Parodies’ Paradise: 1983 “Every Breath You Take”

The Police had their biggest US and UK hit with this… topping the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart for eight weeks… their only number-one hit on that chart… #1 UK Singles Chart for four weeks… also topped the Billboard Top Tracks chart for nine weeks… nominated for three Grammy Awards, including Song of the Year, Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals, and Record of the Year, winning in the first two categories… Sting received the 1983 British Academy’s Ivor Novello award for Best Song Musically and Lyrically… Rolling Stone critics and readers voted it “Song of the Year”… in the US, it was the best-selling single of 1983 and fifth-best-selling single of the decade… Billboard ranked it as the number-one song for 1983… ranked number 84 on the Rolling Stone list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time… included in The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s 500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll… also ranked number 25 on Billboard‘s Hot 100 All-Time Top Songs.

The Mistletones play the music and make the funny with “Every Wish You Make,” but they don’t quite get the gravity of the song.

So let’s have Robert Lund unpack its mysticism with a paranoid screed about Santa watching “Every Toy You Break.”

Parodies’ Paradise: 1983 “Blister in the Sun”

Milwaukieans Violent Femmes’ album Violent Femmes became the band’s biggest-selling album and was eventually certified platinum by the RIAA… themselves went on to become one of the most successful alternative rock bands of the 1980s, selling over 9 million albums by 2005. The original song here is one that helped make them famous, fight, and fall apart.

Joking ’round with it, jumpin’ Joel Kopischke needs a vacation from snow with “Christmas in the Sun.” Australia p’raps?

Parodies’ Paradise: 1982 “You’ve Got Another Thing Comin'”

British heavy metal band Judas Priest released the inspiration here on their 1982 album Screaming for Vengeance and made it a single later that year… May 2006, VH1 ranked it fifth on their list of the 40 Greatest Metal Songs… became one of his signature songs, a staple of the band’s live performances… peaked at No. 66 in the UK Singles Chart and in the US it reached No. 4 on the Billboard rock chart.

The rock anthem is honored (mashed up with ‘Nat. Lamp’s Christmas Vacation’) via “You’ve Got Another String Comin'” courtesy of Les Gomez.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1981 “Urgent”

Foreigner’s song entered the U.S. pop charts and reached #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, holding that spot for the entire month of September… hit #1 on the Billboard Rock Tracks chart also for four weeks… the most successful single from the 4 album on album-oriented rock radio… the album has since been certified multi-platinum by the RIAA, for selling over six million copies in the U.S. alone… the song was Foreigner’s second-best-selling single… reached #1 in Canada… #20 in Sweden… in Australia #24…  in the UK #54.

A nod to Jesus’ mama with ApologetiX’s “Virgin.” Mmm hmm.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1981 “Under Pressure”

This Queen hit was written and recorded in collaboration with the singer David Bowie… reached number one on the UK Singles Chart, becoming the band’s second number-one hit in their home country… only peaked at No. 29 on the US Billboard Hot 100, but would re-chart for one week at No. 45 in the US following Bowie’s death in January 2016… also number 31 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’80s… had been played live at every Queen concert from 1981 until the end of Queen’s touring career in 1986.

Bad Santa and the Angry Elves party on top of this angsty anthem with “Christmas Pressure.” Clap along to, yuno, relieve some.

Parodies’ Paradise: “Don’t Stop Believin'”

American rock band Journey originally released this as the second single from their seventh album… number 9 hit on the Billboard Hot 100… in the United Kingdom a Top 40 hit on its original release; however, it reached number 6 in 2009… the best-selling digital track from the 20th century with over 7 million copies sold in the United States. Oddly, the refrain only happens in the last 50 seconds of the song.

Something Awful Christmas unloads a compilation of donated oddnesses every year. 2009 heralded a fine parody: “Don’t Stop Believin’ (In Santa Claus).” Cue Michele Lea.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1980 “Another One Bites the Dust”

Queen made this a worldwide hit… charted number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks… their second number-one single in the country… fifteen weeks in the Billboard top ten (the longest running top ten song of 1980) and 31 weeks total on the chart (more than any other song in 1980)… reached number two on the Hot Soul Singles chart and the Disco Top 100 chart…  number seven on the UK Singles Chart… credited as Queen’s best-selling single, with sales of over 7 million copies… ranked at number 34 on Billboard’s All-Time Top Songs… won an American Music Award for Favorite Rock Single… garnered a Grammy Award nomination for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal.

Duncan G and Brian lean into the gee-tar with “One More Gift for Us.” Listen to it, gang. That’s parody!

Parodies’ Paradise: 1980 “Whip It”

Devo’s biggest hit peaked at No. 14 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart… #8 on US Billboard Hot Dance Club Play… #13 on US Cash Box… #17 on US Record World… No. 11 on the Canadian Singles chart… the key selling point of the DEV-O Live EP, which album reached number one in Australia’s singles charts… ranked number 62 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’80s… number 15 on the same channel’s 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the ’80s.

Duncan and Brian laugh it up with “Wrap It.” You know what’s coming, but can’t look away.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1979 “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”

British rock band Queen slipped into rockabilly on their 1980 album The Game… the single peaked at number two in the UK Singles Chart in 1979… became the group’s first number-one single on the Billboard Hot 100 in the US in 1980, remaining there for four consecutive weeks.

Joel Kopischke tries to make a list prioritizing his Xmas activities in “Crazy Little Christmas Time.” TV, ebay, family–you know the drill.