Don We Now: Santa not suit

When is a Santa suit not a Santa suit?

When “Santa’s Got a Sharkskin Suit.” Rockabilly from Bob Wire and Chip Whitson refits the season. It was time for a change.

Jerelyn Craden (of Joy Jam) also redresses the fashion crimes of the jolliest elf with “Santa’s in a Bathing Suit,” But he was in L.A. so no worries, bra.

Hi-5 also recommend “Santa Wear Your Shorts” when visiting them in Hawaii. Kip bop pop.

Dave Rudolph goes dirty jump blues with his “Santa’s Got a Zoot Suit.” Sah-Moken!

Take a Card: boogie woogie

Cousin to jazz, grandpa to rock and country, this African-American stress reliever made us happier than the blues–and we could dance to it!

“Boogie Woogie Christmas Card” by Jimmy Maddox checks off all the boxes: virtuosity, glee, Christmas card… it’s just what i wanted!

As Seen on TV: Community

Rick and Morty‘s creator’s earlier brilliant-but-what’s-the-demographic? sitcom was not known for breakout songs, but attention must be paid to these study group misfits during the holidays.

The 2010 stop motion episode ‘Abed’s Uncontollable Christmas’ brings it.

The “Intro Song” is a takeoff of The 88’s series opening music this time with Xmas.

The characters turn into Christmas claymation tropes and have a couple memorable 3-line songs for characterization, including “Brittabot” and “Christmas Douche.”

The meaning of Christmas is put together in the show stopper “That’s What Christmas is For.” John Oliver! Christmas pterodactyl!

The next year is about singing Xmas for Glee club. To win over the surly main character, the Jewish nerd girl sings “Annie’s Christmas Song.” Brother, that’s jazz striptease junk with Betty Boop botheration.

The overlooked housewife gets a big gospel (half) number with “Happy B-Day, Jesus.” Go tell it on the lafftrack.

The actual “Community Glee Club” performance is a sad throwaway about how the hot blonde is tone deaf.

Troy & Abed’s Christmas Rap Battle,” however, convinces the Asperger’s kid and the conflicted cool athlete to celebrate a holiday they would otherwise disdain. Much prettier, or at least much faster.

Comedy gold from those boys finally in order to convince the geriatric in “Baby Boomer Santa,” an addictive song  about the evolution of St. Nick through musical genres. An American Pearl.

Presents of Mine: shopping blues

Has the spending and crowding and futility of it all got you down, bucko? Time to wail the blues.

Along the Road make the blues pretty with “Christmas Shopping Mall Blues.” Shiny big band finishing, melodic, yeah even a bit whiney. Next.

Fat, Happy and Blue jazz up the blues to the level of gin bar with “Christmas Shopping Blues.” Still flashy, sexy, and stand-uppity. What else?

Raw, ragged, and joyously hopeless, The Christmas Jug Band gallop around “X-Mas Shopping Blues.” Roaring fun. (Still wish i had some Memphis growlin’.)

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Identity Cypress

The tree is beautiful, your significant other is beautiful… what’s a poet to do?

For Brian Velez, “My Christmas Tree” tells him he’s meant for her. Or it is her. With this much coffehouse poetry and slamming folk guitar, it’s hard to know.

The extended metaphor gets excruciating elucidation from Darrin Martin in “You’re 100 Christmas Trees.” Is that Dixieland in the bridge? Is this guy serious? Falsetto?

I think Samuel J Morris is also mistaking his one and only for the fir. “Help My Christmas Tree” he seems to say through not fully fluent English. I’d call Dr. Oliver Sacks (‘cept he’s dead).

David Johnston will come right out and say it: “She Looks Like a Christmas Tree.” Unplugged rock that might give you verse envy.

I Want to Be Your Christmas Tree” swear Black & Blond Music. I’m not sure what woody benefits you’re hoping for, but your ‘billy blues fascinate.

With you around (and no one else) King Virtue feels “Like a Christmas Tree.” Hot enough to melt snow, anyway. Trippy ’60s style rock heavy on the percussion.

The Whomping Willows also aspire to adortion with “Let Me Be Your Christmas Tree.” Jazzy pop that covers the smell of desperation with musical justification.

Women get equal time! “I’m All Lit up Like a Christmas Tree” wouldn’t pass the Bechdel test, but Janey Clewer and Randy Waldman anticipate her baby comin’ home with boogie woogie jazz that’ll get his attention.

Hip hop from Nroc Leoj swathes his girl in the metaphor “Lights on the Christmas Tree.” She lights up his world, a’ight?

Well the song loves her. Boogie woogie metal from Mad for Action where the story is that the good-for-nothing blond didn’t listen to the haters but acheived “Like a Christmas Tree.” (Sparkly on the outside, dead on the inside?)

Treemendous Holiday Fun: BLUE Balsa Wood

Christmas balls dangle from the branches like… reproductive organs?! Someone likes this pun.

Funky Butt Brass Band descend into the mood with the raise-the-roof jazz of “Shiny Christmas Balls.” Don’t make them blue, baby.

Surprisingly upbeat reggae rock features John Mahameed & Nard cutting loose with “Christmas Balls.” Why you gotta?

Damage Control Comedy search for the key with “Your Christmas Balls” double entendre-ing the pun with showtune jazz. Take ’em out… where you wanna put ’em… Kay?

A regular Xmas tradition from the Johnboy & Billy Morning show, Nonge Shipman simply strums the folk ballad “Christmas Balls.” You’ve heard it.

From the risqué ’60s Kay Martin and Her Bodyguards “Hang Your Balls on the Christmas Tree” lets us know what we were missing, in terms of smirk.

No one else has balls like Ben Light and His Surf Club Boys. His “Christmas Balls” from the party records of the ’30s was the first… and the best (at innuendo).

Sweet Christmas! peppermint

Candy covers Christmas treats overall. But peppermint gets special attention about now.

Owl City graduates out of Disney pop and approaches alt light with “Peppermint Winter.” It’s fun, then emo, then pop, then rock. Multi-flavored! [But this Adam Young guy has the worst management; this song is included in dozens of cheapie compilations with no credit to the Minnesota electronic wizard.]

Full alt hails from These Are Waves with “Peppermint (The Christmas Song).” It strums through millennial feelings, which can get so complicated this time of year.

College band Ormsby comes to us care of Youtube with “Arsenic & Peppermint.” It’s a good ol’ college try, heavy on the tambourine.

Too many songs piggyback onto the topic with place names that include peppermint. But have to give a moment to Bobby Vinton’s “Peppermint Stick Parade.” It’s jolly and… well musically it’s not much. But it’s jolly.

Also tangential, The Lennon Sisters take a Lawrence Welk break to tell us the tale of “Peppy the Peppermint Bear.” I woulda thought Santa’d’ve more standards than to let an ursine mix the sweets.

The American Song-Poem album really takes it away with the peppermint song possibilities, re: “Christmas Treat, Peppermint” by The Sisterhood.

Outstanding in its own field, Randall Reed with the Forerunners run from reason with “The Peppermint Stick Man.” If ever a Stephen King suggestion flew out of a Christmas song, this would be it. Don’t take my word for it, allow Avoicecrying33 to set up this masterpiece in his own ineffable way (& he takes a minute to get going).

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Tuesday)

The explosion of Christmas novelty, music availability, counterculture–rock ‘n’ roll all overlap. So, let’s take a few days to celebrate rock and xmas.

Let’s start near the beginning. The first songs to be called rock were just boogie woogie with a harder guitar line. Have you heard The Moods’s “Rockin’ Santa Claus“? Then you know.

Sandy Baron swings jive into rock with “Swingin’ Santa Claus.” It’s authentic, but not memorable.

Slowing the rock roots way down, “Rockin’ Christmas” plays retro like it’s a fun Vegas show with in-crowd references. But Valentine Green has some loungey-big band chops and makes old-timey rock seem cute.

Can you call boogie woogie rock ‘n’ roll and be done with it? Well, plenty do. The Jeff Archer Group cram some Jerry Lee licks into their “Rockin’ Christmas Boogie” but still sound like Friday night at Shari’s.

More retro wave riders include Robert Wells and Little Mike Watson. Their “A Very Merry Rockin’ Good Christmas” just sounds a bit tired.

Can you call it rock when you can’t understand the words? (Well i presume you can’t.) Try The Renovators with “Rockin’ Good Christmas in Hebrew.” You may feel guilty afterward, but you may dance uncontrollably as well.

The Tractors sound boogie woogie still, but increase the insistency of the beat in this orignery stylin’ of “Rockin’ This Christmas.” Dance to the revolution of the evolution.

Xmas Dance Party: boogie woogie

Boogie Woogie began before the turn of the century with a lot of piano banging and chord changes. It means much more now, but it’s always been a call to dance.

For a taste of the low down dirty original feeling, The Chicago Kingsnakes clang-a-lang-a-lang-a-lang on “Boogie Woogie Christmas” from the superior album Holiday Boogie. Feel that repetitive carpal tunnel beat? Yeah, that’s right.

Jazzier, but still rowdy, Jimmy Maddox gets virtuosoistic all over the 88 keys with “Boogie Woogie Christmas Card.” Check out those changes: is he more than one man?!

Brain Setzer (and band) have retro-fitted tunes like “Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,” modernizing the licks, but still, nicely, beholding to the big band smooth-interchange of instruments. Mabel Scott beats the blues off that cat.

Deana Carter does a country version of another “Boogie Woogie Santa Claus” but she vamps the siren intimacy in keeping with big band sexiness. Kind of a waste of talent.

Jimmy Rankin wails out a Canadian country electric “Boogie Woogie Christmas” by the numbers. He’s selling it, but–Canadian boogie woogie, eh?

Strangely, this wild renegade music is so old and institutionalized we have children’s versions. Paul and Teresa Jennings of Music K8 have quieted down some screaming sounds for “Blitzen’s Boogie.” There’s a cool song in there somewhere.

For some (updated) jellyroll-style boogie woogie, bet on The Tractors.”Santa Claus is Coming (in a Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train)”is the piano you have been looking for. I mean, damn.