Author: douglove1225

Xmas Instruments: Bells (pt. 1)

Heavens, a whole month has come and gone dedicated to Christmas Bells. But that rings hollow compared to the cornucopia available. So, a few more that jingle, peal, and clatter. Part one’s Jesus and other old fashioned stuff.

Nativity feting allows for bells, despite the silence of the night. “A Maid Bore a Babe” from Alan.s.Robinson is dandy medieval folking about joyful noise making.

Mark Hand goes faux medieval with “Fortune Bell.” It’s gravely fun.

This paradox is explained in “All the Bells in Bethlehem” from Janice Kapp Perry ()feat. Steven Kapp Perry, Lynne Perry Christofferson). This Xian pop tells us how bells weren’t there then, but shoulda been.

By the time we get to the folk rounds of The Lower Lights, “Christmas Bells” = Jesus is born. Humbling.

“The Joy Bells are Ringing,” according to Slim Whitman, sweetly tell of Jesus’ birth. Easy listening western.

Alan.s.robinson puts the “Sweet Bells” in the hands of the shepherds back then. Sprightly folk.

Leonard de Paur Chorus caribs the nativity party with “Ring de Christmas Bells.” Loud.

Patch the Pirate anoints the “Christmas Bell” with an Annunciation, so that kid chorale hymn shall herald the K o’ Ks.

Travis Cottrell is either asking you to “Ring the Bells” with soaring gospel country, or he’s asking Jesus to do it. Get’r done.

Stan Davis & Friends retort the cool with community glee in their “Christmas Bells.” Everyone join in.

Willie K swings Hawaiian with his “Christmas Bells.” Uke jazz, man.

“Gringo Bells” is Nicholas Marcos with a bossa nova beat reaching across borders.

An old Celtic drinking song rewritten for us is “Bells Chime” by The Uh Ohs. I don’t know whether to tipple or tinkle.

Mark Hand tortures easy listening with the slowdown of “Ring Those Bells,” a celebration of hard candy in a dish.

Kenny Loggins sets the scene at a churchyard and a lost child in the jerker “The Bells of Christmas.” Easy listening sax.

Lawrence Welk and His Orchestra and Chorus throw polka into the middle class with “Ring Those Christmas Bells.” This is the closest we’ll get to rocking today.

Maudlin indie from Bruce Enloe (feat. Ben Mullen) centers us on what’s important with “Northern Bells at Christmas.” Norman Rockwell whitewash.

Xmas Instruments: Bass

This is a pretty loose term: stringed, skinned, brass, speaker, deep-throated? (It just means pitched.) Well, we’ll stick mostly with the longneck guitary thing. Electric, at times. At other times–look out.

Donna Singer gets jazzed when she reveals that time “Santa Plays the Bass.” It’s a North Pole jam session of moderate consequences. Unplugged.

DETOUR! Monty Harper (feat: Lisa Harper (tenor ukulele) & Donald Brown (cajon)) reveal in their backroom how “Santa’s Got a U Bass.” That’s a ukulele, kids. No, you can’t borrow mine. I don’t have one. Fine surf rock.

David M. Bax falsettos “Merry Swidmas” about Santa’s visit (where not a bass was playing). This downbeat jazz also wishes you a Merry Bassmas, so there’s that.

DETOUR: Feel the bass, see the lights, quips Kwistone in “The Santa in da Club.” Yeah, it’s club pop–you might wanna card this one for legality. But, it’s all about that sound system. Their “Santa’s Sleigh Drift” EDMs how important the bassline thumping in your ride must be.

Carols played on the bass still get a pass, but comedy about that monotone sound gets a play. So, here’s “Amazing Bass” from the Bob & Tom Show (morning radio from the ’90s, wee ones).

Merle Haggard interrupts his breaking out of county for Christmas when “I Made the Prison Band.” Ol’ C+W what names the players, beginning with the bassist. The power of performance compels him.

A gut bass, too features as well in “My Cajun Christmas” by Gary Strickland. Decorous Zydeco.

J9’s “Island Christmas” also includes this instrument for their Polynesian sound. Is there any ethnic genre the bass can’t anchor?!

“A Caveat Christmas” in which the elves are kicked into gear by music is played by Caveat (feat. Kelsey Minko & Jonny Jed). Trent, the bassist, leads the charge to save the gift dispensation. American R’n’R, and it wails.

Xmas Instruments: Banjo

The African-descended banjer took the world by storm centuries ago, so we’ll expect more here.

Bob Johns gives us the homegrown folk of “The Christmas Banjo” as a Christmas present, and who give it him, and who made it, and on and on. It may surprise you that this is a short song.

Also a bit off-studio, William Evenhouse admits “I Want a Banjo for Christmas.” Okay, Boomer. Too earnest for bluegrass. But, some solid talent.

Dave Taylor invokes family again for “When Grandpa Played the Banjo.” This folk tune, however, does not behold the stringed whinger as gladly. Some nice strummin’.

Corny country from Ritchie Remo bequeaths unto us “Santa Played the Banjo.” The pop mush gives us a picking and grinning and tutoring Father Cee.

“Santa Gave Me A Banjo” gets us back to traditional bluegrass care of Self Rising Flour. Stately in its back-woodsery.

Box of Books gets more antic with “Banjo for Christmas.” This garage bluegrass can think of nothing better than this gift from Santa. Some silliness.

Also high-speed Spencer Chandler can’t stop gleefully celebrating how “Santa Claus Brought Me a 5-String Banjo.” It’s a bit ’70s gosh, a bit Sing Along with Mitch, a bit breakdown throw down. Whew.

Dan Cloutier takes another approach when he receives the unasked-for instrument. He is told “Yule Love the Banjo” in high speed folk. Apparently this is a family tradition. So it is enforced.

Steve and Bonnie Vetsch duet over a laundry list of wanna for Xmas, including how “I Want A Banjo For Christmas.” This CW grass leads me to believe Jesus played that thing. Huh.

Holy cats, but Bajazzerne rolls out the washboard jazz band–including midwestern scat–for the boggling “Santa Plays the Banjo.”

Buffalo Bill Boycott puts “The Christmas Banjo” in the hands of Daddy this time. Once he brushed off the coal dust. Sparkling bluegrass, with some schmaltz.

The Del McCoury Band featuring Ronnie McCoury revel in a “Bluegrass Christmas.” Guess which instruments get named for a proper holiday band?

Banjos get invoked late in the essential Sufjan Steves “Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!” as a means of dance-party celebrating. But this indie boogie is infectious. Some fun.

Jed Marum brings it home with the humbly elegant “Banjos We Have Heard On High.” A share from Pete th’Elf, this bluegrass sways gently in the Christmas breeze.

Xmas Instruments: Bagpipes

Holiday carols about dropkick Murphys are pretty few and far between. Let’s celebrate that paucity.

Steve Clarke’s “Magical Christmas” is a dearth of joy. In this indie bagpipes and drums are the big party. It’s that way.

GreenMatthews gets medieval on your repast with “The Bagpipe Carol.” It’s pretty disco, actually.

Xmas Instruments: Accordion

It’s time to peek behind the musical curtain and see WHAT makes the novelty. Musical instruments are joyous, annoying, celebratory, and obstruction props for the holidays. Keep in mind: these are songs ABOUT the instruments, not simply instrumentals. (Bells will return to the blog.)

That is never more difficult to winnow down than with the ol’ stomach Steinway. So, sit up straight and attend.

You’re a “Christmas Accordion” according to me, belt out Mount Righteous, in perfectly awkward oompah. So cool.

Dennis Polisky & the Maestro’s Men elevate jug band to the Scandihoovian with “Richie’s Christmas Accordion,” a polka-palooza.

“Accordion for Christmas” is more of a novelty threat from Tom Torriglia. Still polka.

Let’s not neglect “Please Buy Me an Accordion for Hanukkah” by Valerie Sassyfras, a bit more klezmer than polka. And it’s a sweet family memory. Isn’t that better? (Until you listen to it.)

Sea shanty does it for me, so let’s twist an ankle to “Pop’s New Accordion” from Rum Ragged. This is a wish list from the family. It’s serious. So should your listening be.

“The point is there ain’t no point”-C.M.

Well, if Christmas’s all just someone else’s story… what are we gonna do?

“Let’s Pretend It is Christmas” from Marthie Nel Hauptfleisch and Bill White is a pretty folk pop ballad about going through the motions (for the baby?) that’s almost hopeful.

Paul Parnell is troubled by the lack of snow (and brotherly love?), so he’ll “Pretend It’s Christmas.” Cheesy easy listening.

Jigsaw Seen unspools prog rock for a more mystical “Pretend It’s Christmas.” Now we’re getting nowhere.

Sampling like crazy, Akira the Don sets up a “Game of Pretend” (no harm intended). Spoken word new age self delusion. What?

Making pretend is the goal of Them Dirty Dimes who carousel pop for “Let’s Pretend (It’s Christmas Time).” A lovely, waltzing illusion.

Shane James is gonna “Just Pretend It’s Christmas” this year with insistent pop back beats and repetition. That’s the way we do it at my house.

The Non Traditionals broaden our lack with the sea shanty adjacent indie “Let’s Pretend It’s December.” I pretend that every day on the blog.

“Confounding the dignity of man with mere usefulness arises from conceptual confusion that in turn may be traced back to the contemporary nihilism transmitted on many an academic campus and many an analytical couch”-V.E.F.

Again: Agnosticism tries to rock in “Have Yourself a Merry Secular Xmas” by Connor Ratliff & Mikey Erg. Knowing it can’t be known doesn’t get us very far.

David Goody returns to spoof pop McCartney and spell out the philosophical consequences of a “Nihilistic Christmas.” Check out the pointless guitar solo. (This is less confusing than his teasing “Nihilist Navidad” where the lesson is: whatever you like. That’s not really nihilist, is it.)

“It’s a Nihilist’s Christmas!“–BLUE ALERT–is the salsa beat indie from Lips Manly that allows for whatever purges your tension. Bet you wind up alone, though.

Queen Elizabeth’s Abortion solemnly electronicas “The 12 Days of Nihilism.” Better than it oughta be. I recommend it to my science fiction friends.

Thomas Christ reduces the state of being even more with the electronic “Nihilist Christmas.” Don’t believe it!

Glen Richardson juggles possibilities with improbabilities in the much more musical slow rocking “The Nihilist’s Christmas.” It’s like tipsy showtune.

“If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?”-C.P.

Again: JMaq singsongs the wisdom of the ages with his electronic “Christmas isn’t Real.” Please address each one of his points singly.

There’s gotta be more to this, reasons The Twelve Twenty-Four Collective with jazzy overtones to the easy listening in the searching “Christmas Isn’t Real.” By not real, they mean incomplete–in the big scheme of bells and wrapping paper.

Also trying to focus on what’s important, The TV & Film Music Collective (feat. Shay Watson) reduces our holidays to nothing… without you. “Christmas Isn’t Real” squeaks in under the gate as more jazzed easy listening, but don’t expect more lovelorn frippery this month.

Let’s return to our mission as The Brockstars nasty up the Advent in “Santa isn’t Real.” This rocker manipulates the masses to get some. Then some more.

“If we believe in nothing, then everything is possible and nothing has any importance”-A.C.

Again: One of my favorites has Bill Wurtz contrast silly pop froth with coffeehouse beat iconoclasm. “Christmas isn’t Real” is awesome sauce, from that gossipy Easter Bunny to the two dollar scat.

“Real or Fake (Shit Ain’t for Everybody)” is the rap expose by way of Von Carter, BLUE ALERT and all the tea is spilled.

The Partitioners–also BLUE ALERT–party up the disappointment with “There is No Christmas.” Old timey rock’n’roll with a grudge.

Social Fever (feat. Diana Timbur) smash the 88 keys for the jazz purrer “There Is No Christmas Without Science” (Remastered Version). It’s the age old dilemma of faith: what we see vs. what we want to see. Cool.

“In this modern day and age, we have instant coffee, instant tea – instant disbelief”-G.T.

Again: Nicktoons’ Jimmy Neutron pits our eponymous hero against his entire schoolroom with the showtune debate “Basking in the Warmth of Christmas.” It’s a mainstream standoff.

Gighive indies an upbeat “Here Comes Christmas,” the whole time smirking behind their sleeves. Not really!

David Goody lectures us about what’s real and what’s true. With his toy piano pop he chides our Xmas trads, but stands by UK’s rock band Slade in the culturally bound “Mr. Holder’s Yule Log.” Better dresser than Santa, anyways.

Shorty Garrett don’t believe in any of this holiday hoohaw. You’ve heard all those lies, haven’t you? “I Think You Know” he declaims through strangled bluegrass, in case you hadn’t.