The tenth episode of the tenth series of the Mystery Machine sleuths was the usual ice creature for Christmas. But the chase scene music by Hevy Trevy was pretty boss. “Santa Claus, Santa Claus.” Far out, man.
Month: September 2018
As Seen on TV: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy/Clone High/Invader Zim
A Cartoon Network show that never caught on (too hip?), but was reincarnated at least twice, season 4’s ender was jolly romp to cure Santa of vampirism with Death and the Head Vampire (Malcolm McDowell) trailing the way to the North Pole. As is their wont, these mythoids sing while trekking (cf. ‘The Wizard of Oz’). Thus “We’re Off,” a snippet of silliness (near the end of this cute clip).
More envelope pushing, this time from MTV. Clones of historical icons are raised in a gov’t facility, and go through awkward puberty all at the same time. But they have limited cultural influences. No actual Christmas, although they celebrate clone day with lamb tacos, cabbage patch dances and the holiday’s figurehead, a pirate named Snowflake Jake, who brings children delicious spices if they threaten him just right.
You’re getting this, right?
Don’t believe me! Try a mock album of “Snowflake Songs” by the JFK clone.
A Nick Toon that didn’t get off the ground (or enslave the planet), a dark allegory for the hopelessness of man, a so-so sci-fi apocalypso (of cult proportions)… the end of the series was the usual Santa as doombot. (Well, it’s usual NOW.) “Bow Down” from the series was reprised at this year’s SanDiego Comicon by the creators (about minute 8), and also gets a cover by youtuber Meri Amber.
As Seen on TV: Jimmy Neutron
A less Nazi-sounding Dexter, the boy genius of Nickolodeon has more realistic playground and family problems than the Cartoon Network version. But he still disagrees with Santa on a scientific basis. In his second season in ‘Holly Jolly Season’ he walks a million miles in the jolly old elf’s slippers to learn his lesson, but not before first suffering the indignities of grade school adulation for these ridiculous myths. “Basking in the Warmth of Christmas” is a jazzy show tune of faith vs. doubt.
As Seen on TV: SpongeBob SquarePants
The biggest moneymaker from Nickolodeon ever isn’t just a can of rocks shaken for the lovely sound it makes. It’s also musical.
The eighth season featured a all-singing formulaic story about Plankton taking over, blah blah. ‘It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!’ is stop motion which throws the surrealism out of whack but is otherwise serviceable. Stick to the album.
“Santa Has His Eye on Me” opens the story with just the right amount of repetitive mush and exposition.
These iconoclastic kid bits often push genres. Patrick the starfish’s “Pretty Ribbons and Bows” is a ’60s rock ‘splosion of ADHD fun.
Limp country from Sandy the Squirrel in “Ho Ho Hoedown.” I think i’ll stick to the better stuff.
The bad guy gets a real showtune carol in “Christmas is Mine.” Mwah ho ho ho.
The Brit pop anthem to kids “Don’t be a Jerk (It’s Christmas)” is the big hit, though. Falsetto ululate, all!
As Seen on TV: Tweenies
UK’s answer to Teletubbies was the pop song children in a nursery teaching and learning and coloring. Their album drops in ’04 and at least one song climbs to the top 100 of the Brit seasonal charts.
Starting out is the oo-ooh backbeat doodle “I Believe in Christmas.” Well, i believe in a formula for kidsong–fulfilled it. Ditto “Can’t Wait for Christmas.”
Reflective pop rears its stiff upper head with “Light up the World.” Social consciousness: check.
Most infectious is kidboppop “Fab-A-Rooney Christmas.” You know what’s coming….
As Seen on TV: Dora the Explorer
If Carmen Sandiego can fool people into learning, surely the prepubescent Latina can as well.
Most of the ‘songs’ on the album Dora’s Christmas are either trad carols or children’s pap without any mention of any variation of any holiday.
Notable exceptions to our disappointment include the infrequently heard Espanol Christmas Eve carol “Nochebuena.” Just this much short of mariachi, but a bit of the fun.
If you know the show, you know the klepto ‘coon and his problems. So Dora’s “No Swiping on Christmas” should come as no surprise. Melodramatic interactive show tune! Shout answers to her for goodness’ sake. (And get that varmint some therapy; did you hear his excuse?)
As Seen on TV: Pokémon
The highest grossing media franchise of all time does indeed have a Christmas album, Virginia. It varies from smelly schmaltz (“I’m Giving Santa a Pikachu for Christmas“)
to annoying preteen pop (“Christmas is the Coolest Time of the Year“)
to oddly affecting altpop (“I Keep My Home in My Heart.”)
The all out unabashed commercial fan grab is “Pokemon Christmas Bash.” Hello, Pallet Town!
My favorite (?) is the snarky Meowth snarling “Nobody Don’t Like Christmas.” All holidays come under fire. But, wait for the final twist. Show tune vaudeville.
As Seen on TV: Ed, Edd n Eddy
Naturalism is a form of theater that celebrates the bottom rung of humanity, illustrating and educating us to the indomitable human spirit despite adversity. Or makes us laugh at how stupid and ugly the poor are.
The suburban losers of this show at least have an Old World immigrant to think of as less than them. Rolf sings us the “Yeshmiyek Song” which, while not a reverse of Christmas, is a holiday favorite about food and hygiene from a mythical creature of a different land.
As Seen on TV: Gullah Gullah Island
The highest rated preschool show on Nickolodeon in the the ’90s was this critically acclaimed cultural heritage honorarium. Each show was full of songs, including the Xmas episode with Sea Island versions of classic carols.
But they did bless us with a short, sweet encore “Merry Christmas to Ya,” one of the few songs that allows it’s a show wishing an audience cheer.
As Seen on TV: Dexter’s Laboratory/Johnny Bravo/Power Puff Girls
New ‘toons on the Cartoon Network cable channel showcased outsider rage and complicated failure as winkity-wink ironic lessons for hep tots.
“Dexter’s Christmas Rap” reveals what an evil boy genius thinks he knows about the supposed Santa Claus. He will later be humiliated with Truth.
The ape shaped Elvis emulator had a pratfall-filled set of loser adventures rivaling Andrew Dice Clay in cluelessness.
In 2001, Johnny raced to the North Pole because he forget to post his letter to Santa. Donny Osmond, in a return to the cartoon series, assists… in song! “A Johnny Bravo Christmas Song.” Just a snippet in this excerpt.
This prestigious, counterculture cutsie slugfest had a decent holiday special, but i’m drawn to the holiday commercial with song.
Ladies and Gentlemen, “We Three Girls.” Frantic carol parody.