On one side of crime: The Bilge Pumps shake down Santa (out of desperation) in “Jolly Old Saint Nicholas.” Kindergarten percussion, but the threats are grisly.
Dave Rudolf notes that “Santa Claus was Running Through Town.” It was a bad part of town. Guess what the cops thought when they saw him running?
On the other: BearRon pokes old folk with the banjo-tactic “When He (Santa) Comes.” He takes your stuff, including your car. You better insure!
Rollins Bell’s spoken word scene of the crime descripto “Santa the Thief” is the devolution of icon to con. Unplugged jazz guitar chaos in the background.
Richard Sponaugle has gotten some crummy gifts from his so-called friends. So he calls out “Come Quick, Nick” in order to get a great Santa present. In a country pop song peripeteia, Nick robs and beat him! Isn’t that always the way?
Weazeldust counts down the hours on Christmas Eve hoping for a peek. But, when he awakens too late, he cries out in rockabilly pop: “Santa Claus You Dirty Rat (Bring Back My Guitar).” That stealer even serenades him with it on the roof!
“Santa in a Ski Mask (Stick ’em up it’s Christmas)” starts with a brick through the window… Angry ska from 4 Aspirin Morning, however, makes the violent robbery worthwhile. Weee!