Author: douglove1225

Satyromaniac Santa.6

“Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin’ Tonight” ya dig? Rocky Sharp does. Blues! (Not to be confused with “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’” by Albert King. Tha’s smoove.)

Ms. Jody might not intend “Humping Santa” to sound as sexy it does (he works hard, has a bent back…), but never mind. I feel the heat from this soul.

JMaq raps about those lonely urges from our hero in “Get It.” A psychological peek behind the curtain.

In Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains’ “Jingle Jingle” the gifted one is only looking for a girlfriend. He’s courting, if clumsy. Fun folk.

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Santa’s creepin’!

Santa got caught smoochin’ around and got smacked a bit. “Santa’s Movin’ On” ‘cuz of it (and for other reasons) according to Homer and Jethro. Folksy country.

“Santa’s Got a Wish List” is classy R+B euphemism from J. Anthony Brown. It’s food oriented, so, you know.

Rich Evans claims, with dirty blues, “Santa Knows Where All the Bad Girls Go.” Apparently it’s on some list.

Andrea Gower country rocks the children’s tale “Big Bad Wolf Santa.” He’s on the hunt, so keep your receipts!

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He’s still stealing girlfriends!

Jimmie’s in the Basement gets stuck in a loop when “Santa Stole My Girlfriend.” Santa seems to respond to this folk country accusation, but expect no resolution.

Ryan Shields adds to the oeuvre with another “Santa Stole My Girlfriend.” And now SHE’s Mrs. Claus. Country for better or worse.

The Action! catches him in the act. “Santa Claus Stole My Girlfriend” comes in pop flavors, now with more Ska!

Meme Roads gets more specific with “Cajun Santa Stole My Creole Girlfriend.” The cajun is mild seasoning here.

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Keep it in your pants, St. Nick!

Lil Poverty Angels rap and rattle “Santa’s Got Side Chicks.” Don’t blame the playa, blame the beard.

MANNURSE X YUNG FREETHROW (FT. DRAKE) chat, rather than rap, through “Ho Ho Ho.” Many inappropriate gift ideas are listed. Let’s continue.

More rap parody from jennyinstereo who portrays a hounddawg Santa with a trail of conquests and STDs in “Christmas Back.”

Daniel Dennis starts with kidsong, but “Santa Wants a Ho Ho Ho” sneaks pop country into the indelicacies of the North Pole.

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Santa’s not done with his lustful ways, neither!

Again! Bobby Parker grills up the blues for “Sandy Claw Stole My Woman.” Why oh why oh why!

Another again! Crusty Jugglers recount the honkytonkin’ blues of coming home from cross-country trucking and finding “Santa’s Boots” under the bed. Man.

Pressure 28 punk out “Santa, That’s My Wife” with indignation and chagrin. Pogo!

“MY BABY DONE RUN OFF WITH SANTA CLAUS” is the hand-clapping retro rock by JESUS OLDMAN you might want to spend some time with.

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Santa isn’t just loved, he’s loving. He’s after all the womens! (And several of the mens as well.)

This is a familiar topic from before. Let’s expand our susses.

Again! Chris and Bri set up the he-said/she-said torch song “Santa Claus Stole My Girlfriend” with classic comedy writing. If only he’d known Santa was single!

“Santa Stole My Girlfriend” from The Maine indies the trauma (you bitch!), while blaming the self (I should’ve known). Regret runs deep.

Aaron Trippin brings the full force of modern electric country to declare “It’s a Good Thing Santa Ain’t Single” or else he’d be Jolene all over the world.

Thee Elfmen rockabilly about that “Cruel Yule” when he took Baby away. Sound slick, but it ain’t cool

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Let’s just get to the consummation of woman and myth.

Covering up a torrid affair? Blame that guy who is okay to drop by at night! But Unckle Eddie realizes CSanta Claus don’t come in July in “Summertime Santa.” Overly electric blues.

“Rollin’ in the Sheets” is the BLUE ALERT parody of ‘Rollin’ in the Deep’ but with Mr. Christmas making two to tango. Fizzbitch-goon goes all amateur out.

Fred Schneider & the Superions stage the sex act with Santa in “Santa Je T’aime.” It’s not so much a song as an exercise in voyeurism.

On the other mitten, Betty & Jack pretend to play garage rock badly with “I Don’t Want to Fuck You (Santa Claus).” Oh, and BLUE ALERT.

In fact, there’s not enough heterosexual encounters with that jolly old elf. So let’s gay one more time for the rock’n’roll “Sexy Santa” by Red Vs Blue.

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When Santa’s done with you–? What then?

Uncle Eddie (feat. Joy) feels left and “It was Santa Claus.” Mostly this is about getting nothing for Xmas, but the blues are comprehensive. And there may be touching.

“Santa Left Me (On Our Last Date)” blubbers out Sheila Powers. Rock to cry over.

“Santa Broke Up with Me on Christmas” is the experimental garage psychedelia from Stone Cold. Wah.

BrikLikesChicken is more poractive with the silly electronica “I Wanna Break Up with Santa Claus.”

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Altogether now! WE ALL LOVE SANTA!

“Oh Santa (We Love You)” is Eden Riegel’s honkytonk adjacent easy listening call out to the Big Guy.

Dave Dudley quiets us down with a little story about “Reverend Deacon,” the pastor of a poor neck of the woods. He prays, the kids sing how much they love Santa, and happy materialism follows. Half spoken country.

Everybody shout out: “We Love Santa!” Why Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Michael Bates) punctuate the hard hitting blues pop with FM morning show sfx, we’ll never know. Zany, wot?

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Who would fall for this fat, old guy?!

Maybe it’s just the wanton shopper who associates Santa with the sexy things she wants for Xmas. In Yulelog’s “Naughty List” the propositions include Mrs. Claus (with a double dildo), and rubbing his ‘baby Jesus ’til the eggnog flows.’ BLUE ALERT!

Or, she fell for him ‘cuz she IS Mrs. Claus, and you didn’t know–(?) The Skivvies (they appear in underwear) mash up several carols for the odd tale of “Santa’s Baby.” That changes everything.

What would be worse is when “Santa’s My Daddy.” The cast of ‘Naughty… but Nice’ take turns with a daughter and a son. But the implications are still oogy.

Dysfunctional Family Band deals with the domestic abuse violence “When I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus“–and so did Dad! Jolly light pop, but what a mess.

Cyndi Lauper recounts what could be the most famous faller for Father C with the seasick ragtime-lite pop “Minnie and Santa.” Girl be crazy. This is one of my favorites.