Merry Mistletoe: Sinatra, et al; Lauderdale

Grampa Frank Sinatra was really something back in 1957. His “Mistletoe and Holly” gives him a co-writer credit. He owns this old time piece of holiday celebrating, I’ll tell you that. His voice is a sensuous waltz of seduction. Brrrr.

Jack Jones hey-girls the lounge bop out of it even more.

Kidz Bop clunk together some youngsters’ harmony for their version. It’s Frank clone.

Leigh Nash injects some welcome innocence in her turn. Pop that oldie, girl.

Ms. Waskin and Radio sass up the girl parts of the next one. They sound like they’re waitin’ for a bus.

Faith Evans turns up the asthma attack with her breathy, overly percussive arrangement. It stops short of actual soul and lands in the toy department.

Just about my favey-fave is the warbling abandon from Jenny Daniels. She loses herself (and her metrical place) in this bows to the nose belt-down. Weee!

The other multitudinous mash-ups aren’t worth repeating. (Not even The Hot Sardines‘ big band finger-popping bit.)

Let’s turn this on its head for a surprise twist ending: Jim Lauderdale, a CW songwriter of note, good-ol-boy-ing “Holly and Her Mistletoe.” Not the same old hat standard at all, gang! It’s a down south dive dance tune with just a hint o’ nasty to it.

Merry Mistletoe: Vandross, Hayes

Some are confused by the odd tradition of the mistletoe. For them a quick primer from That Guy with the Glasses: “Merry Zodmas: Mistletoe.” Aliens make our culture so approachable, y’know?

If you want to just FEEL it–appropriate for the subject at hand–Luther Vandross grooves cool with “The Mistletoe Jam.” That’s putting me in the mood.

And then, if you want to fall helplessly into the dreamy state of osculability, where your lips are their own masters, then ladies and gentlemen unprick your ears succumb to Isaac Hayes “The Mistletoe and Me.”

Merry Mistletoe: key of awesome

Posting for February makes me misty-eyed for amor. I wanna ship you and you and you and you and YOU! To set the mood, we’ll decorate with a parasitic plant over doorways. A couple hundred years ago, English servants, so they say, found this frolic friendly enough. Rules may have included removing one of the white berries for each kiss limiting the playful pecks to but a few.

First off, some totally legit pop songs deal with this… yawn… bleary…what…

The only reason I might mention you J.B.’s song “Mistletoe,” is because of Key of Awesome’s totally rad parody. These guys (Mark Douglas and Ben Relles and Todd Womack) have been cranking out viral videos for 10 years–millions of youtube subscribers and billions of views. Worth it.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: the demographic

Big star-spangled finish. American Christmas songs should be enormo, splashy, slightly overdone casseroles.

Bettina Bush sings big about family and love and “An American Christmas.” It’s pretty, she’s pretty… i feel pretty!

James Brown shouts it out with “Hey America!” This is a sermon to uplift us with Christmas spirit. Feel it! FEEL IT!

Wayne Newton’s idea of “Christmas in the USA” is to call long distance. C’mon it’s Wayne Newton, it’s not what he says (what IS he saying?), it’s how he’s selling it. It’s building, building, building… and there’s that last note!

United We Christmas Tree Stand: don’t tread on us

We gotta admit it, we define ourselves by our borders, and that exclude any of y’all that might be different, or attack us. Bottom line, it’s not our ingenuity, or industry, or even our entertainment business that makes us America. It’s our warlike response to every problem. Take arms! Drive back the doubts and fears with bullets! And honor those in bloody uniforms as the real Americans. The rest of us barely count.

Eric Homer Music sings us wise with “Christmas in America.” Soft, gentle country music with an urgent message about honor and stuff.

Jess Lee has a killer rehearsal in her garage with the boys for “Christmas in America” for the troops get the brunt of our patriotism. It seems to be a quid pro quo: you soldier boys have the burden of being away from home (not the proud duty of protecting the unprotected), so we will sing and stand and salute (ordinarily we’d not care too much). Fair trade? That’s what you get.

Ostensibly about the Newtown tragedy, David Lenett’s posting “An American Christmas” ramps us country rock to make a fine song that includes ‘those who wear our uniform.’ But it’s inclusive.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: under god

Gentle reminder, the big guy in the USA is not the prez… it’s God. John J. Peterson sings “It’s Christmas in America” as a catchy tune redolent with joy and recrimination about how we may have neglected the true meaning of Christmas. Christine Noga also sings this song. A bit more soul; she can carry a note!

John Kammerer wants to remind us–us!–that Christmas is not just about one nation, but one nation under god (that 1954 insistence). In “Christmas Time in America” his rocks populi nudges us into not taking country too much for granted. Without God… well, let’s not go there.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: just us

We’re getting divisive here, another proud American tradition–but not our chosen theme. So let’s not link to any more songs about them vs. us: racism, sexism, classism, ageism, heightism, weightism, politics (yes, virginia, there’s haters’ christmas songs for all of them).

Let’s blend, melt, be together.

Pat Benatar belts out some extremely light rock with “Christmas in America.” They grow up so conservative, don’t they? Naw, she’s godblessing us all, even her grownup head banging fans.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: corporate (not!)

Continuing from our concerns over consumptive consumerism, some carolers counter the corporate coverage of Christmas. Cleverly now….

Posh Hammer add robotic irony to their drear tale of corporate takeover of the holidays. “A Very Corporate Christmas” bangs on like a dirge, but these kids have something to say.

“A Corporate Christmas Carol” by Charlie Reynardine & Michael G. Ronstadt lulls us with glorious harmonious pop folk. Afraid the kids win out, however, and these guys will buy their way through the brand names. (They win me back with their credits roll at the end of the video.)

Davids jolly up the joint with “CGI Penguins (An Anti-Corporate Christmas Song).” At least we have a song to sing along with while we throw shade on Coca-Cola.