Side Nose Fingerer

Worth repeating: The Caroleers kidsong the head scratcher “Ten-Thousand Santa Clauses (But Not One Gift for Me).” The rhythm works. The mumps don’t help.

Loretta Lynn got mad back in 1966 when the disappointment of an empty Christmas caused her to country ejaculate “To Heck with Ole Santa Claus.” She’ll get him! A (welcome?) update in rocking country comes via Sam Morrison Band.

More whimsy, but not less sorrow, comes from Private Eye Music’s “Where are You Santa Claus?” Bombastic big band pop.

Hey Santa Claus (You Son Of A Bitch)” Johnny O & The Jerks piss and moan with grungy yet jazzy garage. Just wanna know Why? Why’d you leave me out!

Sounds Of Blackness include in their musical The Night Before Christmas a tour de force of jazzy divinity “Santa Watch Yo’ Step.” This year he brought presents, but–

Polka barbershop from Henry Golis with The Jordanaires complains “Santa, You Forgot About Me Last Year.” How depressing can it be?! It’s polka!