Month: July 2017

In One’s Cups for the High Holidays

The full drunk is like the full sleep, you never feel that moment of slip into surrender. But you’ll know later.

For now the songs are loud and uninhibited.

The Bob and Tom Band make parody of ‘Winter Wonderland’ a la Dudley Moore’s ‘Arthur’ character with the drunk sounding “It’s Christmas and I Wonder Where I Am.” This is Dr. Demento approved humor, so i like it too.

If you call cool cool rockabilly uninhibited (i do). “Drunk on Christmas” by Overgrown RocknRoll might be an exception, as drunk here refers to a giddy glee Brough on by the joyous time of the year–hell, just dance.

Government Zero bellows “Drunk for Christmas” with a few expletives and plenty of synonymy for drunk (including today’s word). It’s roiling Brit rock with punk bitters, that’s what that is.

Cruddy Pants the Clown gets reflective, if not in tune, with “The Little Clown is Drunk Again” purportedly about his own sick self. It’s an humble parody of ‘Little Town’ with disgusting consequences. Underplayed is the best i can call it.

Brent Burns, a parrothead humorist, details his confessional “I Got Drunk at the Office Christmas Party” sounding half in the bag while singing. It’s half Hawaiian slack key, half party oompah, but mostly queasy.

Hammered for the High Holidays

Most Christmas drinking goes right for the gusto, full mental jacked-up.

But at least one little ditty or two can remember what it’s like to be just a little lit.

Lt. Col. Mike Dickinson stairways us to heaven with his “Holiday Song.” It’s for the boys, so be cool. Five minutes in he’s doing stand up. (You might skip the next song about a flashing sgt.)

Honey Honey uses jazz and a long list of cocktails to slur verisimilitude into “Christmas Tipsy.” Could you hand me that again? Whoops. Gettin’ sexy now.

Gassed for the High Holidays

Including the whole Flo-chart in one song doesn’t overcrowd the lyrics. All you have to do is say: drink, drank, drunk.

The Ryan & Amy Show present Moms over Miami with “Drunk Christmas,” an hilarious dive into desperation and despair. The odd lounge electronica pairs well with the acid flashes during the so-called instrumental.

Drunk Sprungy (with Innuendo) walk us through the bottom rung disappointment of the holidays for dangerously disenfranchised blokes in “A Drunk Sprungy’s Christmas Carol,” only one step on the action list being alcoholic consumption. Rap comes from the oppressed and downtrodden, and white as Drunk Sprungy is, he owns this.

Class act Dave Rudolf parodies ‘Tannenbaum’ with a falling down specificity named Tom. “Tom Got Bombed” is a sordid saga of salaciousness worth singing about.

Bethany & Randy Laskowski party a bit more disco with their “Drunk on Christmas,” walking us through Eve, Day, and on and on. Sounds like they’re egging themselves on.

Flako for the High Holidays

The idea of observing the drinker lose volubility as vivaciousness increases is not the discovery of youtube circa 2003. The hilarious descent into stupor is an old nightclub bit at least as famous as Fay McKay’s Vegas routine “The 12 Drinks of Christmas.” Yeah it goes on forever, but do you feel bad for laughing at her incapacity?

Less successfully with the same formula is Frankie Ford. He takes forever to get going and even longer to get funny.

Danny McMaster applies a bit of the old Australian on his adaptation. He slushes right away, or is that his Ozzie accent?

Bill Barclay adds Scottish burr to his. The whole thing needs subtitles. Andy Ramage‘s exact same one comes with explanation.

Jeremy Lion rounds out the Empire with his working class British walrussing, this time with imbibing on stage. Eh wot?

Most fun is Axis of Awesome with “Drunk at Christmas.” Their big band expression that wanders, droops, drawls, and slumps in the corner indecipherably.

Embalmed for the High Holidays

About my favorite toasting Christmas song is from Narrative Crows. “Christmas Drinking Song” is dreamlike and transporting, a magic cocktail ride. These Montrealeans blend folk and alt rock into a heavenly choir of our shortcomings, pairing that with a hypnotic video of arctic foot and traffic fails the may leave you hypnotized. View responsibly.

Drunk as a Fiddler’s Bitch for the High Holidays

Perhaps a bit more conciliatory, Bob Nevin diagrams the road to ruin with his “Drunk this Christmas” half heartedly. It doesn’t seem like a done deal, but that may be the folk-rock talking. I think a kind word to the gentleman might change his mind.

Great White Caps also is unconvincing while the lead singer’s voice cracks and changes through the stress of living up to the garage rock band image. These partiers in “I’m Gonna Get Drunk for Christmas” appear to be giffing through the motions. Or they can’t really sing.

Paul Sanchez slows it way down with gentle jazz for his apologetic “I Got Drunk this Christmas.” It’s not the blues, but it sounds like he’ll wake up with them tomorrow.

The Dan Band has ulterior motives for disappearing the drinks: “Get Drunk & Make Out This Christmas” explains how a man builds up the courage to negotiate for the gift he wants. Some uncoordinated unwrapping ensues. Pop country Irish candy.

 

Drunk as an Fresh-Boiled Owl for the High Holidays

BLUE ALERT Corey Taylor of the extremely discourteous Slipknot poses an if-then antecedent-consequent in his surprisingly singable “XM@$.” Many forms of intoxication are equated with many forms of this holiday. CT needs relief from them all.

Also sprightly suggesting an alternative to Mass, Zax Vandal posits “Drunk on Christmas Cheer” to those who wish to know. Rockin’.

Red Alert slurs and gargles their “Having a Drunken Christmas” like they’re in the midst of muddleheadedness. But it’s a party plan for meeting the holidays head down. For those who like their punk over orchestrated.

Crocked for the High Holidays

Toasting is peer pressure for alcoholism. Can you say no, sneak a ginger ale, toss it in the potted plant?

Michelle Unkle just wants to talk about it. After a couple minutes she pokes fun at ‘Jingle Bells’ with “Let’s Get Drunk on Christmas!” It’s a sad processional that leads one more towards temperance. Wah.

Marco & Jannik invoke ’70s party rock with their “Let’s Get Drunk on Christmas.” The driving percussion, the rasping vocals, the incoherent beat–it’s like getting drunk. Whee.

Backyard cowboy Arnold Connelly tries to marry honky tonk with dixieland in his “Gonna Get Drunk This Christmas.” With some tweaking, he may have a hit, but this is cry for help. Wha–?

Chris Ilett finds more and more reason to indulge as he sings a British raging music hall style ballad to booze “Let’s Get Drunk This Christmas.” It’s an epic journey through the liquor cabinet of misery. If you don’t believe me, read the reviews included in the opening of the video. Whoa.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcgrX9UdmFg

Blotto for the High Holidays

Promises of bottomless bottle tipping may be a cry for help, or a comic reflection of our denial of a serious social problem. But gotta sing about it.

BLUE ALERT Killfuck rap out their disappointment with traditional holiday observations and figure a “Drunk Christmas” is enough to dump on the tree skirt. It’s angry, but not drunk angry. I read present envy.

Also fed up with the bourgeoisie are Tribe of the Vague offering “Drunk for Christmas” as a reasonable reaction to the mercantile madnes. It’s UK pop flipped on its arse and fondled with boyish tomfoolery.

Gaz Brookfield keeps us ‘cross the pond for his “Getting Drunk for Christmas.” He makes it sound like a fun party for him and the mates with a bouncy rock: 1 part garage, 2 parts alt, 1/2 part folk.

Besotted for the High Holidays

Watch’a got planned for Christmas? Bottles! Yea verily, it’s a tradition to buy, imbibe, and belch up the birthday of Godboy. Or, more often, it girds the loins of those unwilling to face family, loneliness, and a general lack of purpose while trudging through black, bleak, endless nights.  Bottoms up!

Dave Hutchins captures the blues while rock-beating on his guitar for a better than average amateur offering “I’ll be Drinking for Christmas.” Hutch knows.

More thoughtfully folk Scott Gagner jazzes up “I’ll be Drinking This Christmas.” It’s a spiraling snowflake of a song, so more sipping than slurping over the barstool, fellas.

Kristian Bush (it’s a guy) spells it out eff-ay-em-eye-ell-why (let’s deal with calamitous Christmas clan clashes later) in a modern country carol of high production values. When songs like “Thinking about Drinking for Christmas” sound this good i tend to hear encouragement to excess drinking, but to each hic own.