It’s a pretty sad and lame joke that since Santa services kids, it’s not oral or anal–so, thank you Sigmund, it’s sexual.
Not much novelty gold to mine here, but there are lumpy nuggets to chew.
A lagubrious Karl Speegle moans his carol “Santa is a Pedo” as if he’d lost a bet.
Moving on, we may have touched upon Andy Dick’s “Santa’s Yule Log” earlier. It’s so wigged out creepy though that i need to inflict it upon you ‘gain.
Culturcide celebrates Santa’s perversity with an ambiguous age difference between Sinter Klass and the subject(object) of his affection in “Santa Claus was My Lover.” Is the love underaged? or just May/Dec? And hey. kids, we don’t really encourage the plagiarism of karaoke machinery to write your music, but a Michael Jackson song just writes its own parody here.
Best on parody here would have to be the squirmy take on The Kinks’ ‘Lola’ “Santa” by Joel Kopischke. This gets creepier the more genius it gets. I think it’s gay-consensual, but it may also be a crime. Can’t really tell.
Old Dr. Demento discovery Barnes and Barnes present their perverse pop present “I Had Sex with Santa.” This also is not necessarily felonious, but the insoucient joy (“…and then I had a beer!”) and naive frivolity of this act leads one to darkness analogous.