Damn That Holiday: Hell.1

Sardonic metal from Tiberius ProjecT warns about “Santa Claus in Hell.” There’ll be something a little different under your tree this year.

Wild Billy Childish & The Musicians Of The British Empire take ‘Merry Christmas Baby’ but, with the help of some funky blues, make it about the wrong you done. Why, it’s just a “Christmas Hell” now.

You might be full of comfort and joy, but for Pennywise it’s “Christmas in Hell.” Rollicking punk fun.

Crocodiles goes club rock with their kickin’ “Christmas in Hell.” Now that’s a party.

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Sheol, Gehenna, and Hades get name dropped in the Bible, but Hell arrives centuries later as taken from Old Germanic. It’s not as old as God. It’s a human thing. We need it. But do we need it… for Xmas?

Smiling Friends from Adult Swim has a brief ditty about “Christmas in Hell.” The jazzy pop is so light that they sing Aitch – Ee – Double Ell.

Why can’t every day be like “Christmas in Hell” goes the caffeinated pop of Young Satan. Careful what you curse for.

Softshoe jazz-time from Tennis Elbow welcomes you to “Christmastime (In Hell).” Politics are mentioned.

“Christmas In Hell” is where These Stains Are Who I Am discover themselves at an importune time. Spanky showtune for those who want to clap along with their ultimate and very detailed misfortune. Hee hee.

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Frank Steakman claims “Satan Made Up Christmas.” Amateur doodling on electronic equipment and improvised, unconfident wordage. But, he’s got a point.

Bleating Apocalypse metals “Christmas With Satan” like it’s a chore.

Cracking country from 2.3 Children. “Santa’s Just an Anagram for Satan.” They seem to lose their place half-way through, but boy howdy what a song.

Is that similar to Rick Springfield’s “Santa is an Anagram“? Hard rock no. Now that’s the devil’s music!

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Greedy greedy kiddos may as well be “Sitting on Satan’s Lap.” Smee delivers again with peppy pop. Boy, that list goes on and on. How does The Evil One have the patience to listen to all that?

Mortuary claims I am Satan in the slow rap “Halloween on Christmas.” Inclusivity can go too far.

“Merry Christmas Satan” from Night Smoker is more of his greetings to you than sucking up to his forked tongue. Short hard metal rock.

Terry Silva picks at a sore i’ve been worried about. If JC’s appearance opened the way for forgiveness from grievous sin, what’s to stop an enterprising young nogudnik from transgressing (as in BLUE ALERT: Worship Satan’s cock), then seeking forgiveness again and again. “Christmas Songs” may not settle that quandary, but the wound is flowing freely now thanks to his subtle pop.

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BARDŁOG chants out “santa may be a satan” to a middling metal backdrop. So, you can make out the so-called lyrics. But i’m not sure you’ll cheer over that.

“satanmas” by fun yunz is more yelling that’s not quite punk/metal. More fun for them than us.

Odd and amateurish, but antic–“What Would Satan Want for Christmas?” is the Hey Nunnie Nunnie! spoken/sung interactive kids-pop gospel answer. Involved. And a twist ending.

“Satan’s Holiday Cheer” by Smee is the best of the amateur bunch with unplugged rock’n’roll and dreamlike whimsy.

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“Satan’s Christmas Tree of Fiery Shit​-​Filled Death” by Aristocorpse is merely another BLUE ALERT metal rage-filled antiestablishment announcement. Moving on….

Marlboro regrets celebrating “Christmas Everyday” pretty bad. He starts confusing God and The Devil, blaming whomever comes to mind. Satan go swallow a tack he declares, to get even with his folk rock.

Emit Bloch (with Michael Vinaver), equally hungover, regrets that “I Mispelt Santa, Satan.” No horrors are visited upon this misdeed, but children cried. Not ’cause of the chill folk pop melody, though. Oh no.

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In “Satan Won The War On Christmas” by Bradley Palermo & The Shadow Queens the Hell King is shown to own our souls anyway, so our Xmas is on his terms. Metal edged rock with an axe to grind, albeit gently.

Billy Castillo doesn’t have a lot to say when he sings “Satanic Christmas.” Apart from an infernal plug for Taco Bell, it’s just chanting for a bit. Then there’s a rant. Gregorian pop.

“Cynical Christmas Carols (Hail Santa)” by Satan’s Basement is metal ravings about a self harmer realizing the demons are dragging him away from the angels. To the tune of ‘Jingle Bells.’

Oh yeah we’ve been waitin’ For “Christmas with Satan” by James White & The Blacks. Extra crunchy experimental jazz backs this peripeteia of expectation. (Satan throws the best Christmas party ever!)

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Melodicka Bros estimate filtering Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas is You, Satan” with fierce metal makes it a better song. Well, almost.

Frank Barrow hits ‘White Christmas’ hard with “Satan’s Birthday.” This echoic carol is a Wiki entry on all the un-Christian aspects of Xmas. Amaze your friends with this info!

The Satanic Temple butchers “Hark! The Fallen Angels Sing!” but not musically. Apart from some dysphonia, the crux of deviltry is in the lyrics.

Absinthe Green vamps up “Satan Baby” (based on… you got it) promising murder and mayhem, rather than asking for much. Good minion.

Better, those same The Satanic Temple skiddy-bop-doo up ‘Gentlemen’ with a kickin’ cool jazz verzh called “Blessings of Knowledge and Fruit.” Workable propaganda for the deuce hisself.