What are Americans really scared of? Each other? Oh, for the days of us v. them that involved other countries (not just dissimilar looking Americans).
Rathergood has those godless Reds co-opting OUR holiday with their sprightly growling “Communist Christmas.” I want a chocolate Trotsky! Erm, i mean, what about the Son of God!?
Shana Lynette, fresh from Pittsburgh, Kansas, made a small splash in our Cold War with her 1983 novelty swinger “Mr. Russian, Please Don’t shoot Down Santa’s Sleigh.” That’ll show ’em.
Flinging his own words back in the speaker’s face is an American sport. Does anyone learn from this lesson? Or does it only lessen the weight of the argument made (stop copying me! no, i mean it, stop it!). You decide.
When Reindeers Collide Inc (from Something Awful) multi-media us a mess with their ironic “War on Christmas and Baby Jesus,” sampling and shouting before a moribund recorder tracing out Auld Lang Syne. Clearly this is against–but against what?
Schmoyoho has some songify fun with hot topics. “Donald Trump’s Christmas Carol” just rollicks along on a pop melody without seeming to realize the life-and-death issue at hand.
Irony cuts both ways. While touting one idea beyond the pale, the humorist wishes to make the point that said idea is beyond okay. Yet, the sis and the boom and the bah waggle it in our face so tantalizingly. When you use sarcasm, first dig two graves.
Watkins & The Rapiers paint a pretty worst case scenario about when to wish what to whom with “Are You Man Enough (To Say Merry Christmas)?” The digs are torturous with the soft jazzy folk (Salvation Army influenced).
Horrible sopranos aren’t all tributes to Mike Douglas’s Mrs. Miller, but Dysfunctional Family featuring Metropolitan Melinda taking on the left with “Politically Correct Christmas” sure takes me back. This song gets made over for the Christian right here and there, but who’s getting poked after all?
The best way to take offense is to rant and rave with tongue in cheek. Your mother stinks of elderberry (just kidding)! Or to be gentle while pointing out how muchthat other guy is foaming at the mouth.
Carrie Rinderer and the American Christian Life United (ACLU) choir won’t let you tell them what to say, but will tell you to boycott all half-assed associates who won’t “Say Merry Christmas.” Lively pop gospel to smooth out the intolerance. (What would JC shop at?)
Roger Weber is gonna say what he wants to say. Which is what you ought not to do. “Say Merry Christmas” is soft pop reminiscent of the ’70s. Oo, ee, baby.
When assigning blame for all the world’s ills, especially when it involves the color of someone else, it helps to pick something seemingly innocuous so that you can hold forth lecturing at length about the involved, intertwining conspiracy which has heretofore gone unheeded.
The problem the angry Christians have today is not lion baiting, or Auto-da-fé, or even ageism–it’s how they’re not appreciated enough. When the accusation of racist can be considered a hate crime, these guys have A LOT to say, cross-plaining to all that would lend an ear.
Mountain Jerry Boy lets loose with “Merry Christmas (Not Happy Holidays)” for your enlightenment. It’s twinkly country with a passive aggressive bent. So get over it.
A bit more Hawaiian, Chris Scott warbles about ‘all that was given’ in “Doesn’t Anybody Say Merry Christmas Anymore?” It’s all family values and Hallmark greetings. Almost no whiffs of resentment… just asking.
Although the religious gravitas on Christmas took hits from the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany last Century, certainly capitalism has diminished the faith-basing in honor of the cash-generating. Yet, Peter Brimelaw and Bill O’Reilly have cranked up a rallying cry on ‘The War on Christmas’ for a dozen years or more, evidencing the public schools and other small gov’t civic institutions secularizing public December observations after being called to task in the ’90s over the whitewashing of America, which is not only WASP but full of lots of all kinds of peoples non-aboriginal. If you say the code words Merry Christmas you can disguise many sweatshop/uncharitable evils from those with privilege panic. But if you intone Happy Holiday as an inclusive, welcoming allowance (even in an Irving Berlin way), you have once again killed the King of the Jews.
Sounds like we’re taking sides, but it’s ALL about Christmas, so it’s all included this month. Angry us vs. them bashing, ironic jollity, ambiguity, and celebration–any song that circles the controversy will be allowed to wage war from any angle. A few may be good. Let’s see….
Honestly too few songs make the fuss about how we should be less Christian for this party. I certainly played my share couple months ago when we celebrated Festivus, Kwanzaa, and Solstice Night.
Kari Maaren has a bit of fun with C.S. Lewis’s Narnia lore in her folksy “I Won’t Say Merry Christmas to You.” This White Witch monologue to music seems to be part of some Off-Off-Off-Broadway attempt. Smart, and with Turkish delight.
Kara Square also relies on the ukulele with her atheist’s appeal: “Please Don’t Wish Me a Merry Christmas.” Her sensitivity comes with instructions. Everyone get along, now!
Clearly the best novelty Christmas song about Mrs. Santa Claus is the German Expressionistic tour-de-force from Soshana Bean. “Surabaya – Santa” is a journey of origin, romance, jealousy, abandonment, resentment, payback, manic-depression, humiliation, and evolution. Jason Robert Brown’s Off-Broadway 1995 musical ‘Songs for a New World’ offers a revue of mad masterpieces including this rando operetta. Holy mother.
You know you’ve made it when they parody you. Mrs. Claus has a couple song spoofs in her honor.
‘Greensleeves’ is sorta kinda Christmas, and it’s the lead-in for “Playing Mrs. Claus.” This showtune is about the out-of-work actress gig no one wants as portrayed by Natasha Barnes. If you’ve seen ‘A Christmas Story’ you know the tone.
Obvi, “Me and Mrs. Claus” the take on Billy Paul’s ‘Me and Mrs. Jones’ redoubles the hat mama-ness of that granny. I know this from Bob Rivers and have used it before. But Mmm did it a few years earlier than him.
Third Bass does an unrecognizable parang wild run at the whole thing.
‘Stacy’s Mom’ by Fountains of Wayne gets a loop de loop with Bob Ricci’s “Mrs. Claus.” This is a dead ringer for a ‘Weird’ Al bit, albeit deadpan adultery.
Mrs. Claus is such an institution she’s a symbol for the capable woman. Well, she should be that and not some taken-for-granted chained-to-the-kitchen housefrau.
The Brit indie rock band Swim Deep spawned the group Ginger and the odder than pop “Don’t Shave for Me Mrs. Claus” in which the transgender decide how to present using the original woman in the shadows.
The Travis Waltons alt garage the weirdness of “Mrs Claus” comparing her to the girlfriend, who makes him feel cold but Christmassy. And he’s sick of you. What?!
“I Wanna be Mrs. Claus” is some cry for help from daddy issues or something. Starlet Knight is dedicated to the cause, but swings it cool.
Lil Jackie’s funk fueled ‘9 to 5’ tribute claims she’s as good as “Mrs. Claus.” She can damwell sing circles around her, that’s for sure. Here here.
Can Mrs. Claus do everything Santa can do, backwards in heels? Listen.
Shirley Booth in ‘The Year Without Santa Claus’ represents the Mrs.’s realization that “I Could be Santa Claus.” So there. Showtune styled.
Hani Stempler tells the showtune kidsong “Here Comes Mrs. Santa Claus,” about the time he couldn’t so she had to. Three cheers for filling his shoes.
Larry Nestor leads the fun when Santa was down, the elves were too small, and “It was Mrs. Claus!” who saved the day. She can drive, so hooray. Showtune swing.
“The Mrs. Saved Christmas” is kidrap from Aloe Blacc wherein she drives, commands, and delivers. And she rescues the stuck fat sack as well.
When they start writing to her, you know Santa matters less. The Brymers have composed “Dear Mrs. Santa Claus” with kiddie jazziness to ask the real questions about that guy. Does he like to sing? Now i wanna know.
Lala Deaton warns the neglected “Dear Mrs. Claus” with jump blues that she needs the credit of getting her name in a song. ‘Cause she does stuff, you know. The video loves itself with extra wacky comic bits, but the song is smooth.
