Month: November 2022

Christmas Countdown: 4 wheels/feet

In a Stinkin’ hot December Melanie Gray travels Australia: Pack up my swag and head off Down a 4×4 trail road, Following the stars Where all the wisemen go. It’s all in the service of an “Outback Christmas Tree.” They’re more scary than Noble.

One of the reasons “Santa Stole My Girlfriend” was the ride. In this he sang/she sang, she barbs: So I know you have 4 wheel drive but…I left the car keys on the table–The sleigh is much more stable. Chris and Bri leave things up in the air, but this goofy pop/country is not turning back.

Thrice a Chuckle fell on the ice, hit his head, and saw a “Red Sled.” Others are skeptical of this rocking revelation–Even though it has four wheels, I know you know it’s real. Believe, you fools.

“Drivin’ Home for Christmas” Fralphie Jenkins realizes he’s forgotten something. Pop rocking the search I′m down on all fours, seeing what I see: I’d rather be home by the Christmas tree. Wotta revolution’ development.

I think there’s snow in “Winter Song” by Januzzi Watchmen. You see, when they pop harmonize: Four feet below you is the ground–i get the chills.

A charming rap take on the Grinch, Bswift’s “Stealing Christmas” tells the whole tale, introducing a girl named Cindy Lou No taller than 4 foot 2. She’s a Who, not a ho, bro.

Shivan has a whispery banjo fantasy in the folk “This Christmas.” That time, that kiss, leaving footprints in fours in the snow… ahh, love.

Christmas Countdown: 4 years/weeks/months/days/hours/seconds

Lord Ferzy seems to be recording in his car, but the rap/R+B story of “Christmas is Gonna be in Heaven Tonight” takes a turn with the memory: four years ago I was waiting on my own For you to wish me a Merry Christmas, which happened and happiness was had. But now, not so happy. Meaning–oh, no.

Aimee Mann BLUE ALERT leans into the excuse-making alt-pop “I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up for Christmas.” Four more weeks that couldn’t make any difference, Except maybe to you. Heard it all before. But it is melodic.

Five for Fighting plays with offbeats and voice cracking for “Policeman’s Xmas Party.” After an unexplained crime scene, 4 weeks later it’s still Raining in the Park, Marine with a gun guards my house after dark… Yeah, dark. And pop.

“Four Days to Go” from The Starshine Singers is kidsong from the elementary school stage. The days count down, the temp increases. Appropriate.

Travel this time of the year is not so merry: I’m spending 4 hours on a plane, yet again I’m losing 3 hours when I get there, but I don’t care, whisper-plains Asya Aydin in the hypnotic “I’m Coming Home.” Pop oddness.

All the innocent kids Are running around without cover For more than four seconds in “A Civilian Christmas.” Burmese Bombshells take an easy listening lounge approach to the wartime madness easing into festive gladness. My!

Christmas Countdown: 4 yo

The narrator in “Father Christmas” remembered believing in Santa when he was four. But in the modern days (of the ’70s) that icon gets no respect. The Kinks rock the not-quite-punk.

Skip Ewing tugs the heartstrings and country music guitar strings with the shameless orphan story of “Christmas Carol,” a three or four year old who breaks the heart of a mall Santa with adoptive consequences.

Dave Henninger gets more modern with a folk-infused country in “Merry Christmas to You.” The dear little one addressed is remembered as new born, When you were a little older–I would say around 3 or 4, and even today. Parental wonderment.

Driving through the Midwest, Nanci Griffith prefers “Shaking out the Snow.” Yet, she recalls in pop cum country, the mean prank one Christmas morn’ when I was four. My brother told me it was warm. This resulted in a deep seated pneumo-trauma. Shake it, girl.

Despite having heard some footsteps in the hall outside my door (The same ol’ Christmas trick my dad had played since I was four), the hero of Harry Connick Jr.’s “(It Must’ve Been Ol’) Santa Claus” does look outside… Big band magical shenanigans follow.

Loud Letters travels from the mysticism of being four to today when he’s on auto pilot. Alt-pop details something that’s “Like Christmas” but can never be again. Not like when a child. Bummer.

Christmas Countdown: 4:00 BLUE ALERT

Is 4 in the morning late or early? Zac Schultze Gang notices Just when I am thinking That the night is at an end, I end up in Coyotes and I’m there till 4AM in “A Medway Christmas.” That’s one of those ancient type locales in eastern England; so pop Brit rock.

Four o’clock, and I’m still up is also a problem for the poet-troubadour Cyrus Dali Vesuvala on his electric softt pop “Christmas Morning.”

Lil Kuzi recalls his Christmas List finally done I was up til four, when he heard a sound… But, BLUE ALERT it wasn’t nothing but his over imaginative conscience. “Saint Nick” lands like rap existentialism.

King Virtue couldn’t wait, so like most kids he’s up by 4 A.M. in “Christmas is My Favorite Holiday.” Fun rock with lots of pop music tinseled over it.

The Veras rock the family get-together, though Grandad‘ll be sound asleep by ten to four. “Have a Merry Christmas Time” is still a party and a half.

Destinee Maree is all about the home for the holidays. [Dinners at 4 and you better not be late.] She even swaps out boots, coats and rings off the gift list for the most precious things Love, life, family. “Everything” is lulling R+B sweetness.

Cainn9ne (feat. Trey K) raps the at-home life as well, but Granny out here baking cookies: We ate em after four–so there are house rules. “It’s That Time” may have multiple meanings.

The Revelator calls Joy over and over [Joy to the sunset at 4pm sharp], but it’s all ironic bleakness. “Joy to the Breakup (All I Want Christmas Is for You to Feel Bad)” is bitter pop from a dead place inside. Cool.

Silver Mouth notes the sun setting at a quarter past four, so maybe this siren pop is more southernly. Regardless “Hold On.”

Back to Christmas morning. The Stew Boys are begging BLUE ALERT! for Christmas off, but instead they’re up at 4 A.M. to “Make the Stew.” Hope you’re happy. The plodding pop makes me quite so.

Christmas Countdown: 5 measure up/down

Some songs can’t wait. Anthony Bvlgari is a bit succinct in his pop “Winter Break.” But here comes the 5, 4, 3, 2, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Get a calculator.

‘S not all kid-stuff. Motionless in White counts down in FULL BLUE ALERT the horrors you’ll get (from 5 to one) when “Santa’s Pissed.” Raging metal (that samples Family Guy).

“Secret Santa” from Geneve (feat. Leroy J Stillness) bilingually haunts us with bluesy pop to take us from the best of holidays: 5.4.3.2.1 Get ready for new years.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Let’s go; Let’s kiss under the mistletoe-Make this the last year that we’re only Christmas lovers, croons Tom Cridland in the jazzy pop “Christmassy Christmas Lover.” Almost cheesy.

I can count my blessings 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and You, sweet sings Jalen Jones with schlocky pop that still isn’t cheese. “By Christmas You’ll Be Mine” almost chants hypnotically the whole seduction.

Leona Lewis R+Bs “One More Sleep” from one to five for her baby to get home for the holidays (and presumably interrupt all sleep).

How tall? You must be a South Pole elf with your 5’0″ self, rap-plains Arthur Ray (feat OSOM Stretch) in the bitter “Baby Come Back (B4 Xmas).”

“Coming Home” for Christmas is a countdown for Lori Oz and her pretty folk music. From 18 miles to 10 to The sign says five more miles. Baby that’s not too far. Can’t wait.

Christmas Countdown: 5 more

Many a (rap) song mentions wanting a PS5, but i don’t care. A few carols allude to The Jackson 5. Whatevs. But we’re far from final with the fives.

Micah 5 mentions the prophet we celebrate, as told in the UK rapping “The Christmas Story.” Too many tea la las, but J.Walker from LTD is a clever freestyler, so okay.

The Mistletoe Tappers introduce themselves as lead “Roger the Polar Bear,” a multi-instrument penguin, and an arctic fox on drums. They rock the North Pole with an old-timer funk, Five encores later feeling high as a kite they bid adieu. Wild.

Just as weird, “The Serpent With a Star on His Head” allows a pagan approach to the birth of Christ. Sharks Teeth gets garage psychedelic with the symbolism: An inner-fire That you breathe With the five symbols on you. Ride it in glory.

“Bad Santa” from L-T Terror is earthy, urban rap full of flava and eccentric references far from me: Big beard, five pack, Saint Nick, Merry Christmas. Five pack? Was he in an accident?

The Teeth interjects into Shannon Sionna’s “Trap Santa” with more rap lasciviousness: Keep a bag on me: I’ma bring you four or five gifts; I’m sliding down your chimney Stuffing stockings nice and naughty.

More kinky, All Students have a Christmas plan: As I see right before me your toes–I’m gonna suck (aye) One toe, two toes, all five down. “MistleToes” to the tune of Pachelbel is a pervy party (kinda like rap).

Some examples of how not to behave As a Christian, begins Terry Silva in his “Christmas Songs.” Pretty pop itemizes many naughty acts: Get down, get dirty, man on man, Try and jizz on his nose, spank his butt with a pan; F*ck 5 married women, steal their poo Then post it to your neighbour and covet his good. Marvy-mas.

Pleasant Bud’s “Christmas Party” adventure begins well: Presented my host with five apples in pie. But then the girl’s leg falls off… Cute filking.

Upbeat ragtime from Scottish the romantidote: “(Have Yourself) A Very Maudlin Christmas” is all about the disappointment of crowded get-togethers–Is there anybody else whose sick of sleigh-bells? Those five same movies that you’ve seen a thousand times? I believe you know this one.

Jumpy punk from Michael M recalls the Pandemic times of 2020: “I’m Fine with the Fact That I’ve Ruined Christmas.” Five packs of coveted toilet paper is one of the gifts, so far as i’m concerned, he saved Christmas.

Frankie and the Lake County Collective also claim “I’m So Over Christmas” with even more perky country pop. Same five songs everywhere I go... well, stop on by the blog. Just saying.

Christmas Countdown: 5th

December 25th I’m chuggin on a 5th, raps YT (feat. The Don Smoke) in a boo… boogie woogie “A Haunting On Christmas.” Not sure the trapping and drinking is a good enough excuse for the pouring blood down the street. Guess they’re being naughty.

BLUE ALERT from Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (featuring Earl Sweatshirt, Tyler, The Creator, and Hodgy Beats) who also drank a fifth of eggnog and spewed the obscene hate that is “Fuck This Christmas.” Blackout drunk rap poetry.

The height of the romantic December season was the 5th we got it in and then we made some cookies. But it went downhill by the 10th. So it’s “Lonely for Christmas” a shrill alto soul ugly cry. Aryah got some chops and i’m not mad at the arrangement.

Lagoona Bloona is happy she got you for Christmas. No gift off 5th Avenue compares. Which is why it’s gonna be a “Blow Christmas.” Sassy drag queen R+B.

Old school rap from DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince, “Family Christmas” is about people: You cant buy happiness at Sax 5th Ave. Dance, Grandma!

Bebopping pop from LostAlone also sets the sights from Little Italy, Rockefeller Center, and 5th Avenue in the hyper “I Want Christmas Always.” Dingdong.

The funkiest dig at 5th Avenue comes from Sarah Pillow. She suggests moving west past the crushing crowds for a “Hell’s Kitchen at Christmas Time.” Suggestive it is.

Christmas Countdown: 5 & 10

Ever since ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” mentioned looking into the Five and Ten (to shop, y’cheapskate), discount stores pop up in Xmas carols. Consider the punk version here (Thanks for making it nearly unrecognizable, The Wheelz). Or even “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Hanukkah.” BShep doesn’t mess much with the lyrics, though.

Bill Anderson dredges up the 1969 country hokum in “My Christmas List Gets Shorter Every Year.” See, in the good ol’ days most of the presents just came from the five and dime. Now, this broken family can’t get none. Spoken heartbreak.

While we’re talking money, Hoyt vanTanner recounts the Christmas at the Expose Cabaret in Monkeys Eyebrow where the stranded motorist spent “Christmas With Carol.” The Madame distributes to the strippers their Xmas bonus: Here’s gas stations finest five dollar scratch offs. Funny country.

“Last Call Christmas” is also stuck in a bar. She’s out with someone else, see. Shelby Lee Lowe is laying out fives, drinking to for to get drunk. Juke joint country.

Elliott Yamin only wants everyone to have “A Very Merry Christmas.” Oh, And five cents every song we’d sing, oh. Not too greedy. Disco pop.

While shopping for your “Christmas Sweater” don’t forget to stop at at Starbucks: Wondering what color is on the new holiday cups; I hope you remembered to bring your red card–Save five percent and put more in the tipjar. The River’s Edge has your whole spending trip planned. Sweet blues pop sing-along.

S.T.R.O.U.P. apologizes in masterful rock’n’roll: Here is my gift I got for you (At the five and dime); please don’t kill me right now… So “Merry Christmas (Sorry I’m Late).”

Dirty Robots tell the story of living frugally with some dirty blues rock and a “5$ Christmas Tree.” Finn-tastic.

Christmas Countdown: 5 rings

Yes, the big ‘number’ in ’12 Days’ is the ring count. Such an odd jewelry insertion into a bird/servant mix. It got noticed and celebrated.

MaynEax wants to know “What U Want 4 Christmas” ‘cuz it’s prolly HER. See, she’s sporting Five golden rings, Got the bling, Got all the cha ching–Like what you see? She’s gonna rap like that.

Brian Lubucki is too interested in you to worry about setting the scene: Snow falls and the choir sings Bout love and the five gold rings. That should do it. Harmonic rap to make “It’s Christmas” NOT stand out from the billion other holiday songs.

Also listing, Toby Young mixes Five golden rings and the TV, so at least imma wondering wassup. Gradual garage makes “Here for Christmas” playable.

Chance the Rapper and Jeremih paint a more personal portrait: Bucket full of wings, Trying to give about five golden rings, Balling for the chills, Drinks on, get your smoke on. Rapping with vocal exercises mixed in give us a “Chi-Town Christmas.”

Starshine Singers butt in with the antic kidsong “Where’s the Ring?” As in: Five rings are not for buying. One’s missing so we’re crying. Count along!

Stock Kings use Five gold rings as a placeholder rhyme for Indio Palm Springs. Just one of the ragtime rocking places “Santa Don’t Always Bring Snow on Christmas Day.” Cha cha cha, indeed.

Maybe it’s just more present. FaZe Kay electronic filters his “A FaZe Christmas Song” wishlist with: New LV, hell yeah, Givenchy-venchy, oh yeah, Five gold rings, hell yeah, Lambo or the ‘Rari, yeah… Silly rap.

Girlfriend management can be much: She said who is Saint Nick? all she want is Saint Laurent: Four birds that are calling or 5 rings that are all golden–-Imma make sure Santa brings you everything you want. Hrtbrkblake’s got it bad; raps all over himself in “Mistletoe.”

And Michael Ferrera offers I would buy five golden ring If it’s change your mind… But “This Christmas (I’m Singin’ on My Own),” so i guess this indie pop gambit benefits him not at all.

Mark Erelli excels with the blue grass aftermath twanger “Ain’t No Time of the Year to be Alone.” By himself he decides: I want yule logs, reindeer, egg nogg, good cheer, Five golden rings, Not Kris Kringle’s singles therapy. Coping are we?

Christmas Countdown: 5 hours, minutes

Five hours can be an inconvenience during the hurly burly of the holidays. Andrew Erlagen country whines about how more family will arrive; We’ll all hear from uncle bob and his three hour drive And how all because of traffic It was closer to five in “That’s How You Know It’s Christmas.” Pretty comfy song overall.

Time can get away from you. Macklemore raps And now we stringing the lights up… Five hours later, we stringing the lights up. “It’s Christmastime” is some kind of inside joke for this crazy-ass family. Get it?

Shark Uppercut is BACK with holiday side effects. “Five Past Turkey” is the electronic warning that this guy is second-slice-of-pie done. Heed, all.

Pleasant Grove is wondering where the hell are you? Wishing for “Five Minutes of Snow…” But the snow will never come. Garage bummer.

Miss Freedia had a time when she “Smoked Out with Santa.” By the time the munchies hit: Imma take you to some food cuz I know its finger lickin’–We went to Man-Chu we got the 5 minute chicken. More parody foolishness than actual rap.

Big Easy is feeling it the next morning: Can I please sleep in for just 5 more–5 More minutes is really all I need To fill this sleepy heart with glee. Tiny Dancer offers to smack him, though. Country jounciness for “On This Beautiful Christmas Day.”