Christmas Countdown: 100 (not)

Sometimes a number is a measure of negation, and i don’t mean 100 below freezing.

*NSYNC don’t need no 100 presents because “All I Want is You This Christmas.” The usual boy band folderol.

Audobon (feat. Jeremy) gets full BLUE ALERT with “All I Know,” a Christmas rap that goes for drugs and sex, and not the hundred birds you be singing about, fool.

Checking out 100 Young Moneys Money ain’t nothing, Tyga (feat. Gata) get comical BLUE ALERT in “Christmas Story.” Irony abounds in this raging re-telling. Be ready.

Tracherous Three goes kid-friendly for the Santa vs. kid debate/rap “Xmas Rap (Uncensored).” The kid can name a hundred presents I didn’t get. Instead–G.I. Joe and cheap shoes…. A bit funny.

I could open one hundred presents Underneath the Christmas Tree But you know that’s not the essence Of what Christmas means to me claims Myra in the rocking pop of “Christmas Isn’t Christmas (Since You Said Goodbye).”

A Living Hell is The Boxmasters take on festive folk rock for “Slower Than Christmas.” A hundred ignorant cousins with their pointy headed hats Have driven me as crazy as a hundred shit house rats is the hollering verdict. Ouch.

Father Guido Sarducci kvetches about Christmas songs in “100 Bulbs on the Christmas Tree (Part 1).” This spoken word comedy with kids carousing in the background is an essential part of a complete novelty Christmas music collection. Be advised, it’s from a time when we had more patience for comedy. Then maybe Part 2.

As if this year ain’t yet taken your all One hundred reasons why you should withdraw This year Christmas is the last straw begins the elegiac rock of “Christmas is the Last Straw.” The Revelator takes the side of depressed Scrooges everywhere.