRon once again strums and hums, this time about “Dumb Santa.” Three legged pants don’t make a keen gift!
Flooded Cellar mocks the list-maker without a clue in the grungy funk of “If Santa Only Knew.” What Santa didn’t know: He wants to lay some lovin’ on you, girl.
“Bad Mall Santa” may not be the real guy, but Yulenog garages a heap o’ complaints that range from sartorial to personal. The image is tarnished.
Jeff Dunham (as his Bubba J character) sketches the sketchy “Santa is a Redneck” with rall purty country music. It’s all chaw in cheek.
Several versions of “Here Comes Bubba Claus” take on the original carol with less effort than Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers here apply to the classic frontier humor of the American South.
That crazy, overworked oldster might be getting forgetful. “Santa Got Lost In Texas” cowboys out The Twang. Big place, you know. Like the world.
“Santa’s Lost On the Underground” is fine Britpop from Little Timmy Tinsel & The Fairy Lights. Some fine guitar, but no solutions from fellow riders.
What you don’t want to hear is Santa saying “I Forget.” Chuck Picklesimer uses folk weirdness to explore the onset of dementia.
Making lighter of it, Chris Bennett jazzes the lounge with the Hey, Now of “Santa Claus Forgot.” So funny i almost forgot to, uh, you know.
Worst of all, Santa lost himself! “Where’d Ya Put Santa?” jugs out The Christmas Jug Band. It’s not rhetorical, dude. Help out.
What could be worse for a generous soul than to be labeled elitist? Bad Folk try a carnival approach to indie with “Christ, It’s Cold.” That’s not just a reading on weather, but on humanity. BLUE ALERT
“How Does Santa Know?” lounge pops Lauren Mayer about who gets a visit and who has a menorah. Dim the house and cue the spotlight.
Yid Kids point out how devout they are (with sitar!), yet “Santa Doesn’t Come to Little Jewish Children’s Houses.” Guess they’ll have to make do with eight days of presents.
Worth repeating: Sarah Silverman demands reciprocity in “Give the Jew Girl Toys.” Wacky country show tune that asks WWJD.
Some Xians still don’t get goodies. “Will Santy Come to Shanty Town?” asks Eddy Arnold with easy listening (so-called) country. Praying doesn’t seem to help!
Toby Keith jerks the tears with quieter ‘country’ in the homeless child’s plea “Santa, I’m Right Here.”
Young And Sexy returns us to an indie mood via “Santa Claus Likes Rich Kids Better.” Yes, Karen, there IS a Santa Claus.
The Attery Squash (feat Rev. Ivan Stang as Santa) try Britpop hoppiness as “Santa’s Laughter Mocks The Poor.” [Song title ‘appropriated’ from Mystery Science Theater 3000.] Holy moly.
Is Santa more than a man? Or less? Sonny Boy Williamson II’s “Santa Claus” is into your lady’s dresser drawers. What gives? Blues? Pinks? Polka dots?
Frenetic punk from Alice vs. Everything alleges “Santa is Coming…” from sodomy and so jailed. Something’s terribly wrong.
“Santa’s a Dirty Old Man” concludes Lil Poverty Angels about his unstable mall behavior. Word jazz that does not include consent.
JMaq notices something disturbing while peeking Xmas Eve, but he doesn’t know “Why is Santa Wearing a Thong?” Stylized electronic rap with a twisty twist.
Crux dabbles in paedophilia with “A Touch of Christmas.” This showtune pop went there.
Monkish knows better when “Santa’s on the Register.” The sex offender list informs their garagey rock.
Rudy Casoni warns some Santas ain’t super in his lounge act “Beware, Beware.” Better take notes.
Matt Roach has a personal up close experience in the folk-rock “Santa Touched My Candy Cane.” This is not the worst report we’ve hear, but the trauma’s still there.
What could be worse? The Christmas Cards sweetly balladeer the pop “Santa’s Got a Secret.” What is said secret? Listen carefully. You’ll never be the same afterward.
Is Santa a KILLER? Worth repeating: The Killers beg with blues rock “Don’t Shoot Me Santa.” Didn’t you ask for kevlar PJs?
Michele Lee duets herself in the cartoon special about Santa running over (killing) some grandma somewhere. “Grandpa’s Gonna Sue the Pants Off of Santa” applies bossa nova strategy to the civil case that follows.
Ink a tutorial about how you “Better Be Good” Hot Buttered Elves let slip how Santa has a license to kill and will eat (and do worse to) your remains. Oogies. Sock hop rock.
“Double Barrel Santa (the Night the Reindeer Died)” by X-Ray Mary is retro punk inspired grisliness of the homicidal kind. Duck! He’s reloading!
Starting with ‘She’ll be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain,’ SCUM [BLUE ALERT] alerts us with hard rock that “Santa’s Coming.” Unlike other hopeful lyrics, in this song his goals include raping and killing.
More BLUE ALERT from Poke-Gangster with his rap wreck “Santa Killa.” Yuck.
Pyreworks smashes “St. Nick’s Hit List” with gravel gargling metal. Something something kill something.
To reassure you, “Santa Claus Got Busted!” Mr. Cork takes him down with perky organ pop and a small drugs charge. He doesn’t do well up the river.
Wendell Ferguson takes it slower with the bluesy “Santa’s Doing Time.” Just a B&E, or a few hundred. He’ll be back by next year.
Foster Gray & The JJs insists “Santa is an Arsonist.” Evidence? He brings coal! Unplugged garage fooling around.
Arne Åsmund uses cowboy pop to prove in “X to the Masses” that Santa rose in the criminal ranks from lowly drug runner to strung out street person.
“Santa’s Got the Munchies” folk pops Jet Baker, implying some irresponsibility on the part of that important delivery system. Better get more cookies!
Protesting too much Charlie Stewart electro-countries “Santa Claus Ain’t a Hippie.” Hey, isn’t protesting what hippies do?
Neil Halstead covers Fountains of Wayne’s “The Man in the Santa Suit” with pathos the original didn’t have. Ah, the futility of Santa in a modern age!
Fruitcakes (give it a moment to start…) parodies “Santa Claus is Coming” with a trip to ‘The Price is Right’ to win a new sleigh. Makes him look like a dummkopf.
Nor does Dianna Corcoran take the “Funny Little Fat Guy” in a red suit seriously. Serious country rock, though. Stalking much?
D’modes undermines the whole thing in “The Silly Season.” Swinging pop criticism that STARTS with Santa. Rated M.
Benny Grunch & The Bunch point around the back of the neighborhood ’cause “Santa and His Reindeer Used to Live Rite Here.” Cajun rap. This is good stuff.