I take and I take (songs from the internet) (and i poop all over them). So it’s time to give back (a little). For this month i will be featuring songs by mine own hand. And you can have at ’em. Or just have ’em. I hereby give blanket permission to use them however you like, with the sole caveat: let me know (so I can go after our song on the blog here).
Now BE AWARE that I have ZERO musical talent. But i throw down a mean sonnet. And i own a rhyming dictionary. And i’m awfully familiar with Xmas songs. So, we’ll see. (Please do respond with crits.)
BACKSTORY to “Tell Me About Christmas”: i’m a big hater of all those Christmas songs that merely laundry list the clichés of the holidays. Give me a story! or at least a hook! something different! But, in honor of that laziness, i dug into my sheaves o’ memorable phrases and stitched together some rhymes. I guess i picture this as a rap, since all i really GET from rap is the rhyme. No narrative flow mostly, just some bangin’ metrical observations–in RHYME!
Tell Me About Christmas
Three Wise Men Three French Hens The Dickens Frankincense John McClain Old toy trains Savior reigns Windowpanes Santa's big scene In Hollis, Queens With Ovaltine A laugh it woulda been More mince pies My wandering eyes A throne of lies Shepherds arise Lord of Lords Jingle horse At the stores Major award! Mistletoe Let it snow Hot cocoa Do they know Eyes all aglow Fists with your toes Excelsis Deo Black Friday The Eskimo Way His birthday Yippee ki yay All the way Miniature sleigh Make Yuletide gay Bless us Jesus Christmas Chestnuts Krampus Fa Who Doraze What Child is this? Winter solstice My Christmas list Sprang from my bed No room for his head Marley was dead Looked like a pedd-ler Sugar plums Buttered rum Fum fum fum A rum pum pum pum Gold and myrrh Dressed all in fur Four calling birds Marshmallow world Jack Frost Santa Claus Cranberry sauce Poinsettias Glory to A chorus or two Riu Chiu Play for you Calling Yoo hoo! Away they all flew I oughta slug you! Charity Joy and glee Frah-jill-lee God rest ye In a pear tree Nativity Down in history Pajamas Fidelis Nicholas Festivus Hippopotamus
No, i don’t really get a ‘Didn’t Start the Fire’ thing from it.