WHAT ELSE? Chaka Kwan

There are enough black in the USA that it’s not all straight-up straight laced. Black culture includes Republicans, thugs, choirboys, and brain surgeons. So. Are there outlier Kwanzaa songs? How weird does it get?

Kev Choice tries cacaphonous rap with his “Kwanzaa Song.” Sounds like anyone who could pick up an instrument did. But it’s upfront.

Deuce the Emcee samples out trad R+B Xmas music to back his mad rap “Harambee It’s Kwanzaa.” Seizure inducing.

Pop tribal from Steve Cobb & Chavunduka, “It’s Kwanzaa Time” starts out sweetly, then comes the frogmouth (is that s’pose pass for Louis Armstrong?), then the motor-rap (Bobby McFerrin?). Cartoon values for the season. Drum solo for an anticlimactic finish.

Georgia Anne Muldrow gets experimental pop with layered vocals and bells, bells, bells in “The Kwanzaa Song.” (I wish creative oddness extended into title making.)

Experimental reggae from Luqmann Ruth, “Kwanzaa Song” is inspirational, recreational, and crazy weird.

WHAT ELSE? No Kwan do

Not every holiday gets the respect it craves.

Roger Emerson’s “Kwanzaa Celebration” from the school assembly program December in Our Town: A Multicultural Celebration of the Season is for all kids, but it sounds like all-white kids. Brrr.

Dana Manno’s “Oh Happy Kwanzaa” should read as a fun kidsong. But it struts its high-pitched sass with snooty teacher condescension. No like.

We’ll bask in the funny Kwanzaa songs a little later. Some of the ironic approaches miss the mark so widely they need their own requiems. So brace yourself for Jeffrey and Luke Robles and their basement tape “The Kwanzaa Song.” Yes, it starts with an apology. Not enough.

WHAT ELSE? Kwanzaa t’My House

Let’s unroll some serious music to celebrate 12/26-1/1. Our spiritual black roots are showing.

Lovely Hoffman has some pop soul to dance and soar to. “A Kwanzaa Song” feels like gospel. That sounds right.

Tribal gospel from The Kwanzaa Gospel Chorus: “7” is a piece of power and inspiration. Try to keep your seat.

An island beat informs “Happy Kwanzaa” from Fanoko Singers. You should be able to learn the words pretty quick, bahs.

WHAT ELSE? K-7

In the spirit of Juneteenth, the Black Power movement in the 1960s USA embarked on a holiday for the cultural values shared by those with a proud African heritage. Others can stand outside the circle and learn a little of the seven principles.

By way of introduction, a children’s chorus from Kutsal Gun intone the honorarium “O Kwanzaa.” It’s for the kids! Be ready to take notes (the song repeats because there’s so much information)!

Trying for more authenticity, Quaver Music’s “Kwanzaa Celebration” uses more drumming. Seven days, class–who wants the time off?

The African-American Mr. Rogers NGUZO SABA recites “The Kwanzaa Song” to a badass backbeat, rap with values. He’s friendly, but morally authoritative. Heed to his Herbie Hancock backdrop.

WHAT ELSE? Two, Too

This mishmash of holiday observances might be blamed on The O.C. yes that old TV series from the early ’00s which popularized Chrismukkah as some compromise between the (white) winners and (other) losers.

Michael Taub’s “Chrismukkah Song” is adorable klezmer pop and calling on all partiers.

More homegrown jpv91’s “Chrismukkah Song” lays down the beat to the four winds. Strong song. Let your folk flag fly!

Watch For Rocks ft. Ted Organ from Darkness Dear Boy moves more seamlessly (less seamily??) from one side to the other with “The Chrismukkah Song.” Folk pop of the upbeat persuasion. (The mashups are a bit much, bit still…) St. Nikki & The Driedels do this way more mindlessly pop (without the mashups).

WHAT ELSE? Three’s a Crowd

Just enough fun songs to continue to mock the holy trinity of cultural clash around the shortest day of the year.

“The Worst Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa Song Ever Written or Sung” by Tony Caravan is word jazz of slight merit. Techno meh.

Virgin Mobile ran a series of song ads about “Chrismahanukwanzakah” with a peppy pop ensemble that somehow came off as reverent. The nerve!

Master crassman Heywood Banks calls on the capitalists’ gods with “It’s a Ramadan-Hannakah-Christmas-Kwanza-Pagan-Solstice Time.” It’s fast folk and Bob and Tom rated.

Matt Roach folk stomps out “Merry Christmahanukwanzaa” with tongue in sneering cheek. Whoa. Now you know.

WHAT ELSE? Hedging Bets

There’s the old joke of the old old man who is visited by a different leader of faith every hour on his deathbed. When his children ask why all the curiosity he admits he has converted seventeen times “…just in case.”

So craven are the songs that celebrate everything all at once.

Tia Micula and the Cape Henry Middle Schoolers sing “Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah” as a bouncy assignment in multiculturalism. Now i don’t anything.

Jon Cozart harmonizes himself with “Progressive Christmas Carols.” This is the sketch act of carol parodies, hit-and-miss. Great pipes. Some wit about the intolerance of each of the holidays.

“Christma-Hanu-Rama-Ka-Dona-Kwanzaa” by Roy Zimmerman is a sketch of an idea of a bit. Let this one ferment a while longer.

Altogether now! “A Christmas/kwanzaa/solstice/chanukah/ramadan/boxing Day Song” by Christine Lavin & The Mistletones layers the holidays (including one at the opposite time of year) in a medieval round that you’ll want to drift you gently down the stream.

Having a bit more sense of humor, Christine Lavin & The Mistletones continue with a mashup of the holidays and song genres with “The All Purpose Christmas Carol.” Daylight come and me wanna go one more time.

Call the Christmas Queens when you want to enliven your stale Holiday office party of uncertain denominations. Ginger Minj sings “Christma-Hannu-Kwanzaa-Ka” with just the right pop jazz sass. Is it offensive? (Maybe to eggs.) Shut up and dance!

WHAT ELSE? The Question

Christmas isn’t the only day of the year. Mercy, it isn’t even the only celebration of December. It’s that time of the year to take a breather and explore our options.

First off, let’s address the reindeer in the room: How are you even asking about OTHER holidays? Certes, i address Hanukkah semi-irregularly ‘cuz it was Jesus’ Christmas. But why the wandering eye, you cheater?

A couple songs to bask in the confusion of the competition.

Demi Adejuyigbe plays the War on Christmas card with his racist “I Hope You Have a Very Merry Holiday.” The big three (Hanukkah-Kwanzaa-Christmas) fight it out here, although the C-word is never said aloud. Fun, chatty country.

On the other side “Christmas Isn’t Real” according to JMaq (Shark Uppercut) who pop raps the electronica with some secular humanist bummery.

Bill Wurtz brings the lite pop of a sitcom musical intro for his “Christmas isn’t Real.” It’s like a calendar on acid. And continues to bring Xmas into question.

It’s All Relative, the good stuff

I started out this month looking to compare Christmas novelty songs about loving family and loathing family. I’m going to have to admit the good outweighs the bad in quantity and quality. So let’s cap off the festivities with some coolcoolcool numbers i’ll listen to more than once.

Gene Wang leads a jazz ensemble in “Christmas Means Family” that knows how to set a mood. And the mood is good.

Here’s some new age dance music. The pagan party spirit of “Christmas in Your Family’s Arms” makes me think i can dance (i can’t really). Cheryl Hillier haunts my visions of sugarplums.

Pop country leaves me feelin’ empty inside. So imagine my surprise that Stephen Day’s “Family Christmas” uplifts me. Is it the blues underlying the tempo? Is it the irreverent folk? Gotta recommend.

Luigi Scaglione (later known by his performing name “Lou Monte”) hit with ‘Bella Notte’ and ‘Darktown Strutters’ Ball’ and is even known to Christmas novelty with ‘Dominick the Donkey.’ But “Christmas at Our House” is a saucy meatball of ethnic hammery. 1960 we all wished our family was that loving and close. Joe Dolce (the ‘Shaddup You Face’ guy) covers this even more sweetly (in 1981 when racism was more funny).