Year-round Yuletide oddities
Cry Baby Hank has a nose outta joint in “Christmas 2010.” His metal tinged rock seems to indicate he’s been done wrong by something female. The holidays do not ameliorate his anguish. So… BLUE ALERT
Twice as BLUE ALERT but violently non-apologetic about it Death Squad Kills rants more than raps “Christmas Final Fight 2010.” The chip outweighs the shoulder.
Luckier, DRTYUNCL remembers a BLUE ALERT love connection from “Christmas 2010,” an upbeat rap.
A nod to that Mayan apocalypse once again, “Christmas 2011” by Molly ‘Danger’ Bracknell lays light folk on the doom. Hey! Live for the moment!
Back to rap. This time a showdown ‘twixt Kuniza, Bizarre, and Swift recorded Christmas 2011–so ‘expect topicality up the wazoo. “Kill Zone Freestyle” gives credit to D12.
True story from Tom Dyer, “Propane Santa” rocks the encounter with a bedraggled red-wearing someone who just vanishes. But, it happened.
2012 was notable for yet another doomsday scenario. The Mayans apparently ran out of calendaring for whatever came after 12/21/2012. So getting to Christmas was not in the cards. Or was it…?
Not mentioning the year, “Mayan Christmas 2012” is a hoot of an excuse for why I got you nothing for Christmas. Cowbell pop from King Everything.
New Justice Team also expect you to know the year with their lounge-tastic “Mayan Doomsday Christmas.” A little premature, but waddya expect from The Something Awful guys?
Bill Burns chants a charming “(Have a) Merry Mayan Doomsday” carol for the attention deprived. Tom tom along!
Jeff Govednik leans on ‘Blue Christmas’ for his “Mayan Christmas.” This club recording has a bit more research/personality than the others. Paints a picture, including regretful dark corners.
Polly Wolf gets in and out with their sweet pop “Apocalypse Not Now.” Were the Mayans lyin’?
Karl Miehl gets amusing with his pop folk “Christmas 2012 (The Mayans were Wrong)” and gets me right in the funny bone. The talent’s in the lyrics, boys and girls.
September Stories regrets “Christmas 2012” with downbeat pop about how you BLUE ALERTed her when we shoulda all been friends.
The Deadbeats prophecy death, zombies, and needing nothing for “Christmas 2012.” Garage grunge for today.
Weird timpanic rap from Tramaine Hopkins Unhs and rhymes that “Christmas Rocks 2012.” Discouraging.
More bummer from Glove Compartment from whom 2012 is when “Christmas is Ruined.” The old marrieds are miserable and the holidays make it worse with piano-heavy pop/rock. (Reminds me of the theme to Cheers.)
Bugle and Street lay out creole with “Jolly Christmas,” a hollering parang (‘m flashing back to Bobcat Goldthwait) that–i swear–mentions the year somewhere.
Prog rock rulez! “Christmas 2012” is on a plastic sign that appears in the relics of a past age. Spooky mysticism from ifsounds. Guitar solo!
Another annoying family Christmas letter, The Holderness Family begins their “Xmas Jammies” music videos. Proud parents with lots of accomplishments for the whole group for this year. Ya gotsa be impressed.
Rap pain from OnCue, “After Life” is a letter to a loved one about loss and the motivation to achieve further. BLUE ALERT and two hanky recommendation.
For the realest BLUE ALERT KidCrusher’s “The Christmas Nightmare (Grinch Rap 2013)” swims in a sea of swears for no particular relief, just to do it. Exhausting.
So take me back to 2013 Christmas Eve jammin’ til’ d morning
Parangin’ door to door with Los Hombres Sexuales
That’s Christmas to me…
…to borrow a phrase. Sarah Seuky & Inzey poke through slow parang with their “December Dream,” more Chicago jazz than Trini beat. But, finally, an original Christmas song. Thanks.
When you’ve suffered a loss around Christmas, that becomes a focal point of the holiday. “#Remembering” from Son Scotty raps that loss while clinging to Grammy ambition.
To turn it around, The Holderness Family is back with “#JammieTime,” family home movies that make them seem better than us–with R.E.M. music to back them up.
“Christma$ Twenty Fourteen” may not speak the date, but honors the time with a pop/rap mashup torn from interior sentimentality. Jay Stansfield is xylophones of fun.
Well, it’s Christmas 2015 in this shit-eating corporate dream, mourns The Felice Brothers with folk peevishness in “Carriage.” Everything sucks, and BLUE ALERT–if you hadn’t noticed.
Prefer sunshine? Hail The Holderness Family who ‘give back’ to their fans with “#Elfed,” a parody rap attempt to trend sudden jammie dancing in public. Thanks to their posted past accomplishments i know now they were spoofed on SNL.
Or just odd–?? fredfloston begs Santa “Don’t Break My Heart (Break My Balls)” in true electronic pop gonzo awfulness. This message is Stardate: December third, 2015.
Experimental cool from Zachary Byner’s “Scary Merry Christmas” hearkens back to that murderer in the house 2015. Adulterated (at least childish) pop that’s troubling more than scary.
“2016 Hurray Hurray for Christmas” is so happy the election is over (goodbye to Trump and Hillary!). But that was short sided, not a good look for folk. Mostly about Greg Helmer’s friends and family, not the world at large.
A parody from BSam “Don’t Worry, Be Jolly” also mentions how shocking this year is–
So, back to The Holderness Family with a “Merry Christmas 2016” music rap: all the positive news of the year including the Cavs, Gilmore Girls, ‘Hamilton,’ the mannequin challenge, and a new puppy. The big deal is IT’s ALL IN ONE TAKE. Infectious.
From Runaway, The Musical “The World Keeps Spinning” begins with Christmas 2017. It’s depressing, but a show tune.
Vampire Weekend sings “How Long” in 2019 about how it seems like Halloween since Christmas 2017. This little pop hand plucker synths existential angst into dreamy verse. As it should be.
The Holderness Family returns with their “Christmas Jammies 2017” this time with fan videos celebrating triumphs throughout the white nation.
It all started for Malinda’s honesty in 2017. Refugees, student loan debt, and forest fires vs. ice bucket challenge, the eradication of polio, and hope make for “An Honest Christmas Song for 2017.”
Web nastiness vs Harry+Megan, Melinda touts and tortures the year with her “An Honest 2018 Christmas (help).” Return to the thrilling days of yesteryear with fine a cappella vocals.
In a similar vein The Holderness Family, a professional video excreter, take M&M music and rap out their yearly accomplishments in “Christmas Jammies 2018“–which are much more uplifting than the news.
Neon Star Sky has one of those big-things-happened around Xmas time numbers with their New Age “Realization.” 2018 and 2015 are both holidays of epiphanies, both negative. Bummer. But it’s my kinda musical-type vibrating.
“Deck/Wreck the Halls” by Big Eazy & Tiny Dancer (feat. Double $ $lick) is a handy comedy bit on a trad carol (with fun switcher parody 2 minutes in), but the boys do not want this to be the worst Christmas party of 2018. So, mm-kay.