Month: September 2022

Christmas Countdown: 20

A frozen moment in poetry, “Coeur D’alene Lake Christmas Eve ’98” by Harrison Lemke haunts us with night before ghosts: The lit up numbers on the microwave Say it’s still Christmas Eve for twenty minutes longer. Eerie pop.

I can only sense earnestness rom “Christmas Eve (Where Reindeer Dare) (Mommy Can I Go Out and Carol Tonight?)” a metal masher from Lamonta. When they cheer Can’t believe my luck Grandma sent me 20 bucks! i believe in the true meaning.

Welcome back to Angry Johnny and The Killbillies! “Twenty Years Ago This Christmas” is more cornpone folk strumming, but–this time–i think the cheater/leaver isn’t gunned down, cleaned up, and buried in the backyard. The sad protagonist, however, may not make it.

Cady Groves sees Papa around Christmas for 20 years behind bars. Their “Crying Game” includes too-soon demises, poverty, and apathy. It’s a pop song to wake us all out of this misery matrix, but it’s so pretty i’m lulled.

Wil E. Haze is BLUE ALERT rolling by with 20 nah rims and Christmas Trees and more… “O Chronic Tree” is smokin’ rap of moderate naughtiness.

Also way down home, comes the country slow-burn of “Christmas Like the Movies.” Richard Watson drawls about Santa, who was barely twenty when he began work in the factory. Mrs. Claus is at the Walmart. Rudolph still thinks he’s some big deal. The iconic image of Xmas feels a million miles away. Now i’m sad.

Christmas Countdown: 21

Well, i could do with some more Sufjan Stevens! “Come On! Let’s Boogey to the Elf Dance!” is just about THE perfect-set swirliest of Stevens especially with 21 elves singing.

“The Twenty-First Century Santa Claus Blues” is more than existential. According to Nigel Mooney, it’s burnout–‘cuz everyone is a jerk. Swinging jazz.

Saint Etienne may be ironic wishing us a “21st Century Christmas.” The breathy millennial rock is all–oooh; but the lines about microwaving, toasting, and Thanks Uncle Jimmy Savile, they’re all like–ewww. See?

Christmas Countdown: 22

Headscratching time from Blink! Their pop (rap) seems to be addressed to a number. “Christmas 22” is an adrenaline thumper of beat poetry and has nothing much to do with Christmas.

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone also pay lip service to the holidays in “Cold White Christmas,” a painful, electronic mess of a life without any meaning to any season. The countdown here is like waiting for death. Downer pop for the twenty-two year olds.

NYC on December 22, Lewis Watson has more misery in the light pop of “Christmas Eve Alone This Year.” Man, seasonal depression’s a bitch.

Oddly upbeat as well, B. Wells (feat. DaVan Official) force-raps to ‘Nutcracker’ about how cold 22 degrees is in “A Ghetto Christmas.” Cold = blazing up; so, no worries.

Christmas Countdown: 23 down

It’s been twenty-three weeks Since life became so bleak, bewails “This Isn’t Christmas After All” rocked and metaled by Second Glance. Since… the Pandemic… and Santa died… and you know.

Had this poker face on for 23 days rap Thrice a Chuckle to the beat of inspirationally national humming. “Operation Santa Claus” is a kid deep undercover waiting up to see whether the Jolly Old Elf is genuine.

12/23 isn’t quite the last minute, but it gets us revving. “The Day Before the Night Before Christmas” is the pistol starter shot for being good from The Caroleers. Kidsong they way it used to be done.

If you’ve got a minute, take a bluesy walk down John Carroll’s chatty memory lane into “The Night Before the Night Before Christmas.” Great co-star guest list.

The Bobs, however, run a Peyton Place of suburban partying in “The Night Before the Night Before Christmas.” A cappella swing. Hold that note–!

Today we sing the praises of December 23rd ‘sing’ Paul and Storm in their slightly unharmonious march “Christmas Eve Eve.” See, according to the theory of contrast, humor springs from juxtaposing overbearing seriousness onto dismissive frivolity. So, ha.

Christmas Countdown: 23 up

“Merry Christmas Emily” is a righteous rocker about an almost true love. Cracker beweeps the sad sack’s outcast fate missing out on that 23-year-old under the dead palm tree.

I am 23, she’s 22, observes Eisel in the twang-garage tune “A Goth Girl Christmas.” Sadly he’s BLUE ALERT broke, so this song could be enough (if he’d practice enough).

Megan & Liz are Feeling like a kid when I’m 23 on Christmas Eve; but their sickly sweet pop (country) “Thank God for December” is all millennial and out of breath over such surprising FEELINGS about old beaux, baby albums, and Christ.

At 23, the wisher of Pathseeker (feat. Nick Yung)’s “Wishlist” wants FAME–including the codeine and Kool-Aid, and the untimely end. A true rocker of indecipherable intent. BLUE ALERT, of course.

Gerald LaVert has the R+B blues. See, he had a fight with his baby on the 21st. Now it’s the 23rd, the day before Christmas Eve See, she called me on the phone at six She won’t be seeing me. Crooning and swooning, howling and growling, he tries to wrap his head around “Christmas Without My Girl.” Guess he’ll have Christmas without my dignity.

Trauma Cat also outlines the epiphany at the age of 23, but it rocks out the disbelief of “There’s No Such Thing (A Holiday Song).” Slightly blue, but all in on growing out of childish notions. Still, a blast.

Christmas Countdown: 24…

Twisted Insane raps the bad news in “December 24th.” Despite holiday wishes he doesn’t leave any proof or witness. So, don’t get any ideas.

Collaborateurs reasons that everyone who’s up at 11 P.M. on “December 24th” is miserable together, but it’s the best they’ll ever feel. Ethereal pop.

Fed up with the hype Final Essay points out there’s “No Snow in Louisiana” with some hard rock gusto. Imagery includes: December 24th Louisiana’s dressed in shorts.

“Christmas Spirit (24 Hours in A&E)” is a mystifying melange of mentions and less-than-merry musings about the Mass o’ Christ. The Family Baloo give much music but few codebreaking hints. Jazzy but quiet rock.

Even worse is the road trip that begins on Dec. 24th and doesn’t seem to end. Corrida flavored rock from Jesús Villa tells of boredom, hunger, and loss of faith in “Christmas in the Back Seat.” Epic.

Christmas Countdown: 24-()

Broken hears and loneliness are so much MORE this time of year.

“December 24th” she came into your life. Then she was gone. So let’s rock about it. Robert Jackson and Alan Ihr make a meal of it.

It’s the 24th: The neighbors all go caroling; They dance around and sing, While I sit around and wait is the theme of “Alone on Christmas” by R+B growler Gatlin Loranze. Move on, moper.

Rich Evans wants Santa to bring you back to me, as he misses “Christmas Kissing.” In his rockabilly blues screamer, he mopes: I wonder is it me you remember On the 24th of December. Odd mix of uppers and downers.

“Dead by Xmas” is the dying declaration [Friday is the 13th to 24th–
It’s not so long to go] of the heartbroken from Hanoi Rocks with dramatic ’80s rocking. A girly translation from Sohodolls also rates high marks.

Getting colder, the killer’s at the door… “December 24” is an awful reminder of isolation for the banjo picking, tuba oomping, tune whistling John Galbraith. (Could be a happy ending coming.) Jugband fun.

Christmas Countdown: 24-*

The day before the holiday a person could use some mood-changing substances….

Psychedelic piano improvisation adds to the cacophony of the wasted “Christmas Eve/Christmas Day.” Riding through the snow Christmas Day, Chevy sitting on 24’s candy paint, Your whore want to go but it’s out my way–Tell her stay! I ain’t got no time to waste. Hott$cott got some ‘nog to flog, dawg.

Sometimes takes whiskey Sometimes takes more Always on December 24, laments Seth Adam in his slow rocker “December 24.”

Sex is the drug for Lardi B (feat. Projext) in the ‘romantic’ rap “Holidays.” Better be going by the 24th to get there! Sweet na nana nas.

More lust from Siopaolo (feat. Kelsey Kuantans): It’s the 24th of December, Remember last year when we promised we’ll meet Right before Christmas day–I want nothing but ice this year, We’re jumping into bed after 12 AM. “Hot Cocoa” seems to be code for this finger-popping R+B seducer.

Trying to get something going, poet Adam Marsland alt-grunges: Not to kill a metaphor But it’s “December 24th.” Yet, metaphors snow us in.

Despite falling asleep on the sofa bed on the 24th Autyn recalls the next morning “I Met an Angel (On Christmas Day).” Rock, i guess. (Céline Dion covers this–heavy on the sax–believe it or don’t.)

Sons of Daughters leans into the honkytonk with a brawling expose of a disturbance report of some red-suited guy at the local drinkery in “Moonshine and Mistletoe.” Line dance like you’re drunk!

Christmas Countdown: 24-!

Excitement’s building. But the mediocre is cashing in while you’re in a festive mood. Richard Melvin Brown, sounding like a constipated Wayne Newton, mush mouths through the lounge-pop “The Christmas Eve Song.” Now you want your friends to hear it, don’t you?

Celebrating the 24th SO hard, FloRida (feat. Trey Songz) hits “Jingle Bells Rmx” with both runners on the ground! Rave rap what makes you wave your arms in the air like you didn’t know you were doing it.

Couldn’t wait for December 24 begins “Christmas is Almost Here” from House 13 (feat. Musicians Association of Gibraltar), a group-swinging rock sing-along of infectious proportions. Let’s all cheer!

Brian Frank tinkles on the mandolin(?) in a treacly folk kidsong “Christmas Wish.” If you’re here on the 24, comes the ultimatum, there will be meaning to Christmas once more.

Kat Perkins is “Up All Night” in the jazzy lounge pop of ADHD patrons everywhere. You know what night….

New Found Glory will be wearing out “Holiday Records” on the 24th. Rocking pop about my favorite subject! Christmas songs!

Christmas Countdown: 24-$

{BTW this countdown thing has been going on for a year now. Gonna need a couple months more….}

Eve is the bitch of anticipation, the day before Xmas, that is. To ‘Nutcracker’ Dirty Boyz list “All I Want For Christmas (Is to Get Crunk).” This party rap lists drugs, sex, and some marginally legal bits: 24’s are better ya’ll, A t-mobile sidekick, My own Gucci sweater, dog, And i want some soldieries, And mouth full of tooth, And a fresh black tee, Belvedere on Christmas day, Courvoisier on Christmas eve.

Fan 3 raps “I Love Christmas” bc of loot. This 12-day shouted count of getting in industrial percussion (It’s all about the stuff) includes a bike with somethin’ crazy like 24 speeds, right?

Garage ska-anger from Pablum about what to buy, what to buy, what to buy…. Despite this being “Christmas as a Grown Ass Man,” you may not get nothing. It’s the 24th and I don’t have a clue Please don’t take it personally The gift of giving isn’t my specialty. Brutal. Honest. Amusing.

Wagon Lord wants to be Santa Claus, in order to shower you with presents on “December 24th.” Alt-folk foolin’ around.

The promise of toys underlines the Christmas Eve readiness of the elf narrator in “Santa’s Workshop.” Clever beating pop from John Kay & Who’s to Say.

More elf noise from The Pointer Sisters from ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Movie’ soundtrack. In “Christmas Town“ We’re up here in the North Making toys for you until December 24th. Headache inducing kids showtune. [But, you wanna get weird about it, try the remix from VNS, CK, K0M0D0. whoa.]

Emma Hamel plonks the same couplea notes on the piano while pop-confessing on “December 24th” she couldn’t ask for more. Guess she’s met the right one, so nothing else matters. But, hey, no need to ruin it for the rest of us.

Hot Press and The Silent Nights, however, glam rock that on “December 24th” give me anything as long as it’s gold. Now we’re talkin’!