Blackstreet’s hot hit reached number one on the BillboardHot 100… also in New Zealand… number nine in the United Kingdom… ended ‘Macarena”s 14-week reign atop the Billboard Hot 100… ranked at number 91 on Rolling Stone and MTV: 100 Greatest Pop Songs… ranked at #32 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’90s… sold 1.6 million copies in 1996… won the 1998 Grammy Award for Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals… nominated for Grammy Award for Best R&B Song.
The positivism lifted up Axiom to one of these rare Christmas parodies that preaches gospel rather than sasses secular. “So Christmassy” is classy and talented. Testify to the ‘eve.
Another year over and what have we learned? Nothing! Comedy is the antidote to learning, it reinforces tropes without adding new info. Wit on the other hand can trigger many emotions. Let’s roller coaster through last year!
A year ago December i took on listing, and wanting, and asking for Christmas. My favorite, reeking of childish torment and maudlin nostalgia comes from Heywood Banks: “Dearest Mr. Santa Claus.” (fyi-‘Uncle Wiggily’ is a board game) Heartstrings may be tugged!
Last January i took a hard look at American Christmassing in all its patriotic glory and cheap shot criticism. The most delighted i got was with a ‘Hamilton’ all-out parody spotlighting Rudolph: thusly, Eclipse 6’s a cappella “Hamildolph”!!! You may believe a B’way in-joke can impress you.
For February it was a love fest of mistletoe songs. So i’ll settle for softcore. Sure we live in dangerous times of harassment and abuse of power, but the over-bleached, over-augmented, under-dressed twerker still has a place on the internet. Courtney ‘Cane’ Stodden coos “Mistletoe Bikini.”
March heralds in the other JC holiday, so we explored songs holy and lowly about Our Savior and his b.day. Oddest of all was the e-card from JibJab featuring Five-Toes, the two-tongued cat, a centurion cat on guitar, and an under-aged kitten chorus of dancers singing about what appropriate gift there might for the Son of God. “Power Drill for Jesus.”
Now begins my enormous culinary odyssey. April was all about Eating for Christmas in song. Most diet-inducing is the gut-wrenching peripeteia in Paul and Storm’s vaudeville bluegrass “Grandma’s Christmas Dinner.” Ugh.
Next were the sweet things of Christmas. Man oh man: candy canes, cookies, mince pies, the menu was inexhaustible. If i had to pick one, i’d go with the amazing (hoax-y) collection from Asche & Spencer writing for advertising co. Borders Perrin Norrander for the Oregon Lottery pitch for their fruitcake scratchoffs. Let’s just feature “Merry Christmas Fruitcake!”
After sweets came Christmas drinks. Mostly cocktails, though some cocoa and eggnog snuck in there. Of all the alcohol, the most uninhibited song came from Kevin Kline singing as Mr. Fischoeder from the Bob’s Burgers cartoon, a bastion of novelty music in itself.
July extended the drinking Christmas song game to getting drunk for the holidays. A tremendous amount of talent goes in to singing about this. Hard to narrow it down. Guess it’ll settle for comedy by way of Axis of Awesome. “Drunk at Christmas” laughs at, with, to, and from this serious social issue.
Ditto for drugs. The next month was Stoned for Xmas, and after all the pot songs, inappropriately addictable pop tunes, & sneering strung-out melodrama, i’d like to take a moment to reflect with Gregory Page via “Crack & Christmas.” This isn’t much about drug-induced states, but it delves into the mindset of those who need to. Depressing folk, okay–but relevant and moving.
My inspiration for September was celebrity toasting, inspired by Todd McHatton’s “Christmas Song for Harry Nilsson.” I heard of this guy from a cookie song he did and i had to buy his album sight unseen. Worth it.
Afterwards i noodled around the Youtube hunting down parodies of famous songs. One i almost missed was from Moneyshot Cosmonauts spoofing on Dark Side of the Moon and soothing my Pink Floyd needs with “North Side of the Pole: Part 4” (Don’t miss Parts 5 & 6, too). Maybe indulge in Part 2 as well if you’ve got black lights. (Other parts harder to come by.)
Coolio (featuring singer L.V.) released this wonder on his eponymous album sampling the chorus and instrumentation of Stevie Wonder’s 1976 song “Pastime Paradise”… was listed at number 85 on Billboard’s Greatest Songs of All-Time… number one biggest selling single of 1995 on U.S. Billboard… In 2008, it was ranked number 38 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop… was awarded a Grammy for Best Rap Solo Performance… two MTV Video Music Award’s for Best Rap Video and for Best Video from a Film and a Billboard Music Award for the song/album… was voted as the best single of the year in The Village Voice Pazz & Jop critics poll… sold over 5 million copies in the United States, United Kingdom and Germany alone, making it one of the best-selling singles of all time.
Justin Snodgrass goes the road less creative with “Christmas Paradise.” Elf life, chipmunk voice.
Kate Devin honors the wounded bird sad clown with “Christmas Single Life.” Poor her, heh heh.
The Swedish Ace of Base’s international hit… reached number two in the United Kingdom… and six non-consecutive weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the United States… became the top song on Billboard’s 1994 Year End Chart… the No. 1 song of 1994 according to Billboard magazine’s year-end charts… ranked at number 60 on The Billboard Hot 100 All-Time Top Songs for the first 50 years of the Hot 100 chart… received a nomination for Best Pop Vocal Performance By a Group or Duo at the 1995 Grammy Awards.
N. Fla. comedy sketch troupe Awkward Silence Jax fill the void of the necessary Christmas parody with a smidge of ability in their “Spend.” This is all about the epiphany of angry holiday shopping–it gets pushy.
Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg from Dre’s debut solo album kicked out this first single from the album… reached number two on the Billboard Hot 100… also reached #1 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart… in the UK it reached #31… selected by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as one of the 500 songs that shaped rock and roll… XXL magazine named it the top hip-hop song of the decade.
Pretty Funny Girl TV rocks the boat with “Nuthin’ But a Black Santa Thang.” Political powder keg humor!
Seattle’s grunge inventors Nirvana dropped this opening track and lead single from their second album… it propelled Nevermind to the top of the charts… marked as the point where alternative rock entered the mainstream… their biggest hit… reached number six on the Billboard Hot 100… high on music industry charts all around the world in 1991 and 1992… topped the Village Voice Pazz & Jop critics’ poll… won two MTV Video Music Awards for its music video… dubbed an “anthem for apathetic kids” of Generation X… one of the greatest songs in the history of rock music.
Jars of Clay makes the TD with “Smells Like Rudolph.” I’m here to introduce previously unmentioned pariodies, yet i’ve mentioned this one before. It’s so good i have to break rules and mention it again. Bangin’ cool.
Sir Mix-a-Lot caused controversy with his outspoken and blatantly sexual lyrics about women… debuted at number 75 on the Billboard Hot 100… hit number one twelve weeks later… spent five weeks at the top of the chart… the video was briefly banned by MTV… the second best-selling song in the US in 1992… sales of 2,392,000 physical copies that year… 2008, it was ranked number 17 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop.
Christopher ‘The Notorious’ Barnes (Southern California’s Greatest Kids’ Magician) has a little “Santa Got Back” to get you in the giving mood.
Duncan G w/Brian get funky with “Santa Got Gifts.” Look at that package!
Vanilla Ices’ best know song was the B-side to his cover of “Play That Funky Music” (not initially successful). Disc jockey David Morales played it to success: the first hip hop single to top the Billboard Hot 100… topped the charts in Australia, Belgium, the Netherlands, New Zealand, the Republic of Ireland and the United Kingdom… came in fifth in VH1 and Blender‘s 2004 list of the ’50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.’
ApologetiX goes secular with a under-weatherized stranded car during a shopping spree (prayers resulting) in “Nice Iced Pavement.” Where’s the Christ, y’all?
MC Hammer’s signature song was the winner of the Best R&B Song and a Best Rap Solo Performance and the first rap song to be nominated for Record of the Year at the 33rd Annual Grammy Awards in 1991… and won the Best Rap Video and Best Dance Video at the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards… peaked at number one in the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks and on the charts in several countries… hit no. 8 on the Billboard Hot 100… In 1999, MTV’s 100 Greatest Videos Ever Made ranked it at No. 71… October 2000, VH1’s “100 Greatest Dance Songs” rated it at No. 88… May 2001, VH1’s 100 Greatest Videos included it at No. 59… certified gold by 2008.
The Mistletones cover this comically with “Can’t Wrap This.” Pretty. Perhaps too pretty.
Leight Press has gotten most of the mileage from a masterful parody video by someone else. “Can’t Wrap This!” This one’s a keeper.
Neil Young dropped this off his 1989 album Freedom… the lyrics criticized the George H. W. Bush administration… became the de facto anthem of the collapse of communism… rated number 216 on Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.
Chris Townsend’s annual Xmas exacta knife humor revisits this tough time with “Keep on Shopping’ in a Free World.” Yeah, it’s mad about materialism.
