Year-round Yuletide oddities
The Hot Buttered Elves warn about not enough prep to play in the big sleigh. “Santa All Year Long” begins with a bad glue job, and ends with a fistfight in Vegas. Pop goes the whiskers.
Ken Jones uses the natural approach, growing his own in the ukulele comic folk “Santa’s Beard Song.” Amateur, yet precious.
Carbon Leaf also recounts the personal growth in the pop “LIVE” “Carter’s Christmas Beard.” It’s getting envious out there.
Pulling on the beard is just one more thing that happens because of a “Bahumbug Baby” in Dave Tough’s indie-pop cautionary tale.
Grampa’s got one of those Santa beards in JJ Heller’s pop/folk “Christmastime.” Not sure what’s so traumatic, but she insists we’ll all be fine in a week or two.
The Heebee-jeebees may be confused when they seek someone to “Arrest This Bearded Gentleman.” (To the tune of ‘God Rest Ye’.) They don’t seem to understand who this guy is. But then, the theme to Gilligan’s Island rears up. What? Now i’m confused! Skip-per-r-r-r!
“Must be Santa” checklists the features of Kringle (white beard is the primary), and it’s a children’s singalong staple. But when Bob Dylan powers up the polka machine and rocks the house, eyebrows must be raised. If you view the video, explain to me why Mr. Zimmerman has Barbra Streisand hair.
Recover with the micro-pop of Johnathan Mann’s “Creepy Santa Outside the Hair Salon.” Dude has written a song a day for years, so this is like thinking out loud for him.
In “The Ugly Sweater Song,” Henry Holyfield x DoeTheUnknown has a list longer than Santa’s beard. But gets R+B rap distracted by the titular jumper.
Miles Maxwell (feat. Gary Zimmer) tells THE REAL STORY of S.C. in “Santa Claus is Real.” He begins before his Santa beard could grow… but covers centuries quickly with pop song. And gets a bit extrapolative.
“Don’t Go Pullin’ on Santa Claus’s Beard” is the schtick-y country from The Oak Ridge Boys. Is this advice for good manners, or merely a way to keep off the naughty list?
More suspicion from Ryan Marchand in the form of the ukulele comic folk “Santa, Is Your Beard Real?” I mean, you smell like beef and cheese….
The Drop Shadows not only believes, but in pop “Solidarity With Santa Claus” they also grow beards (for December).
ESL Games brings us a silly way to teach adjectives to any child. But “Santa’s Beard” uses kidsong to create fluffy clouds of animal shapes on Father Xmas’s face, and now i’m scarred for life.
Floff play the nonsense word ploy for their light indie blue grass “Santa’s Beard’s Gone Grey.” Boom dicka adjicka. That’s good face fluff.
Willis ‘Daddy Wings’ Pinney & Reginald ‘Ras Regg’ Martin stomp the parang with their “Santa’s Beard.” It’s not only iconic, it’s itchy.
“Santa’s Beard is Stuck in the Chimney” IS a line in the Birthing Stirrups garage screamer. Santa’s still attached, too. But it all winds up all right.
BOOSB is the band’s name, as well as the name of their song: “Beating Off On Santa’s Beard (Beavue Cleavue cover).” This punk garage seems to think revenge is best served close. I wouldn’t….
Weird with a beard? Try The Lumberyard country caterwauling about “The One’s Who Dwell in Santa’s Beard.” As metaphors go, it went.
Santa’s Angry Elves reveal the real reasons circling “Santa’s Beard Conspiracy“: to cover up his hairlip. Tea spilled in this blues-rock!
Bluesy rock from Charlie William Boyd recounts tribulations up the wazoo from the big guy’s in “Long White Beard, Red Suit (Santa’s Lament).” He’s called names, he’s pulled over, and he’s soooo full of milk and cookies… Troubles!
Like my Santa-personating Snoopy T-shirt says ‘Chicks Dig the Beard.’ Jody Quine divas the pop “Got My Eye on You, Santa.” Mostly on the beard, the way she sells it.
Dadaist experimental word salad from Limp Dick and The New Christians, “Santa’s Sweaty Beard” seems to have no beard in it at all. Only vulgarity.
Perhaps all the mysteries of the holidays are powered by “Santa’s Magic Beard.” Stardeath and White Dwarfs approach psychedelia with their pop xylophone puffery.
“Santa Claus with His Long White Beard” is wacky big band reconstruction by Kathy Reid-Naiman. The wah-wah hatted trumpet is fine foolery. …and splat.
Lachlan MacLeod is greener ‘n the Grinch over “Santa’s Gnarly Beard.” Ukulele indie idolatry for Mr. C’s white stuff.
“Santa’s Beard” by Keith Pendergrast is hard folk kidsong about some psychedelic episode some kid had with worms, a Coke, and a cat. If it were just animals each day for 12 days, i might get it. But this nightmare (of what’s UNDER the jolly one’s chin) is no joke.
Christopher Smith’s kidsong takes us on an adventure through “Santa’s Beard.” The treasures in that mess (and i don’t mean last night’s dinner)! Some fun.
Preston Penn lead with their chins in the children’s rock’n’roller “Santa’s Beard” from 1965. He always wears it, kids. In case you were wondering.
The Quaint & The Curious turn green (and incarcerated) over the comparisons betwixt their own and Santa’s. The ukulele easy listening plodding seems at odds with the unfairness that “Everyone Seems to Love Santa’s Beard.”
Whale Holiday Marching Band served up a song parody of Cake’s ‘Short Skirt/Long Jacket’ way back in ’01. “White Beard/Red Jacket” points to the prime features of the Great Giver. The Enablers and Friends wore it better in 2015.