Some specialized shopping destinations for Christmas herewith.
A scary pop song commercial for the UK TV channel Ideal World summons you to spend. Flexi-payments! “The One Stop Shop This Christmas” must not be listened to alone.
The Fallen Angel Choir yuk it up for a Walmart spree with their parody “Achy Breaky Shop.”
How about “Christmas at My Comic Shop”? Joe Quesada and the Idlechatters rock it for the geeks.
Jerry Darlek & The Buffalo Touch have a hint how to help the Christmas party: do your “Christmas Shopping Polka” at the liquor store. A personal message of sumfin er edder.
Does your Christmas shopping list include where to get what?
R+B hollering from M-Dot, Lg leads to a thoughtful rap-sody about “Christmas Shopping in the Ghetto.” It’s quite a mashup production.
Twangy nasal bluegrass sets the atmosphere for “Christmas Shopping at the Dump.” Charlotta Clutter and Her Short-Notice Showmen make a classic case for Kentucky recycling. Fortune’s Favor have a protruding tongue in cheek with their folk shout out on the same title. Much less classy.
SYNTHAR sets the moog with “Pawn Shop Christmas.” Electronica overload to portray the possibilities of purchasing as if it were an ’80s cartoon.
John Dunbar bangs the folk out of “Christmas Shopping at the 99 Cents Store.” This coulda been a comic country howler, or an alt ironic as heck causticality, but it’s a fun celebration of living for less. Bravo.
My favorite already posted shopping parody is genius Joel Kopischke’s “Shopping Mall of Broken Dreams.”
Can Christmas shopping be super cool? Check out Benny Grunch and the Bunch nasally laying out the blues with the relaxed acceptance of professionals. “I Bought Presents” includes a bottle, baby.
Black Friday has been subsumed into the digital world and we can barely remember the frenzied line-standing anymore. Like who remembers Rebecca Black’s only hit from 2011? Ally Hills takes us back with “Black Friday.” Shopping as warfare.
“Shop Around” means something different to The Mistletones than it does to The Miracles. Go go go!
Dan and son team Meet the Bullens trick up Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’s hit to reach “Christmas Thrift Shop.” Goodwill to men.
Shorty Garrett impersonates rockabilly with cheap equipment in “Shopping Shopping Shopping.” We’re laughing at you, Shorty.
Blake Jone & The Trike Shop go agenda-mad with “Christmas Sale.” Apparently it’s two-faced to spend money for Christ’s aborning–wait, wait, not done yet–WHILE being mad at big box department stores for not calling it a ‘Christmas sale,’ but only a ‘holiday sale’ (or something something… hang on, is this something?). Cool indie irony, but ya got me twirling.
Some folks take the long lists and crowded aisles in stride while Xmas shopping.
Garage pop from A Shaw Thing tries to lean in to the marathon with “Christmas Shopping.” Up beat and beat up.
Bluesy funk from J Randy Krauss makes family “Christmas Shopping” a sentimental lovefest. Too far?
Manic depressive from Ren and Stimpy. “We’re Going Shopping” covers the great and the groans of their expedition. Happy happy joy joy prevails.
More love/hate from Anarchic Worms with their electro pop “Shopping Gifts for Christmas.” It’s like a Stephen Hawking dance album.
Rockabilly sells it. “Christmas Shopping” by Angry Johnny and The Killbillies honky tonks the spirit within an inch of its life. Wouldn’t wanna be on their list, tho.
Black Friday is traditionally the kickoff to Christmas shopping. It’s been a couple years since i trowled out Black Friday songs for Christmas. There have been some recent developments:
Harsh judgment from The Homeless Gospel Choir in the form of “Black Friday.” Alt, not gospel. Although prayers for the departed are included.
Real Digital Music ramps up the anger slightly for “Forget Black Friday Song!!” Listless rap; black sales don’t matter.
Rusty Cage (slightly BLUE) bebops cute kid music to underscore his deadly “Black Friday Song” message. Graphic imagery, but, y’know, y’tube.
Let’s spend some time searching, acquiring, prepping, and delivering the packages that pack the proper punch. (And NO special love messages that i-only-want-you, or Christ is the gift of God [that he hung on a tree]… no no no, we want mercantile materialism to minimize the malaise of modern madness. I said gimme gimme gimme, kay?)
So shop until we drop the pretense of what this holiday is all about.
The Russian Futurists proffer some electro-pop “100 Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” BLUE ALERT, but this is so lovestruck and iconoclast, it gets thumbs up without reservation. Dance, consumers!
One of Cledus T Judd’s less clever bits of irony is “364 More Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” You’re to never stop shopping year-round, get it? Plodding and predictable, it is still humorous. Leave it to Cledus.
Durand Bernar parties hip hop pop with “Christmas Shopping in July,” infecting us with symbolic joie de vivre bordering on dyspeptic mania. It’s about the feeling, but all good holiday songs are.
“What is Christmas Without a Tree?” wonder Sno Cones with pop rock, tambourine, and Spanish guitar. (It’s like Easter without the bunny.) (It’s like this blog without this song.)
As mentioned afore, location may determine the availability of a good tree. Rusty Wellington pushes the c-western envelope with “There’s No Christmas Tree in Vietnam.” Our boys!
But, no trees in Trini?! “No Trees for We” worry General Grant with some shakin’ parang.
Treemouth wonders about the should have beens while rocking out about the loss of his “Christmas Tree.” He’s got none. Sad. But rhythmic.
Big R+B from Roy C who has no woman no cry no tree in “Christmas Without a Tree.” Ain’t nobody here but me. Blue now.
Minister Johnson classily cools R+B with a larcenous libretto about a B+E in “Where’s My Christmas Tree?” Poor screaming guy, they even took his biscuits!
I’m coming around to the idea that some of these Christmas Tree entitled songs are jumping on the log truck bandwagon and have nothing to do with celebrating the holidays after all.
Or i can’t tell what the sap they’re talking about.
But i like the songs.
Mattie D’s “Christmas Tree” overwhelms us with percussive urgency.
Mike Red & Rai P sample off the ‘Home Alone’ movies. “Christmas Trees” lays the angry rhymes down. BLUE ALERT
Word jazz accompanied by experimental jazz (it almost tells a story…) “Black Christmas Tree” somehow from Midget Handjob. Enter at your own risk.
“Christmas Tree” from Romantic Beats may be trying to trick us, but the angelic distortion of pop music lulls me to confused submission. Ahhh.
Under the Bodhi Tree torture their “Pink Christmas Tree” with grinding club rock. But what in the dickens is it?
Does anyone sing along with metal? Twitch’s “Christmas Tree” has an angry punk message (i think) but mostly keeps time (to me). You try it.
Ditto for amped punk. EXTREME BLUE ALERT “Christmas Tree Farms” by way of Snag spews vitriol, and i guess some December framework.
180! Light gentle jazz pop from The Pearlfishers intoning some Rod McKuen-style poetic sloppiness with “A Christmas Tree in a Hurricane.” Like a musical intro for a ’80s sitcom.
Also tender, Borderline Beauty (which seems to associate the growth with peace) cries out for “Christmas Tree Without an Oh.” Folk rock on a mission to change the world through poetry.
Guy Capecelatro III has a concept album (Abandoned Christmas Trees) about existential angst which ticks off the Christmas boxes. “Chainsaw” is a folk charmer about failures. “Tinsel” bemoans our futility with experimental rock. Now go take drugs.
When the lyrics talk about losing all friends, i think i know the category for the song, but Vengaboys are so party-strange with Uncle John dying and reggae-disco beats… i give up. “Where did My Christmas Tree Go?” is for you to figure out.
Short and sweet Laura Watling’s “Christmas Trees in July” pop tinkles across the dance floor.
Jumping Through Fiery Hoops also coopts our topic oddly. “Working on a Christmas Tree Farm” is psychedelia with a folk bent and flashfast imagery to corrupt your status quo. Whoa.
I’ve listened to “Christmas Tree” by Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads several times and i know it’s about something, but i don’t care. Chorale rock. Art qua art, dudes.
